Facebook insults and the hilarity that is social networking sites.

[afbluebelle]

Ahhhh, its been a bit since Best Basic Buddy and his Wife of Doom have added some hilarity to my mundane life.


Background: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=29767.0 and someone invented Facebook.

So, a guy invents a social networking site.  AfBlue ignores it.
Then gets pressured to join because "all the cool kids are doing it"

I get a friend request from my basic training buddy. I friend him, and don't think anything of it, because it wasn't accompanied by a screeching phone call or a death threat.  I commented on his status page once or twice, and all was well.

Until I made a comment about still being around, so I guess I wasn't the culprit (he had invasive surgery to clean up some scar tissue in one of his joints. He posted it as getting ride of stuff that bugged me)

Evil wife posted up that she wished he would get rid of stuff that bugs her.  BTB is a great guy, but I'm really wondering if I should block him... I don't want to deal with snarky internet comments that I am not able to flame on 

So, to block... or not to block. That is the question.

[gibsongirl]

Well, you could block her.  That way your posts on his stuff (I think) should not show up to her.  Don't quote me on that, but it's a start.

[afbluebelle]

That works?

I barely know how to work facebook... so I have no idea how that stuff goes.  I sent him a message saying we were still cool, sorry for ticking her off, and if he wants me off of his friends list I understand.  He knows I will always be there, I don't need a friend request to make me be his friend.


But blocking her would rock my socks... but if she found out, it could end up bad for him.

[Miss March]

So he wrote "I got rid of the stuff that's been bugging me! (referring to his removal of scar tissue). You wrote "Well, I'm still here so guess I'm not the culprit!" and his wife posted "I wish you'd get rid of some of the things that bother ME."

That doesn't necessarily sound like she's commenting on you. It could easily be just a tongue and cheek joke between her and her husband-- he got rid of that scar tissue, now if only he'd get rid of that ratty old baseball hat!

It's very easy to perceive 'snark' where non is intended when things are only in writing.

[Pinky830]

I'm not getting where any of this has anything to do with you, as far as you know. Defriend them if you want to, or do what I did with a few people and just hide their posts. To be honest, I'd be a little uncomfortable having FB friends who felt about me the way you seem to feel about them.

[Hawkwatcher]

I'm not getting where any of this has anything to do with you, as far as you know. Defriend them if you want to, or do what I did with a few people and just hide their posts. To be honest, I'd be a little uncomfortable having FB friends who felt about me the way you seem to feel about them.

I agree that this is the best approach.  I am not sure that the potential complications are worth dealing with Buddy on FB.

[afbluebelle]

I don't "feel" any particular way about them.  He is one of my best friends, and she did her level best to get me in a huge amount of trouble because she has issues.

I just thought that he had been allowed to talk to me again, because I wasn't going to talk to him again unless he was.  He friended me, so I figured things had been resolved on his side, and there wouldn't be any problems.

And I highly doubt she was talking about a hat... this is the same person who lied about me to my supervision and showed up at my place of work to yell at me for no particular reason.


I was just trying to leave a line of communication open to my friend, because he has been through a lot of crap.

[ginlyn32]

It sounds like your friends wife has jealousy issues.

I would stay out of it...

And I would probably de-friend him. Because you don't need that kind of crazy in your life.

ginlyn

[LeeLee88]

You know, I don't think I'd bother with blocking him.  That's kind of punishing him two-fold: he gets blocked from communicating with you on FB, and his wife still gets to rip on him for him having had you as a friend on there in the first place.  Thusly, I propose a 50% win, 50% lose approach:  keep him as a FB friend, but limit your posting to his wall and such.  It's 50% win because he gets to still have you as a FB friend and can still communicate with you through private messages if his wife gets all bunched up over wall-posts.  However, it's 50% because his wife might see that you guys are still friends and get herself all bunched up over that and continue to get on his case about it. 

I say stay, because he obviously needs a really good friend to talk to (maybe about a super-jealous wife), and it's not fair to punish him for her crazy.  While we do not have definitive proof that she was making a crack at you in the post, it's not a far stretch of the imagination, as you've already demonstrated, so stick with him for a while on FB.  Who knows, it may just get him to finally tell her to put a sock in it.

[Alida]

Be a duck.  Let these things roll off your back like water off a duck's back.

You really don't know that this was specifically aimed at you. Unless she makes more pointed comments that really point to you, I'd say - be a duck.

[afbluebelle]

Quack... I like that.


Though I am 99.9% sure she was cracking on me... but I will be nice.  I don't like fighting, and my boys piece of mine is worth more than my evil sense of humor.

[Nurvingiel]

Unless there's more background, it doesn't seem like she was necessarily snarking you. (Though, I can see how it would read that way.)

At this point I would ignore the comment.

[sammycat]

I just read the background thread.  At first I felt a little sorry for her.  Sometimes it can be hard for even a rational person to tolerate their spouse's close friendship with someone of the opposite sex.  If you're insecure to start with then it's even harder.  Then I read the part where she had called up your work superiors.  How dare she!  What a nutjob!  Any sympathy went out the window after that.

The problem is obviously with her and her lack of trust in her husband (or men in general?).  It has nothing to do with you, other than you have unfortunately become the scapegoat for her issues.

As for the FB situation.  Based on the history I'd unfortunately be inclined to think it was a dig at you.  Can you see if there are many other females on his list? 

I probably wouldn't block him just yet, maybe just not post/comment on his site.  It may be the way you find out that he's finally come to his senses and left her (again).  Sadly though the sort of relationship your friend and his wife have often the to be on/off/on/off repeatedly, so an 'off' status may not last long. 

I wonder if her head would explode if she realised that it was him that friended you first, rather than the other way round?

Just curious, is their child a girl?  Just wondering in case the wife/mother starts to try and convince her that all men are *&#@&% as she gets older.

[Allyson]

Even if it was a dig, I'd just ignore it. She wants a response, so don't give her one. Behave exactly as you would if she'd never made the comment, or if it had nothing to do with you. I find when people make passive-aggressive little insults, a good technique is to pretend you have no idea it has to do with you.

I wouldn't block him, either. Just keep up your business and don't increase or decrease the frequency of your comments to your friend--she hasn't addressed YOU, after all.

[Cz. Burrito]

Unless there's more background, it doesn't seem like she was necessarily snarking you. (Though, I can see how it would read that way.)

At this point I would ignore the comment.

I'm 99.8% sure that, given the background, this was a dig at afbluebelle.  However, my policy on PA comments is to take them literally.  I refuse to fill in words where there are none, and I will not read minds.  I agree with the Duck Method above.