Author Topic: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74  (Read 1411941 times)

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bduckie

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #45 on: February 19, 2010, 11:00:56 PM »
The industry I work in has regulations that the doors to the front of our shops need to be solid, garage door type (ie, you can't see in when the store is closed).

One of the stores is a small, quiet location and therefore only the manager works on sundays.

The deal is that they take their lunch break by closing for 1/2 hour, put notice on the door and then re-open after break.

One sunday the store owner receives a call from a customer (storer was for sale and owners details were on the outside of the doors). Customer says the store has a "back in 1/2 hour" sign on it, and that she has been waiting for 45mins and there's no one there. Store owner was on his way there anyway, so tells the customer he will be about 15-20 mins, so the store would definately be open then, if not before. He tries the managers mobile- no answer. He calls the store- no answer.

He arrives 20 mins later. The customer is still waiting and the store is still closed. He gets his keys, opens the doors and (with the customer at his elbow) discovers his store manager and her boyfriend mid-scrabble, nude on the shop floor! :o
I don't know where everyone got the idea that life was meant to be fair, but they sure got a bad deal with that message. Once you know fairness is not required, is not compulsory, and in fact often has nothing to do with anything, you can get on with it.

JoW

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #46 on: February 19, 2010, 11:08:50 PM »
I worked for a major pharmaceutical manufacturing firm.  One of our products contained codeine, a very effective narcotic pain reliever.  It was delivered to our facility by armored car and armed guards.  We had very strict rules for handling it and storing it.  It was kept under lock and key at all times.

One of our employees got his hands on the form we used to order codeine.  He ordered some to be delivered to his home address.  The supplier noticed the new, unauthorized address and notified the Drug Enforcement Agency.  The delivery was made, but the delivery person was a DEA agent. 

I heard the employee got 15 years in federal prison. 

Nurvingiel

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #47 on: February 20, 2010, 12:17:14 AM »
I worked for a major pharmaceutical manufacturing firm.  One of our products contained codeine, a very effective narcotic pain reliever.  It was delivered to our facility by armored car and armed guards.  We had very strict rules for handling it and storing it.  It was kept under lock and key at all times.

One of our employees got his hands on the form we used to order codeine.  He ordered some to be delivered to his home address.  The supplier noticed the new, unauthorized address and notified the Drug Enforcement Agency.  The delivery was made, but the delivery person was a DEA agent. 

I heard the employee got 15 years in federal prison. 

</thread>

No one can top that!  :o
If I had some ham, I could have ham and eggs, if I had some eggs.

FunkyMunky

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #48 on: February 20, 2010, 12:45:26 AM »

No, can't top the codeine thief, but do have a stupid thief of our own.

We had a manual system for credit cards and EFTPOS - to be used only when the EFTPOS was down, but the power was on. All manual slips had to be tallied and accounted for so they could be processed. No cash withdrawals were permitted for manual debit.

Stupid Thief decides to serve himself (which was a fireable offence). Repeatedly. And on a manual form every time, which has his name, card details and signature on them. Oh, and give himself around $300 cash out every time (even though the maximum anyone could get was $50). Even better, when they went to process the vouchers, he had insufficient funds. I believe he was arrested and charged with theft as well as being fired.

Rosgrana

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #49 on: February 20, 2010, 06:07:41 AM »
I can't beat the codeine thief, so I'm going for the "Weirdest Thing Stolen" award.

One of my former colleagues stole... a parquet floor! One of our bulidings was being altered, and the lovely Victorian hardwood parquet had to be taken up. When the time came for it to be relaid, the storage area where the blocks had been placed was found to be empty. Investigations began (it was worth a lot), and several people reported that Manager Who Was Renovating Her House's husband had come in his van and carted it away - claiming that it was just going to be thrown in a skip and MWWRHH had been given permission to take it away and save on disposal costs.

Also. One quarter, phone bills were MUCH higher than usual, and the increase was all from Department X. When audit checked the itemised bills, they found that every day at lunchtime Department X's latest hire talked to her mother. On another continent. For an hour.

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #50 on: February 20, 2010, 03:37:41 PM »
My sister had another example from the bank she used to work at.  The auditor got a "hinky" feeling about one teller at one of the branches.  He didn't what she was doing or how, but he just had the unshakable feeling that something was going on.  So, a few weeks after the audit was supposedly over, he shows up in the afternoon, and he and the manager inform the teller that he is there to audit her drawer.  The teller manages to scribble a note and pass it to another teller: "You have got to give me $100 in quarters right away for my drawer!"  The other teller says no, and sets the note in her drawer.  After finishing with her customer, the second teller turns the note over to the manager.

So, after the audit is completed, the auditor informs the suspect that not only is her drawer short $100 in quarters, they have what amounts to a confession in writing from her.  It was one thing to steal, but she assumed that her coworkers would have no compunction about jumping in to save her when she was about to be caught.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #51 on: February 20, 2010, 05:26:23 PM »
Long ago, when e-mail was first being instituted at my organization, there was a training class to teach a few of my coworkers how to use it.

The instruction from the teacher was to send an e-mail one person to your left.  But one coworker sent it to the entire organization, including the mucky mucks, by mistake.  And it contained something referring to another coworker.  His name was Joe Huge (alias) and the message said something along the lines of 'You know how really huge Joe is.'

Joe was very quick on his feet when he realized what had happened and sent out another message, 'So, Jack.  Thanks for the testimonial.  How's that e-mail training going?'

As they went for a break later, Jack slinked around the halls, very uncharacteristically.  Meanwhile, Joe was shaking everyone's hand.  'Hi, I'm Huge, Joe Huge.'

It was legendary, for years!
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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Balletmom

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #52 on: February 20, 2010, 09:53:43 PM »
I love the Huge, Joe Huge story. That is truly legend-worthy.

We have a Veteran's Day performance at our school. The parents come at night, as well as invited guests who are veterans. It's always very moving.

One year, the music teacher sang a solo. Why she thought the parents and guests would want to hear her sing, as opposed to the children, I don't know. The worst thing, however, was that she couldn't sing. She was off pitch in the most agonizing way.

We all stared studiously at our shoes as the song dragged on. I knew if I even so much as looked at another colleague, I'd burst out laughing. One of my team members for the rest of the year started off every team meeting warbling the song as we all literally laughed til we cried.


A.P. Wulfric

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #53 on: February 20, 2010, 10:33:09 PM »
I once went to an educator's conference for a committee of which I was involved.  A parent on the committee also went.  At lunch, parent proceeded to tell me that she was planning on applying for a teaching position in the town where I worked and where her son was an elementary student.  We chatted for a bit about that, then moved on.

Out of the blue she asks me if I have read any good books. As an avid reader, I eagerly began to blab on about one.  To my surprise, she takes out a notepad and is jotting things down. Okay...maybe she likes recommendations.

No-she tells me that she has heard that principals like to ask the question "What's the last book you have read" and she doesn't read, so she wanted to have a book title and brief synopsis at the ready, and if a teacher read it, then it must be good enough to get her a job. 

She then proceded to rip apart some of my co-workers, including administrators, some of whom would be on her interview committee should she get that far.  She then complained that she heard that at the school she was applying for, they had to do a certain after school duty* 3 times a month and that she was a MOM and how could they ask that of her?


Probably not the thing she should be saying to an employee. 

*This duty was in the contract, so no controversy there.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #54 on: February 20, 2010, 10:55:31 PM »
Guy who was living in his company car.

Woman who was living in her office. She had convinced management that she needed 24/7 building access. She would leave at the usual quitting time, then return about 7 PM. She bathed and did laundry in the ladies room and had some sort of hot [late for cooking in her office, where she slept in a sleeping bag.

Guy who falsified his expense account. Including a trip he took with his boss. The same boss who had to approve the expense account and who knew how long the trip lasted, where they had stayed, and how much had been spent on meals.

My first job out of college was as an inspector for a government agency. The businesses we inspected tended to be operated by very conservative people. As I made my rounds, I kept hearing "I hope you are better than that blankety blank flute player."

Turned out my predecessor felt that he could not do a proper inspection until he had assess the "karma of the place." He would sit down in the middle of the business, assume a lotus position, and play the recorder. It didn't help that he also had an aversion to regular bathing.

Nutrax
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nutraxfornerves

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #55 on: February 20, 2010, 11:08:12 PM »
I managed to forget the best one.

Someone I know has a serious medical condition and needs assistance bathing, dressing, etc. He contracts with a caregiver agency. One paid caregiver in particular seems to be a good fit for him, so he requests her wherever possible.

Her job as a caregiver requires a state license. She is also setting up a childcare program in her home that will require licensing & a background check. She is not a US citizen, but is in the US legally and is in the process of obtaining citizenship. All of this means that she needs to be of impeccable character.

So, what does she do? Get hold of the man's checkbook and forge $20,000 worth of checks. Then branches out into credit card fraud with one of his cards.

As soon as it is discovered, she is fired from the agency. She is prosecuted and pleads guilty to a felony--financial abuse of a disabled adult. She loses her license as a caregiver. She will never be able to be licensed as childcare provider. She is deported due to a crime of "moral turpitude" and will never be allowed to get a visa to enter the US.

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

HonorH

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #56 on: February 20, 2010, 11:10:33 PM »
My first job out of college was as an inspector for a government agency. The businesses we inspected tended to be operated by very conservative people. As I made my rounds, I kept hearing "I hope you are better than that blankety blank flute player."

Turned out my predecessor felt that he could not do a proper inspection until he had assess the "karma of the place." He would sit down in the middle of the business, assume a lotus position, and play the recorder. It didn't help that he also had an aversion to regular bathing.

 :o Ooooookay!
William wondered why he always disliked people who said "no offense meant." Maybe it was because they found it easier to say "no offense meant" than actually to refrain from giving offense.

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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #57 on: February 20, 2010, 11:20:45 PM »

Guy who falsified his expense account. Including a trip he took with his boss. The same boss who had to approve the expense account and who knew how long the trip lasted, where they had stayed, and how much had been spent on meals.
 

Now THAT is totally clueless!
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

blue2000

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #58 on: February 21, 2010, 09:41:08 AM »
Second one - Every few years we get a new laptop and have to migrate all of our files and stuff over to the new one. Some departments have someone who can copy your drive. Rumor has it that one such department found a bunch of porn on someone's computer while doing the copying.

Several years ago I was doing graduate work in criminal investigations and computer forensics.  The head of the program asked if I'd come in on Saturday and work with her to assess several computers which had been passed to the program for use in the labs.  She was going to show me how to use some new tools for looking at *everything* on hard disks - including anything that had ever been there but erased.  We found more porn than I can ever describe here!  Also included were emails about infidelities, to lawyers, drug use, drinking problems, etc.  We laughed as we worked and wondered how anyone in that office found time to do any work!

This is also a good lesson about what you may put on your own hard drive!  A good investigator (or a clever 16 y.o.) can find stuff you thought was gone forever!

Here is a question for you, or anyone else who knows. If you reformat your computer, as in 'wipe the whole lot and start over' (not just hit delete) do those search methods still work? Is there any way at all to completely erase a computer?

Just wondering, because an an *ahem* gentleman of my acquaintance was arrested for a particularly horrible crime and is now in jail. He used to go on and on about wiping everything off his computer and reformatting "just in case". I'm wondering now if he had things in his files that would have incriminated him.


As for the Darwins, The one that always comes to mind is a young fellow who was playing with a bottle of lighter fluid in the back room. Nearly started the whole store on fire.

A manager noticed the smoke and went to see what was going on. Co-worker told him it was none of his business (seriously, he didn't even try to lie about it!). Manager was very young and new to the position, so he just made sure the fire was out and had a little chat with the owner the next day. When Co-worker showed up for his next shift, the police were waiting for him. We never saw him again.

Then there was the girl who had a fistfight with a customer in her first week of work. And the guy who didn't show up for three weeks (still employed, but just barely), several people who threatened the boss, and one who shoplifted his lunch ::). Come to think of it, I've worked with a lot of careless people.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Tia2

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #59 on: February 21, 2010, 10:09:11 AM »
I hope there is a way to get everything off the harddrive - I have recently changed computers and have a lot of banking information and personal documents on the harddrive of the old computer.  If I can't permanently erase data, that computer is not leaving my possession!