Facebook PMs

[mikeylou]

Oh, and I forgot to mention earlier, but I suffer from "I forgot to reply to your mail"-itis. 

With the fact you can read your PM in your email box, I typically read it there, think "I should reply to this when I get on FB next", and promptly forget all about it.

So I have a lot of "unread" messages in my inbox. 

[artk2002]

I've had several hours long chats with people I have never met personally before--some who are very forthcoming with personal information and it seems as if we have been friends for years when in fact we have only met on Facebook.  A little odd, but then at the same time, its a real person with real feelings and I try my best to take people at "face" value--- or should that be "Facebook value.   

The bolded is why I stopped doing any form of internet chat, except with people I have a close relationship outside of the chat, or for the purposes of work.  It's an interesting phenomenon, but online chat (in particular) creates a false sense of intimacy.  I've been hurt by this, several times, and so stopped participating.  While it's nice to take them at face value, please understand that they could be the absolute opposite of what they claim to be.  The old cartoon "On the Internet, nobody knows that you're a dog" is absolutely true.

There are a number of reasons why someone won't reply:
* They don't feel like chatting with you.  They don't feel the relationship is nearly as close as you do.
* They aren't at their computer.  It's quite possible to look like you're logged in, while nowhere near your computer.
* It's their cousin/uncle/roommate/cat logged in and not the person you think that it is.  They don't know you so they don't respond.
* Your IMs are getting lost in the great mass inter-tubes.

[Audrey Quest]

I've had several hours long chats with people I have never met personally before--some who are very forthcoming with personal information and it seems as if we have been friends for years when in fact we have only met on Facebook.  A little odd, but then at the same time, its a real person with real feelings and I try my best to take people at "face" value--- or should that be "Facebook value.   

The bolded is why I stopped doing any form of internet chat, except with people I have a close rel@tionship outside of the chat, or for the purposes of work.  It's an interesting phenomenon, but online chat (in particular) creates a false sense of intimacy.  I've been hurt by this, several times, and so stopped participating.  While it's nice to take them at face value, please understand that they could be the absolute opposite of what they claim to be.  The old cartoon "On the Internet, nobody knows that you're a dog" is absolutely true.

I'm not too worried about it--these particular people are part of a specific community and there are connections with people that I do know.  While I tend to not be too overly sharey (because it is after all under my real name) it does amaze me how forthcoming some people are on first contact...

[Kari]

I also tend to keep Facebook up in the background as I work on other things on my computer and sometimes miss the instant message. I also am not a big fan of Facebook's IM service, as I find that it sometimes freezes (I have to go to another tab and then click back on FB of it to work again).

Also, there are some people that I've friended on FB that I don't really want to talk to at that moment because I have nothing to say to them and I'd rather be doing something more fun. I know that sounds harsh, but I have no problem having a conversation with these people in real life the one or two times a year I might see them. It's quite an adjustment from seeing a boyfriend's uncle's girlfriend once in a blue moon, to getting a daily barrage of IMs every time you pop on FB.

If you really want to speak the the person, give them a call, or send them an e-mail that they can answer at their own leisure. If they don't answer back then, I'm afraid that person just doesn't want a relationship with you closer than casual Facebook acquaintances.

[ACBNYC]

A lot of times I'll just miss an IM if I have several tabs open. I've also noticed that I'll sometimes get an I.M. that I don't see if I'm accessing Facebook from my phone--it seems that if I'm online but I'm not actually in the iPhone Facebook chat module, I'll get the I.M. but won't see it. When I then log in to Facebook on my computer I'll see the I.M. that came in over an hour ago.

I never purposely ignore an I.M.--if I'm seen as online, I consider that I'm available and would feel rude ignoring a direct message. I will sometimes tell people I'm in the middle of something and will talk to them later, then take myself offline.

[Bibliophile]

I've never even tried to use the FB chat feature so I'm sure I may have some requests that I've never responded to as I leave it up for most of the day while working.  I don't really enjoy "chat" mode & prefer email instead...

[Craftymom]

Another possibility: maybe they are busy farming and answering a PM would screw up their momentum. Not that I spend a lot of time on farm town or anything.

Or taking care of their fish tank and garden...

I just started on FB and have gotten addicted to the 2 above apps..
BTW, it took me 2 weeks to realize there WAS a IM feature, and I am not a stranger to IMing...

[RainhaDoTexugo]

Another possibility: maybe they are busy farming and answering a PM would screw up their momentum. Not that I spend a lot of time on farm town or anything.

Or taking care of their fish tank and garden...

I just started on FB and have gotten addicted to the 2 above apps..
BTW, it took me 2 weeks to realize there WAS a IM feature, and I am not a stranger to IMing...

Don't feel too bad, it took me about 3 years, and then I only figured it out because someone IMed me.

[Nurvingiel]

Another possibility: maybe they are busy farming and answering a PM would screw up their momentum. Not that I spend a lot of time on farm town or anything.

Or taking care of their fish tank and garden...

I just started on FB and have gotten addicted to the 2 above apps..
BTW, it took me 2 weeks to realize there WAS a IM feature, and I am not a stranger to IMing...

Don't feel too bad, it took me about 3 years, and then I only figured it out because someone IMed me.

Well, the IM was added around the second to last update. About six months or so now? So it's fairly new.

[RainhaDoTexugo]

Another possibility: maybe they are busy farming and answering a PM would screw up their momentum. Not that I spend a lot of time on farm town or anything.

Or taking care of their fish tank and garden...

I just started on FB and have gotten addicted to the 2 above apps..
BTW, it took me 2 weeks to realize there WAS a IM feature, and I am not a stranger to IMing...

Don't feel too bad, it took me about 3 years, and then I only figured it out because someone IMed me.

Well, the IM was added around the second to last update. About six months or so now? So it's fairly new.

Ah, well, that helps   I've known about it for at least a few months now.