Author Topic: FB etiquette question  (Read 1695 times)

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HeeBeeJeeBee

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FB etiquette question
« on: February 14, 2010, 07:30:49 PM »
I posted a few days ago about posting a few things about work which were taken to my boss.  Since then, I have made my page private, and have reduced my friend list to 22 of my closest friends and family.  No co-workers or casual acquaintances.

My etiquette question is - if people I have de-friended notice this and ask to be my friend again, how do I explain to them that I am keeping my friend list to "closest only"?  What if they think they have done something wrong, or that I am angry with them?  It's nothing personal to anyone I de-friended, and I am worried an explanation will be requested from me, or that the de-friended people will assume I am angry?

TIA!     

Hanna

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Re: FB etiquette question
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2010, 07:37:31 PM »
Why not make your profile unsearchable?  And if anyone does ask, you can say that you aren't really much of a facebook user now and that it is nothing personal.

greenleafmountain

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Re: FB etiquette question
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2010, 08:03:21 PM »
If someone asks you directly, I think it's perfectly fine to say you're backing away from facebook.  You can fib a bit and say you're only remaining facebook friends with a few family members so you can access their pictures or something...

Chocolate Moose

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Re: FB etiquette question
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2010, 08:30:24 PM »
I think its a bad idea to say you are not on facebook anymore when you really are.

If they ask you if they offended you or for some other explanation for the de-friending, I'd be honest but give a really simple answer.  For work friends 'I've decided to keep my work life and personal life separate' or 'I've decided its best to not have work friends on facebook'  for other friends 'I'm not mad or anything, I just needed to scale back' or 'I was just cleaning things up, nothing personal'

familyfun

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Re: FB etiquette question
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2010, 12:43:31 PM »
I think its a bad idea to say you are not on facebook anymore when you really are.

If they ask you if they offended you or for some other explanation for the de-friending, I'd be honest but give a really simple answer.  For work friends 'I've decided to keep my work life and personal life separate' or 'I've decided its best to not have work friends on facebook'  for other friends 'I'm not mad or anything, I just needed to scale back'

These are both fine responses.

yupitsme

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Re: FB etiquette question
« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2010, 09:03:17 AM »
A similar situation happened at my job....

Someone was friends with me and 2 other coworkers. They went nuts bad mouthing the company one night in their status. They were spoken to about it. It's actually grounds for termination at my company. The next day one of my coworkers and I were no longer friends with this person but the other coworker still was. It made things very awkward at work.

Mahdoumi

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Re: FB etiquette question
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2010, 08:37:46 PM »
Why not make your profile unsearchable?  And if anyone does ask, you can say that you aren't really much of a facebook user now and that it is nothing personal.

This.

blarg314

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Re: FB etiquette question
« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2010, 09:11:24 PM »

I'd tell coworkers or business acquaintances that you have a new policy of not Friending business contacts.

For other people, *if asked* I'd probably just say you were getting overwhelmed by too many status updates, and have decided to keep Facebook for keeping in touch with family. I'd avoid implying that they haven't made the cut by friendship level, though. 

kandikrisp

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Re: FB etiquette question
« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2010, 09:18:46 PM »
I had a facebook+coworker problem. I didn't get in trouble, but he was posting on my wall/statuses *way* more than I felt comfortable with. He'd go back through weeks and weeks worth of information and commenting on things that I'd written a month ago. He was a lot older than me, and some of his comments seemed almost *too* friendly, in a way.

Since it was only one, I blocked and said that I'd disabled my Facebook. I felt bad for lying, but I felt a lot more comfortable afterward.

If it's five people or less that you've unfriended, I'd say go ahead and block and claim inactivity.

The problem with the way Facebook is set up now, I haven't found a way to get my profile completely "invisible" to people who aren't my friends. It used to be possible to block out your profile picture so that no one could be 100% sure it was you, make yourself unsearchable, ect. But if you have any mutual friends in common with your co-workers, no matter how many protections you have slammed up, they'll at least know that you *are* still on Facebook, and that you did unfriend them. If you're looking to avoid that confrontation all together, blocking may be the only way to go.

If you're willing to let them know you unfriended, then I'll POD other posters about the "family" line.