News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • October 23, 2017, 07:32:43 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74  (Read 3624492 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Shalamar

  • Member
  • Posts: 300
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3900 on: June 13, 2013, 08:58:04 AM »
I have an MBA!  You mean that I could have had people calling me Mistress Shalamar all these years?

... then again, that implies a certain "profession" that I'm not part of.

TurtleDove

  • Member
  • Posts: 7211
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3901 on: June 13, 2013, 10:20:02 AM »
So does this mean when I complete my MBA in a couple months, it's not okay for me to insist everyone call me Master?

 ;) I am about to marry a pastor, and we met with a realtor last night who is one of his parishoners.  She asked if it was okay if she continued to call him "Pastor" when working together.  He said that was fine, though his first name is also fine, and then I insisted that she refer to me as "Majesty," you know, because I am the mother of my DD, who fancies herself a princess.

Nikko-chan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3349
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3902 on: June 13, 2013, 10:42:02 AM »
I never knew my father even had a doctorate until I was an adult, and never knew he was head of the lab he worked in until his funeral, when so many of his former employees came up to tell me what a good boss he was :(.

Your father: He was doing it right.

Well... I have to disagree, sadly.  A person not knowing major details (education, profession details) about a parent speaks volumes (pardon the pun) about a lack of communication.

I meant he was doing it right in not telling everyone about it, though I agree he should have told his children.

mmswm

  • Member
  • Posts: 2192
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3903 on: June 13, 2013, 11:10:07 AM »
So does this mean when I complete my MBA in a couple months, it's not okay for me to insist everyone call me Master?

I have a MSc and my official job title is "Master" ;)

No, I'm no kidding. It's supposed to be short for Master Specialist, but it honestly is just "Master".

Considering I have, on occasion, made my children call me "Great Creator" I really can't see why you would pass up the opportunity to be called Master. At least occasionally. For fun. You know you want to... >:D

This is the most awesome thing I've heard in months.  Do you mind if I steal it?  Also, since I have a masters in mathematics, is it okay to insist on being called "Master" as well?  The difference these things could make in my life...
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

VorFemme

  • Member
  • Posts: 13769
  • It's too darned hot! (song from Kiss Me, Kate)
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3904 on: June 13, 2013, 11:49:24 AM »
So does this mean when I complete my MBA in a couple months, it's not okay for me to insist everyone call me Master?

I have a MSc and my official job title is "Master" ;)

No, I'm no kidding. It's supposed to be short for Master Specialist, but it honestly is just "Master".

Considering I have, on occasion, made my children call me "Great Creator" I really can't see why you would pass up the opportunity to be called Master. At least occasionally. For fun. You know you want to... >:D

This is the most awesome thing I've heard in months.  Do you mind if I steal it?  Also, since I have a masters in mathematics, is it okay to insist on being called "Master" as well?  The difference these things could make in my life...

Mistress of Math?  Mistress of Mathematics? 

Or if you are male - Master of Mathematics. 

Get a long black scarf with white numerals and various mathematical signs knitted (or crocheted) into it.  Or printed, if it is fleece.  I've seen something similar with ABCs and 123s for back to school.  I wonder if there is a more academically advanced version?
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Grancalla

  • Member
  • Posts: 95
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3905 on: June 13, 2013, 01:55:32 PM »
I never knew my father even had a doctorate until I was an adult, and never knew he was head of the lab he worked in until his funeral, when so many of his former employees came up to tell me what a good boss he was :(.

Your father: He was doing it right.

Well... I have to disagree, sadly.  A person not knowing major details (education, profession details) about a parent speaks volumes (pardon the pun) about a lack of communication.

I meant he was doing it right in not telling everyone about it, though I agree he should have told his children.

I'll go ahead and ask, because it bothers me. Why is "telling everyone about it" bad?
It's bizarre to me that so many think simply using a title that one worked for and legitimately earned is bad etiquette (not to mention the catty PhDs-aren't-that-smart-anyway sniping later in the thread. Really? On an etiquette board?). I've seen this attitude come out just about any time PhDs, among other things, are mentioned. The consensus seems to be that we're* not allowed to even mention our accomplishments because that's "bragging" and people who haven't done the same might feel baaaad about themselves, and I don't understand the thought process behind that.




*Technically, it's not "we", yet, but I'm working on it.
My gallery

I sell art and crafty things! Linky

Mulegirl

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3906 on: June 13, 2013, 02:41:58 PM »
I never knew my father even had a doctorate until I was an adult, and never knew he was head of the lab he worked in until his funeral, when so many of his former employees came up to tell me what a good boss he was :(.

Your father: He was doing it right.

Well... I have to disagree, sadly.  A person not knowing major details (education, profession details) about a parent speaks volumes (pardon the pun) about a lack of communication.

I meant he was doing it right in not telling everyone about it, though I agree he should have told his children.

I'll go ahead and ask, because it bothers me. Why is "telling everyone about it" bad?
It's bizarre to me that so many think simply using a title that one worked for and legitimately earned is bad etiquette (not to mention the catty PhDs-aren't-that-smart-anyway sniping later in the thread. Really? On an etiquette board?). I've seen this attitude come out just about any time PhDs, among other things, are mentioned. The consensus seems to be that we're* not allowed to even mention our accomplishments because that's "bragging" and people who haven't done the same might feel baaaad about themselves, and I don't understand the thought process behind that.




*Technically, it's not "we", yet, but I'm working on it.

My feeling is that in any type of social circumstance where most of the folk are being called by their first name, calling oneself a doctor is very off putting.  When everyone is using their title, or in a setup where the use of Dr is appropriate, as in Dr's office or class room then time to use it.

I really dislike having someone introduce themselves as Dr. _ at a party.  Of course it has backfired on at least one person when we all reintroduced ourselves using our correct titles.

Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Member
  • Posts: 10073
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3907 on: June 13, 2013, 02:48:18 PM »
I'll go ahead and ask, because it bothers me. Why is "telling everyone about it" bad?
It's bizarre to me that so many think simply using a title that one worked for and legitimately earned is bad etiquette (not to mention the catty PhDs-aren't-that-smart-anyway sniping later in the thread. Really? On an etiquette board?). I've seen this attitude come out just about any time PhDs, among other things, are mentioned. The consensus seems to be that we're* not allowed to even mention our accomplishments because that's "bragging" and people who haven't done the same might feel baaaad about themselves, and I don't understand the thought process behind that.

*Technically, it's not "we", yet, but I'm working on it.


A professor who wants to be called, "Dr. Martin" by their students? No problem. Mentioning your degree when it's relevent? No problem. Demanding that everyone you meet, including the cashier at the gas station, call you Doctor? Rude, whether you're an MD or a PhD.

If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

Grancalla

  • Member
  • Posts: 95
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3908 on: June 13, 2013, 03:31:53 PM »
I'll go ahead and ask, because it bothers me. Why is "telling everyone about it" bad?
It's bizarre to me that so many think simply using a title that one worked for and legitimately earned is bad etiquette (not to mention the catty PhDs-aren't-that-smart-anyway sniping later in the thread. Really? On an etiquette board?). I've seen this attitude come out just about any time PhDs, among other things, are mentioned. The consensus seems to be that we're* not allowed to even mention our accomplishments because that's "bragging" and people who haven't done the same might feel baaaad about themselves, and I don't understand the thought process behind that.

*Technically, it's not "we", yet, but I'm working on it.


A professor who wants to be called, "Dr. Martin" by their students? No problem. Mentioning your degree when it's relevent? No problem. Demanding that everyone you meet, including the cashier at the gas station, call you Doctor? Rude, whether you're an MD or a PhD.

Why, though? That's what I don't get. How is Dr any different from Mrs or Mr? Why is it fine to introduce myself as Ms. Grancalla, but introducing myself as Dr. Grancalla makes me rude/demanding/SS? It makes no sense to me.
Also, who gets to decide when it's "relevant"? By the time I'm done with my degree, I will have spent a rather sizable chunk of my life on it. That makes it a very relevant part of my identity, as far as I'm concerned, and not just in a professional context. If we go by the same logic, calling yourself Mrs. Smith is only polite in situations relevant to marriage

(People will probably say they only meant people who pull the how-dare-you-not-call-me-Dr-even-though-there's-no-way-you-would-have-known-about-it BS, but if you look at previous threads, you'll see it's not limited to that. Even something as simple as: "Is it Ms or Mrs. Smith?" "It's Dr. Smith, actually" gets people called SS.)
My gallery

I sell art and crafty things! Linky

TurtleDove

  • Member
  • Posts: 7211
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3909 on: June 13, 2013, 03:55:01 PM »
I see what you are saying, Grancalla. To me it is equally weird to use "Mrs. Dove" in casual socializing.

Iris

  • Member
  • Posts: 3252
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3910 on: June 13, 2013, 04:00:11 PM »
So does this mean when I complete my MBA in a couple months, it's not okay for me to insist everyone call me Master?

I have a MSc and my official job title is "Master" ;)

No, I'm no kidding. It's supposed to be short for Master Specialist, but it honestly is just "Master".

Considering I have, on occasion, made my children call me "Great Creator" I really can't see why you would pass up the opportunity to be called Master. At least occasionally. For fun. You know you want to... >:D

This is the most awesome thing I've heard in months.  Do you mind if I steal it?  Also, since I have a masters in mathematics, is it okay to insist on being called "Master" as well?  The difference these things could make in my life...

Go right ahead. :) I also like the full "Master of Mathematics". It sounds so much more impressive than just plain "Master". And I agree that it needs an outfit as well. Of course since I have a plain old bachelor's degree in mathematics I probably should bow or something...
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Nikko-chan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3349
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3911 on: June 13, 2013, 04:33:10 PM »
I'll go ahead and ask, because it bothers me. Why is "telling everyone about it" bad?
It's bizarre to me that so many think simply using a title that one worked for and legitimately earned is bad etiquette (not to mention the catty PhDs-aren't-that-smart-anyway sniping later in the thread. Really? On an etiquette board?). I've seen this attitude come out just about any time PhDs, among other things, are mentioned. The consensus seems to be that we're* not allowed to even mention our accomplishments because that's "bragging" and people who haven't done the same might feel baaaad about themselves, and I don't understand the thought process behind that.

*Technically, it's not "we", yet, but I'm working on it.


A professor who wants to be called, "Dr. Martin" by their students? No problem. Mentioning your degree when it's relevent? No problem. Demanding that everyone you meet, including the cashier at the gas station, call you Doctor? Rude, whether you're an MD or a PhD.

That... though I might not call it rude per se... a little... off maybe?

I think it feels a little off to me because if you are at a party or whatever and you say "Hi I'm Doctor Martin" people might look at you funny, but if you say "Hi I'm June." you're fine, because saying "Hi I'm Doctor Martin" kinda elevates you above everyone else, if that makes sense?

*inviteseller

  • Member
  • Posts: 1771
  • I am Queen Mommy
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3912 on: June 13, 2013, 04:34:47 PM »
I saw the video of the woman having the epic meltdown in Dunkin Donuts this morning and my jaw is still on the floor!  The fact that she made the decision to film herself threatening these poor minimum wage employees over a receipt made my brain hurt.  I loveloveloved it when the employees just ignored her and her temper tantrum, even when she got vile and made racist comments.  And she told her attorney?  Did she tell him she was going to attempt to get herself arrested for disorderly conduct?  If I was an employee there I would have called the police ASAP!

artk2002

  • Member
  • Posts: 13811
    • The Delian's Commonwealth
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3913 on: June 13, 2013, 04:35:20 PM »
ough? That's what I don't get. How is Dr any different from Mrs or Mr? Why is it fine to introduce myself as Ms. Grancalla, but introducing myself as Dr. Grancalla makes me rude/demanding/SS? It makes no sense to me.

Why? Because it's pretentious. It's insisting on a hierarchy where it isn't relevant. In a casual interaction, say with a clerk, it's extremely inappropriate and speaks volumes about the insecurity of the person insisting on it. Someone needing to have a store clerk acknowledge their academic achievement is in need of some help (and a big dose of humility.)

Ms. Grancalla is a social peer to Miss Demeanor, Mrs. Steak and Mr. Roberts; those titles don't denote much beyond gender and possibly marital status. In a social situation, that's appropriate. With a doctorate, you may be my superior in your field (I lack any advanced degree) but when we are meeting in a social situation, that superiority isn't relevant and shouldn't be insisted upon.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Hillia

  • Member
  • Posts: 3356
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #3914 on: June 13, 2013, 04:39:45 PM »
I saw the video of the woman having the epic meltdown in Dunkin Donuts this morning and my jaw is still on the floor!  The fact that she made the decision to film herself threatening these poor minimum wage employees over a receipt made my brain hurt.  I loveloveloved it when the employees just ignored her and her temper tantrum, even when she got vile and made racist comments.  And she told her attorney?  Did she tell him she was going to attempt to get herself arrested for disorderly conduct?  If I was an employee there I would have called the police ASAP!
[/quote

I have read that there's a website raising money for the two employees as an apology from the non-racist idiots of the world.