*One girl was overheard telling a customer "What do you want me to do, hold your hand?". Keep in mind this is a tech support help line.
Maybe she had one of the customers from Unsupportable:
My favorite Professional Darwinism story is a cautionary tale told to all ALTs entering Japan. Japan has very, extremely strict drug laws. Stuff that will get you a slap on the wrist in America will get you jail time in Japan. Every ALT from any country who enters Japan is informed of this and told not only to stay away from drugs yourself, but to steer clear of anyone you know is doing drugs, since you can and will be brought in for questioning simply for having in your cell phone the number of someone who got caught with drugs. You are lectured, you're told being caught with drugs (not even arrested) is grounds for immediate dismissal, you're made to sign a contract, etc. In other words, there's no shades of gray about it.
Yeah, well, one brilliant ALT decided to grow his own marijuana behind his apartment building. It got discovered by a little granny doing her gardening. He was arrested, thrown in jail, fired, and then deported. Hope the weed was worth it.
What's an ALT?
Assistant Language Teacher. Actual duties of the ALT range from walking, talking tape recorder to massively overworked, completely unqualified teacher. I was the latter. We had one of the former who got booted for drugs. He was a hiker so he started a good size grow-op half way up a decent sized mountain. Every weekend he would go "hiking" to tend to his crop. People lauded his energy and dedication to the sport until the police caught on. The Japanese government was content enough to deport him immediately rather than chuck him in prison for a few years. Once you get deported from Japan you are never allowed back so it was probably cheaper to deport him.
Other ALTs in another year chose their first
weekend in the country to get completely plastered and to cook up as much rice in oil as they could find and have a rice wrestling contest in front of all the rice farmer neighbours
. That little escapade garnered an official bowing on the floor apology at the prefectural board of education on Monday, and a good number of ALTs that weren't even at the stupid party were screamed at by their entire Japanese staff merely because they were ALTs from the same city.
The same merry bunch decided to conduct the first annual naked Olympics at 3am at the prefectural ALT meeting in a rather swanky hotel. I had earplugs in my ears and they woke me up, despite being two floors above me
. The sporting event was broken up by the Minister of Education.
The thing that finally got the morons fired was that they all went to Tokyo to party and got plastered (legal) and completely strung out on cocaine (definitely not legal). They didn't actually get caught in Tokyo, but they came back to the province and wrote all about it in great detail
in their blogs. The ministry of education reads our blogs. In Japan, actually being caught in the act is not required to be held accountable. Most were at least smart enough to leave under threat than to make the country actually deport them.Edited to fix weird italics problem