Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74

[LazyDaisy]

My guess is that she has picked up a second job and has been assigned conflicting shifts -- she is choosing the one most profitable for her. Many food servers I know work at other places to pick up extra shifts.

[doodlemor]

Getting back on topic, I think one of my co-workers is heading for a bit of Professional Darwinism!

She works as a waitress Thursday lunchtime, and Friday/Saturday/Sunday evenings. The evenings don't seem to be a problem for her, but every single Thursday for the past month, she's had some excuse why she couldn't come in. Car trouble, a sick dog, the flu, and a burst pipe in her house. Strangely, none of these things have been an issue the following evening.

She hasn't been reprimanded really yet, because the boss is a bit of a softie and he likes her, but I can't see it going on much longer without something happening.

However, on a lighter note, it has led to a lot of us musing on what she's doing with those extra four hours!

Maybe she's living with someone who has Thursdays off, or if she has children maybe her sitter can't work on Thursdays.

Why don't you think up a reason why you need to call her on a Thursday, and see how long before she answers, and what sort of background noises you hear?  Guess I'm a natural born snoop!

Just read LazyDaisy's post - I bet that is what has happened.

[Outdoor Girl]

What I don't get is why she hasn't gone to management and said, 'Here's the deal.  I got a second job to make ends meet and I have to work there on Thursdays.  (Or:  my new boyfriend has asked me to watch his children during the day, including Thursdays.  Or whatever the reason Thursdays no longer work).  Is there any way we can adjust the schedule so I'm not working Thursday lunch hour?  I can work [these times], instead.

To just not show up and/or call in with increasingly implausible explanations is just dumb.  (And hence, PD.)

[LazyDaisy]

What I don't get is why she hasn't gone to management and said, 'Here's the deal.  I got a second job to make ends meet and I have to work there on Thursdays.  (Or:  my new boyfriend has asked me to watch his children during the day, including Thursdays.  Or whatever the reason Thursdays no longer work).  Is there any way we can adjust the schedule so I'm not working Thursday lunch hour?  I can work [these times], instead.

To just not show up and/or call in with increasingly implausible explanations is just dumb.  (And hence, PD.)

I agree, that would be the reasonable thing to do. I don't know the employers policy regarding second jobs but I've had bosses that state right at hire that they will not allow an employee's second job to interfere with scheduling -- it's grounds for termination. Faithlessone's coworker may be stalling for time -- calling out repeatedly hasn't gotten her terminated (so far) but clueing her boss in that she has another job that she's giving preference to might.

[Shalamar]

Back when I was a contractor, I had a co-worker who worked pretty much whatever hours he felt like working.  In fairness, he was working a full eight-hour day - but if he decided to come in at 11:00 a.m. and work until 7:00 p.m., he figured that was fine.   The client didn't agree, and that was bad enough - but when he decided to bring his Xbox into the office and start playing a game at 2:00 p.m. (because, for him, THAT was lunchtime), they really objected.

Then his extra-curricular activities began.  Despite being newly married with a baby on the way, he because obsessed with a Gentlemen's Club that was close to the office, and he often went there after work.  Fine, except that he was always yelling around the office to see who wanted to join him, saying (very loudly) that he NEEEEEEEDED A LAAAAP DAAAAANCE!

He was laid off a few months later.

[mbbored]

The mail topic on the Exchanges that Make Your Brain Hurt thread reminded me of something that I witnessed.

A few years ago, I had a problem where the mail would only be delivered or picked up a few days a week. Then I started getting a bunch of misdelivered mail, addressed to a bunch of different houses in my neighborhood and included magazines, bills and personal mail. I would put return to sender or forward to, but within a few weeks, that stopped being picked up. Finally, one day I marched into the post office demanding to see the highest ranking supervisor there. I explained everything then handed him 2 tote bags full of misdirected mail. He was appropriately horrified and called me back that afternoon to explain that the mailman for my neighborhood was spending most of his days playing hooky then rushing to deliver the mail every once in a while. Eventually he gave up on properly delivering the mail and wouldn't pick up the misdelivered stuff so nobody could figure out he wasn't doing his job. Not surprisingly the mailman got fired. The nice thing was that the supervisor periodically called me for the next few months to make sure that the new mail-person was working out.

The craziest thing to me is the fact that I'm the only one who apparently complained.

[Hollanda]

Co worker. The one who has been "off sick" more than she's been at work...no underlying medical conditions. Just constantly off sick. She sprained her wrist last year and was off sick for two whole months. To put that in perspective, a friend of mine broke her arm in a nasty fall and was off for three weeks.  This co worker has been doing this for five years. We're all sick of it, as she was getting away with having three months off sick a year and seemingly nothing was happening. Anyway...things were happening. Our boss had started stage 3 capability procedure with her. In our meeting last week our boss explained she had handed in her notice. We were all mortified when co worker started crying in front of us. This was the bit none of us understand...boss basically pressured co worker to tell us why! Uncomfortable and awkward. She said (co worker not boss) that it was a lesson to us all about being off sick. Um no, it was a lesson about taking the mickey.

This woman is not pleasant to be around. I deleted her from Facebook when it became clear to me that there was nothing wrong with her. She'd post statuses about what she'd done over the weekend and then just not turn up on Monday. She would have different stories for different people. None of us knew what to believe.

[Amara]

CatFanatic posted this on another thread but rather than derail that one, I decided to copy it here. (Many thanks to CatFanatic; your story made me remember mine.)


Naturally, my job means I'm not unbiased, but the whole 'I'm-paying-your-salary-so-you-better-jump' attitude towards university staff (or anyone, really) grinds my gears. I've only experienced it occasionally myself, but I have had students who are sugary sweet to me but snotty and dismissive to our admin and tech staff. Beyond the rudeness, it gets back to the academics, and it doesn't bode well for you if you are looking for a recommendation. If you have straight A's but you treat those you deem your 'employees' like garbage, how are you going to manage in the professional world?


I was responsible for the skills testing for the EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) program at the college. The class was offered twice a year, and the students had to pass their final, then sign up and pay for the skills testing, and if they passed both they could take the written examination through the National Registry.

When I came into the position that included this responsibility it was a mess. It took me several years to perfect the process but I did. There were two separate in-class presentations, and paperwork for each one. I was very careful to make it as easy as I could, and I am proud to say it worked very well for most students.

Of course, most is not "every." There were always one or two students each time who had whiny excuses or other issues. But my deadlines were inflexible; they had to be to accommodate testing nearly 100 students each time according to rigorous guidelines.

The one CatFanatic reminded me of was a guy who thought I wasn't worthy of any respect as an admin. He sent me a nasty e-mail including, among other comments, one accusing me of something I can't remember now. I responded professionally, copying my dean on it (in case he went higher), and I also sent a copy to the instructor, with whom I had worked for several years.

Said instructor was a chief in the fire department, a big man both professionally and literally. He was nice as all get out, but didn't brook any BS. He asked me if the guy had ever apologized. I told him no. So he waited until the day of the exam, when the student brought his paper up to turn it in. Chris asked the student if he had written that e-mail to me. The student said yes. Then Chris looked him in the eye and said, "Don't ever ask me for any favors." The student hung his head and slunk out. He did pass the final, but he forfeited a connection with someone who could have done a lot of help him.

[Iris]

^Reminds me of students who think they can be disrespectful to Teacher's Aides because they have less authority than the teacher. They very quickly learn that in MY classroom (and most teacher's) they won't get away with that kind of behaviour to someone who does a much harder job than me for much less pay than me. Or kids who leave litter on the ground because "That's what cleaners are for, anyway." Grrrrrrrrrrr.

[SoCalVal]

I do have candidates who phone up and say they are calling to "schedule an interview", which always amuses me.  When I have 200 applicants for a role there's no way I'm going to spend time interviewing all of them - there will be significant shortlisting based on their CVs & covering letters, followed by a further phone screen cull, and then a handful will get an interview.     But some people seem to think it's a given that they should get a "shot" at interviewing.... even if it's wasting both of our time!  Yeah that's not going to happen.  It's just not efficient or productive.

A recently licensed applicant did that the other day.  She called our main line and said she'd applied for a position but had not yet heard from us so she was calling to schedule her interview.  Given that she would've had to interview to get into grad school, I was really surprised that she believed the working world operates like that -- that she could just call and demand an interview.  I really burst her bubble when I explained to her that WE would contact HER *if* we deemed she was qualified for the position for which she applied.  She seemed so dumbfounded that she was struck silent (before that she'd been really aggressive and demanding with me).

Recent PD's --

We've had more than one newly hired employee lie in his/her interview in order to get hired.  One of these individuals has been messing up left and right and has only been employed with us a few months.  We got the okay recently to give that person the boot.  I and the management team are very excited about this.

Another person determined that it was perfectly acceptable to play a practical joke of the scrabble harassment sort on another coworker and then lie when the coworker filed a complaint about it.  We got the okay to give that person the boot also.

In both of these cases, I am not at all sorry to see these individuals go.  They've been one headache after another.  I'd provide more details but am afraid that someone might be able to identify the individuals in question.  As a Christian, I feel like I should feel bad these individuals are losing their jobs, but I feel not a single bit of remorse.  Both of them well made these beds of theirs, and I will dance a dance of utter glee in my head when each one leaves.

[Sara Crewe]

A recently licensed applicant did that the other day.  She called our main line and said she'd applied for a position but had not yet heard from us so she was calling to schedule her interview.  Given that she would've had to interview to get into grad school, I was really surprised that she believed the working world operates like that -- that she could just call and demand an interview.  I really burst her bubble when I explained to her that WE would contact HER *if* we deemed she was qualified for the position for which she applied.  She seemed so dumbfounded that she was struck silent (before that she'd been really aggressive and demanding with me).

I figure one of two things was going on here - there are unfortunately some (really bad) job seeking books and blogs that advise this - they say it shows confidence and initiative (as opposed to really annoying the interviewer).

Alternatively, a lot of universities/grad schools interview everyone who meets the written criteria (which can be done with 5/10 applicants per place in an academic setting), so maybe she genuinely thought you'd be interviewing everyone who had the proper paper qualifications.

[Kaora]

The kicker is that his last name was the same as mine, and it's a fairly uncommon name.  I got SO fed up with people asking "Are you and Jerk related?"  "NO!"

Only in insanity? 

[Shalamar]

Hee hee.  I have never yelled at anyone in Roumanian.   English, however ...

[eltf177]

I've really been enjoying this thread!

Although I have no interesting story of my own I am enclosing a link to one of the first stories I ever read here, and still one of my favorites. I think you'll agree this is very much PD.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=4104.0

I've always hoped for an update from the OP saying how Mr. Connie's career took a nose-dive after this dinner party...

[doodlemor]

I've really been enjoying this thread!

Although I have no interesting story of my own I am enclosing a link to one of the first stories I ever read here, and still one of my favorites. I think you'll agree this is very much PD.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=4104.0

I've always hoped for an update from the OP saying how Mr. Connie's career took a nose-dive after this dinner party...

Thanks so much, eltf177!  That is one of my favorites, too, and hadn't read it for a long time. 

I also wondered whether there were repercussions concerning Mr.  Connie's career.