Finally found my list of pirate-themed jokes
And I, for one, am thankful for it.
My favourite truly terrible pirate joke:
A young lad got talking to an old pirate, who had an eye patch, a wooden leg, and a hook instead of one hand. Curiously, he asked how the pirate lost his leg.
"Arrrrrrrr, we was at sea, we was, in rough seas, and this gurt huge shark leapt onto the deck, and before I knew it, he was off with me leg."
The youngster was horrified. He said, "That's terrible! Terrible! But how did you lose your hand?"
"Arrrrrrrr, we was at sea, we was, and we was boarded by enemy pirates. I fought hard, but in the midst of it this huge buccaneer sliced off me hand."
"My God," said the young man. "What a dreadful misfortune. But how did you lose your eye?"
"Arrrrrrrr, we was at sea, we was, on a beautiful day. I was lookin' up at the sky when a fat seagull flew over and crapped right in me eye."
"Great Scott," said the youngster. "I had no idea that seagull faeces was so corrosive!"
"Narrrrrrrr," said the pirate. "Was me first day with the hook."