Author Topic: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74  (Read 1339442 times)

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mikeylou

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #390 on: March 09, 2010, 06:07:08 PM »
Hmmm.... Bob was off sick again today.  ::)  No FB updates though.  Gaming network must be working much better now...

Remember, FF13 came out last night.  He's probably got tendonitis... in his thumb.

libraryliz

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #391 on: March 09, 2010, 07:31:11 PM »
Hmmm.... Bob was off sick again today.  ::)  No FB updates though.  Gaming network must be working much better now...

We're taking bets on what the next excuse will be.  Here's the list so far:

1) "I had a bad dream..."
2) "It's a bad hair day..."
3) "My doctor said I have a severe case of halitosis and should stay home..."
4) "My karma is off..."

A few months ago I had a bad dream that resulted in me waking up screaming and shaking (scaring my apartment-mate and all the animals) and I couldn't get back to sleep.  So I only got about three hours of sleep and was in pretty bad shape the next day.  And yet I went to work...
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artisticgal

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #392 on: March 09, 2010, 10:14:22 PM »

 I work in an adult oriented kid friendly store, adults looking at clothes, with alot of kids running around. My (former) co-worker referred to kids as cr@tch fruit. Usually when she was off duty. Well, she slipped up one day and told a customer to "keep her bratty little cr@tch fruit from running around." The customer she said that too was our new DM. Co-worker was fired 2 days later.
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VorFemme

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #393 on: March 09, 2010, 10:27:36 PM »
It took two days?
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Animala

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #394 on: March 09, 2010, 10:32:38 PM »
Seriously surprised it took two days.

artisticgal

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #395 on: March 09, 2010, 11:02:28 PM »
The incident occured on Saturday. She got fired on Monday due to H.R. being closed on Saturday.
Wasabi is a spicy Japanese condiment best enjoyed with sushi, and never, repeat, never enjoyed alone.

Twik

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #396 on: March 09, 2010, 11:13:46 PM »
Hmmm.... Bob was off sick again today.  ::)  No FB updates though.  Gaming network must be working much better now...

We're taking bets on what the next excuse will be.  Here's the list so far:

1) "I had a bad dream..."
2) "It's a bad hair day..."
3) "My doctor said I have a severe case of halitosis and should stay home..."
4) "My karma is off..."

I ... what now? Seriously?

His *karma* is off? Gee, maybe I know why.
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WolfWay

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #397 on: March 10, 2010, 12:11:55 AM »

 I work in an adult oriented kid friendly store, adults looking at clothes, with alot of kids running around. My (former) co-worker referred to kids as cr@tch fruit. Usually when she was off duty. Well, she slipped up one day and told a customer to "keep her bratty little cr@tch fruit from running around." The customer she said that too was our new DM. Co-worker was fired 2 days later.
The only place I've actually seen that phrase used is on a movie review site called Pajiba. I wonder if the person who got fired was a Pajiba regular?
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Animala

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #398 on: March 10, 2010, 12:13:36 AM »
The incident occured on Saturday. She got fired on Monday due to H.R. being closed on Saturday.

Ah, I'm with you now.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #399 on: March 10, 2010, 03:07:34 AM »
A few from my time at a small (independent) bookstore in a mall:

(bg: The store had ~5 employees at any given time, but no manager.  The owner of the small chain lived in a city two hours away, near the flagship store, so he would come down on occasion but we were expected to work out the schedule ourselves.  I started working there a few weeks after it opened, so even though a few people technically had "seniority" I was pretty soon the most senior employee - which means I ended up as "acting manager", doing all the manager stuff but not getting paid extra for it.)

1) Ke'Asia - one of a string of short-lived hires.  The owner felt it was important to have at least one African-American employee because my city has a fairly large African-American demographic and we white folk don't read enough books by African-American authors to really be able to give heartfelt recommendations.  (He may have a point, but I purposely pushed myself to read things outside my regular genres so I would be able to recommend things.  I think I was the only one, though.)  Ke'Asia made it very clear that she expected this to be an easy job.  She painted her nails at the counter.  She dragged a folding chair out from the stock room so she could sit behind the counter (we didn't have a stool as it "doesn't look professional") and put her stockinged feet up on the counter, yakking on her cell phone.  She chewed gum at work and gave customers blank stares when they tried to ask questions.  And if they asked her for recommendations, she said "I don't know; I don't read much."  (Funny, that's not what she said on her application!)  Unfortunately, since the owner wasn't at the store that often, it took a month or two for her to get fired.

2) After about eight months with no manager, the owner suddenly decided that one of us should be promoted.  For no apparent reason (since I was the one already doing the interviews, scheduling, store newsletter, and all the other manager stuff), he promoted Tim.  Tim had been the manager of a shoe store previously, so I guess that's why.  After about a week of being "manager," Tim didn't show up one Thursday.  He stopped answering his phone, too.  He didn't show up Friday either - but his sister did.  She was in town on business and had stopped in to surprise him.  We said he hadn't shown up for two days and we were getting worried - but she was able to pull out her phone and call him right there, standing in the store, so he was clearly just screening his calls.  She wandered out while talking to him, so I never got to hear what was going on.  The third day - Saturday, the busiest day for mall retail - he finally called and said he was quitting.  Thanks, but now I'm stuck working a whole Saturday by myself.  Luckily I was able to reach the owner who came down and helped out for the later part of the day.

3) Byron was a nice guy, but didn't particularly like working.  It started out with his lunch breaks getting longer and longer, then frequent smoke breaks, then frequent smoke breaks on our back stairs (a hallway connected the stockrooms of all the stores on our side of the mall, and we were on the end of the second floor, so the stairs were right outside our stockroom door.  The whole mall was non-smoking, but the hallway reeked of smoke and he left butts all over the stairs).  Then "shopping breaks," when he'd just wander out of the store and peruse the mall for an hour or so.  (Only when we weren't busy, so apparently that made it okay.)

One particular week, he asked if I could cover his Monday shift because he was planning to go see his parents that weekend (~4 hours away) and he wanted to take an extra day.  Since this was a small store, we had only one or two employees working at a time - one person did 9:30 AM - 5 PM, and the other person did 1 PM - 9:30 PM.  The first person got lunch when the second person came in, and the second person got dinner right before the first one left.  I was already working the 9:30-5 shift, so I told him I couldn't cover for him and he should ask someone else.  "Oh, but [Employee A] said she can't do Mondays because of class, [Employee B] is at his other job, and [Employee C] has to be at some church thing!"  (Guess you can't go this weekend then, huh?)

Sunday afternoon, I found a message on my home answering machine - "I decided to stay the night at my parents' house anyway - can you see if anyone will cover for me?"  I have no way to do anything about this, so I just ignore it (but save the message).  Sure enough, the next morning, I get a call from the owner - Byron called in sick that morning, so could I please call the other three employees and see if anyone would cover for him?  Being a wuss, I said yes, and called around (with the predictable results).  But I finally got my spine up enough to call the owner back and say "Nobody can work, they all said that to Byron last week, and Byron isn't sick, he's in OtherTown visiting his parents and wanted to stay an extra day.  He left a message on my answering machine about it."  The owner wasn't able to come down to MyTown on such short notice, so I had to stay for a twelve-hour shift with no breaks.  Luckily DH was able to come bring me a sandwich when he got off of work  ::)  Byron was "asked to resign" a few days later.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2010, 03:09:38 AM by Slartibartfast »

WolfWay

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #400 on: March 10, 2010, 04:52:56 AM »
One of the candidates for a position at our company just did a pre-emptive strike of Darwinism.

Interview question: Do you have any hobbies?
Candidate: Drinking.

Um.. yeah. Did not get hired. (Thank cthulhu).
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

hobish

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #401 on: March 10, 2010, 05:18:03 AM »
One of the candidates for a position at our company just did a pre-emptive strike of Darwinism.

Interview question: Do you have any hobbies?
Candidate: Drinking.

Um.. yeah. Did not get hired. (Thank cthulhu).


Jeez, well, they could have at least followed up with dancing and fighting and why they like doing it.

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MissRose

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #402 on: March 10, 2010, 05:26:26 AM »
Another one from my place I heard recently...

A guy who worked 3rd shift used to remote into his home computer from work to play World Of Warcraft...

Lets just say he has plenty of time on his hands to play the game now....

mechtilde

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #403 on: March 10, 2010, 06:31:12 AM »
One of the big supermarkets here now has a policy of not paying for the first day's sick leave you take and needing a doctor's note for more than 2 days.  That way the skivers who suddenly get ill about 3 mins before they need to get out of bed on a Monday morning are incentivised to make the effort.  Genuinely ill people are not affected as they are able to get a sick note to cover it.  There was outrage when they introduced it but their adbsenteeism has reduced significantly.

Bet their absentee rate increases drastically during flu season, when people who are technically too sick to work but can't afford to lose a day's pay drag in.

A few employers have tried that here- they soon stopped when the bills for private sicknotes arrived!
NE England

PeterM

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Re: Professional Darwinism
« Reply #404 on: March 10, 2010, 02:18:17 PM »
We're taking bets on what the next excuse will be.  Here's the list so far:

1) "I had a bad dream..."
2) "It's a bad hair day..."
3) "My doctor said I have a severe case of halitosis and should stay home..."
4) "My karma is off..."

My personal favorite is from one of my idols, Wally from Dilbert. He asked if he could go home due to some sort of shampoo related problem.

"I lathered and rinsed, but I can't remember if I repeated..."