Author Topic: Groaners  (Read 20847 times)

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deadbody

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #135 on: March 09, 2011, 10:23:46 PM »
My 93 year old grandfather had dementia before he passed.  One day at breakfast with my parents and my wife and I there he asked my 85 year old grandmother why they don't get intimate more often (although in a cruder way).  She proceeded to describe in great detail the last time she tried.

There are things that once heard cannot be unheard.  Your grandmother describing trying to orally pleasure your grandfather is one of those things.

/full body shudder

In yellow if people have a weak stomach

JonGirl

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #136 on: March 10, 2011, 04:39:20 AM »
My 93 year old grandfather had dementia before he passed.  One day at breakfast with my parents and my wife and I there he asked my 85 year old grandmother why they don't get intimate more often (although in a cruder way).  She proceeded to describe in great detail the last time she tried.

There are things that once heard cannot be unheard.  Your grandmother describing trying to orally pleasure your grandfather is one of those things.

/full body shudder

In yellow if people have a weak stomach

 :-X
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bigozzy

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #137 on: March 10, 2011, 06:03:57 AM »
Difference between a gold fish and a mountain goat?

Gold fish muck around in fountains.

purplemuse

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #138 on: March 10, 2011, 09:53:35 AM »
I wanted to post a good joke about philosophers, but I Kant.

MizB

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #139 on: March 10, 2011, 06:52:01 PM »
Why were the strawberries crying?

a)Because they were in a jam.

or

b)Because they were in a seedy situation.
‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’  attributed to Edmund Burke 1729-1797

JonGirl

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #140 on: March 11, 2011, 05:37:00 AM »
Difference between a gold fish and a mountain goat?

Gold fish muck around in fountains.

An oldie but a goodie! Love it.  ;D
Stewart/Colbert '16

WolfWay

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #141 on: March 11, 2011, 06:19:08 AM »
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
What's pink and licks your leg?

A friendly polony.
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

bigozzy

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #142 on: March 11, 2011, 06:24:10 AM »
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
What's pink and licks your leg?

A friendly polony.

eh?

WolfWay

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #143 on: March 11, 2011, 06:41:31 AM »
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
What's pink and licks your leg?

A friendly polony.

eh?
A friendly one of these:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bologna_sausage

Sorry, is polony a regional name? Would "a friendly bologna" have made more sense?

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

Wonderflonium

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #144 on: March 11, 2011, 09:14:10 AM »
Q: What do you call a canary sucked into a fan?
A: Shredded tweet.
The status is not quo!

Seraphim

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #145 on: March 11, 2011, 06:15:21 PM »
Whats green and red and travels at 1000000mph?


A frog in a blender.


What's green, red and brown and travels at 1000000mph?

A frog in a blender that has been there a week.



kitty-cat

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #146 on: March 11, 2011, 09:43:40 PM »
Difference between a gold fish and a mountain goat?

Gold fish muck around in fountains.

An oldie but a goodie! Love it.  ;D

I just got that one!




NE Florida

VorFemme

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #147 on: March 11, 2011, 09:47:26 PM »
What is the difference between God and a surgeon?

God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

Similarly - What is the difference between God and a fighter pilot?

God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

ETA - I've never worked for a surgeon - but I have worked for a fighter pilot........who was also an instructor for the particular fighter plane.   ::) 
« Last Edit: March 11, 2011, 09:49:30 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Wonderflonium

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #148 on: March 11, 2011, 10:29:02 PM »
Difference between a gold fish and a mountain goat?

Gold fish muck around in fountains.

An oldie but a goodie! Love it.  ;D

I just got that one!

I have a similar one, but I'm afraid it might be too risque. It implies a very naughty word.
The status is not quo!

Wonderflonium

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #149 on: March 11, 2011, 10:30:04 PM »
What is the difference between God and a surgeon?

God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

Cardiologists and neurologists (IME) would be good for this joke.
The status is not quo!