Author Topic: Groaners  (Read 21261 times)

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JonGirl

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #150 on: March 12, 2011, 12:12:37 AM »
Difference between a gold fish and a mountain goat?

Gold fish muck around in fountains.

An oldie but a goodie! Love it.  ;D

I just got that one!

I have a similar one, but I'm afraid it might be too risque. It implies a very naughty word.

I dosen't involve a magician and a group of blondes does it?  ;)  >:D
Stewart/Colbert '16

bigozzy

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #151 on: March 12, 2011, 11:54:13 AM »
Difference between a gold fish and a mountain goat?

Gold fish muck around in fountains.

An oldie but a goodie! Love it.  ;D

I just got that one!

I have a similar one, but I'm afraid it might be too risque. It implies a very naughty word.

I dosen't involve a magician and a group of blondes does it?  ;)  >:D


Magician and a poice man's baton?

White Dragon

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #152 on: March 12, 2011, 01:13:01 PM »
Whats green and red and travels at 1000000mph?


A frog in a blender.


What's green, red and brown and travels at 1000000mph?

A frog in a blender that has been there a week.

Whats green and red and travels at 1000000mph and goes flying all over your kitchen?

A frog in a blender with the lid left off.  :-X

kitty-cat

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #153 on: March 12, 2011, 09:26:03 PM »
In the same vein-

What's black and white and red all over?

A skunk in a blender




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Wonderflonium

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #154 on: March 13, 2011, 10:45:55 AM »
Difference between a gold fish and a mountain goat?

Gold fish muck around in fountains.

An oldie but a goodie! Love it.  ;D

I just got that one!

I have a similar one, but I'm afraid it might be too risque. It implies a very naughty word.

I dosen't involve a magician and a group of blondes does it?  ;)  >:D


Magician and a poice man's baton?

No to both, but I want to hear those jokes! *LOL* It involves Pygmies.
The status is not quo!

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #155 on: March 13, 2011, 10:28:45 PM »
2 potatoes are standing on a corner, which one is the prostitute?

The one stamped Idaho.

Wonderflonium

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #156 on: March 13, 2011, 10:31:55 PM »
2 potatoes are standing on a corner, which one is the prostitute?

The one stamped Idaho.

*LMBO* I have GOT to tell that one to my best friend.
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DangerMouth

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #157 on: March 13, 2011, 10:52:52 PM »
They finally convicted King Midas.

It was gilt by association.

LadyClaire

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #158 on: March 14, 2011, 03:55:19 PM »
A man goes to his psychologist and says "doc, I've got a huge problem. One minute I think I'm a teepee, and the next I think I'm a wigwam!"

His psychologist said "I see..I think I know what your problem is. You're two tents" (say it out loud..)

Poirot

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #159 on: March 14, 2011, 04:10:53 PM »
I didn't read the whole thread, so forgive me if this has been posted.

An 80 year old man goes to his doctor and says, "Doc, I need your help. My wife is wanting Scrabble all the time, and I just can't keep up anymore. Can you prescribe me some of those 'little blue pills'?"

The doctor says "Well, I have to do some tests to be sure it's safe for you to take." He draws some blood and gives him a jar and says "I'll need a sperm sample, take this home, and bring it back filled next week."

A week passes, and the old man returns to the doctor's office and hands him the jar. The doctor looks at it and says, "But this jar is empty?"

The old man says, "Look doc, I tried with my left hand, I tried with my right hand, my wife tried; we even brought over the cute young neighbor and she tried,but
>
>
>
>wait for it...........
>
>
>

"We just can't get the lid off this, darn jar!"

<sunglasses>  8)

Edited because I forgot 2 key words.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2011, 09:39:19 AM by Poirot »
A spoon! A spoon! My kingdom for a case of #%^***** spoons!

JonGirl

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #160 on: March 15, 2011, 06:13:41 AM »


A Polish guy went to go and get his eyes tested.
The doctor puts the letters CZWOECZWHJKXCZ up and asks can you tell me what that says?
The Polish guy says: Do I know what that says? Heck I know the guy!
Stewart/Colbert '16

Ferrets

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #161 on: March 17, 2011, 07:05:13 PM »
Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

Because it was too far for them to crawl.

;D

And, on that note...


WolfWay

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #162 on: March 18, 2011, 12:06:15 AM »
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

tnpenguinbaby

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #163 on: March 21, 2011, 04:49:13 PM »
How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Druids don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles!

What do you call 13 witches in a hot tub?
A self cleaning coven.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.

What do you call a dating club for witches?
Craft singles.

What do you say to an angry witch?
Ribbit.






momof2weenies

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Re: Groaners
« Reply #164 on: March 23, 2011, 04:47:08 PM »
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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Fish.
"Dachshunds are like potato chips. You can never have just one."