Author Topic: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74  (Read 1420301 times)

1 Member and 5 Guests are viewing this topic.

Wulfie

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2622
  • I'm so pretty! Oh so pretty! - Morgan the Cat
    • Unique Weddings for Unique Couples
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4695 on: October 09, 2013, 03:22:48 PM »
Ahhh, you met my step sister!  Seriously, after her son was born her husband went off the deep end and was beating her (or threatening to, not sure which) My Dad has no qualms about going over, taking her and the baby back to his house and paid for her to divorce the lowlife.   Since then, I believe she has lived on her own less than 2 years total (2-3 short spurts, always moved back home) Her son graduated from High School last June.

Gee and they wonder why I rarely go visit.

I'm sure I must be confused here. You don't visit your father and stepsister because she was being abused and your father helped her out?
[/quote]

No, because once she moved home with them she saps off of them and expected them to raise her son. She has lived with them and they have supported her for nearly 18 years. The only times she has moved out was when she moved in with a boyfriend. Once she figured out that they expected her to be an adult, she broke up with them and moved back with Dad and my step mom. It is hard to watch because even when the rest of the family has tried to intervene she starts the waterworks about how hard it is to support a child and how we don't understand.

I know that Dad and SM are letting her be this way but it is not something I can stand seeing.

Snooks

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2512
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4696 on: October 09, 2013, 03:35:41 PM »
Snooks,

It almost sounds like she doesn't want "her little girls" to grow up and leave the nest.  I've met parents like this.  Heck, my beloved BIL would prefer that his daughter's not leave his home until they marry.  The oldest is in her early 30s and the youngest is in her late 20s.  He doesn't charge them anything for room and board, provides cars with insurance to them at no cost (he even pays for the gas), etc.  Plus, he doesn't try to control them with the purse strings, so he's likely to get his wish.  They are smart girls; Why would they leave such a cozy nest?  I can't imagine why a scout leader would not want her scouts to move up to the next level.  Doesn't she have more young girls coming in?  Does she like the older girls more?  How can she lead both her current group of young girls AND an older group of "helpers"?  Does she have no other commitments in her life?  Or is she just an exceedingly controlling person?  If so, I would think the older girls would be happy to move up to the next level with increased independence appropriate to that age group.

Good luck,
MK

She does have younger girls coming in, hence why she needs all the "helpers".  I once asked one of them how they "help" she said they do the washing up after the drinks.  The leader claims they pair up and help with a patrol each.  I suspect the truth is somewhere between the two.  I can't do anything to force them, she needs to gently nudge them towards us but she won't.  There used to be a regulation about how many "helpers" they could have but it seems to have disappeared out of the guidelines so senior people can't do much either.

Shalamar

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1279
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4697 on: October 09, 2013, 05:09:04 PM »
I have a friend who used to share an apartment with a roommate.  Roommate got a girlfriend and moved in with her, leaving my friend roommate-less.  He couldn't afford the rent on his own, so rather than find a new roommate or a cheaper apartment, he moved back in with his mum.  He was over 40 at the time and earning a decent salary (decent enough to be able to go on an expensive vacation every other year, anyway).   ???

Back to PD:  I have a co-worker who may not be committing PD, but he's not helping himself,  either.  He has a tendency to ask a question and then, while I'm answering it, interrupt with an impatient "I know that."  The next time he does that, I'm very tempted to say sweetly "Well, Co-worker, since you seem to know everything, there's no need for me to answer your question."


goldilocks

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 846
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4698 on: October 09, 2013, 05:33:59 PM »
One of my friends attempted to commit PD for her husband.   Fortunately she told me her plans first and I was able to stop her!

Husband had a job with the company of Top Manager.   His bonus for being top manager was $100 per quarter (just an example, I don't really know what it was).  AFter the end of the quarter, he asked to be demoted to Less than Top Manager, which had a bonus of $50 per quarter.   So, when his bonus came, (for the quarter in which he was Top Manager), it was only $50.

Friend was highly irate and was going to call his boss and complain.  I managed to stop her before she completely ruined her husbands career, as well as make him the laughinstock of the company.

andi

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1797
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4699 on: October 09, 2013, 08:01:09 PM »
This just happened at my store - we hired a person who wanted a job with us because the hours were flexible and there was growth potential of you worked hard. He had a new family and the job security with us was better than his part time gig.  Well- he calls in one night and tells his department manager "I can't come in tonight, my other job called and I can make double there than I can here".

Manager told him he needed to talk to him next time he came in.  Never came back.

MissRose

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2949
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4700 on: October 10, 2013, 08:05:12 AM »
I've met a woman who finally moved out of the family home and got a job AFTER her father died (older parents when they had an only child, I think).  Never seriously dated, from what she's said.  She was in her late thirties or early forties when Daddy passed away...no job, no schooling since high school, and no experience in running her own life. 

Makes you want to go back in time and shake some sense into her parents...or encourage her to step out on her own twenty-odd years earlier...

One of my long time friends has never married and never lived anywhere but with her parents.  She has been always been employed, and contributed to the household in terms of chores & paying the bills. Her parents are now deceased, and she lives on her own, still employed.  Her parents would have allowed her to move but they had a very good relationship.  I never heard her talk bad about her parents, and I did meet them when they were alive - both very good people.


VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13154
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4701 on: October 10, 2013, 11:16:58 AM »
I've met a woman who finally moved out of the family home and got a job AFTER her father died (older parents when they had an only child, I think).  Never seriously dated, from what she's said.  She was in her late thirties or early forties when Daddy passed away...no job, no schooling since high school, and no experience in running her own life. 

Makes you want to go back in time and shake some sense into her parents...or encourage her to step out on her own twenty-odd years earlier...

One of my long time friends has never married and never lived anywhere but with her parents.  She has been always been employed, and contributed to the household in terms of chores & paying the bills. Her parents are now deceased, and she lives on her own, still employed.  Her parents would have allowed her to move but they had a very good relationship.  I never heard her talk bad about her parents, and I did meet them when they were alive - both very good people.


? something attributed wrong or got lost?


She's mentioned that her father referred to her as "Daddy's little girl" and that he didn't want her to go out and find a job - she did take over the housekeeping & cooking, apparently, at some point.  But...she didn't earn money, she didn't pay bills, she had no idea of how to handle ADULT style tasks because she lived at home and apparently had an "allowance" for spending money - but since she didn't meet many men, she never really got courted (maybe she would have gotten married if she'd lived the same life only 50 to 150 years EARLIER - I don't know) or dated. 

Apparently her personality is such that she didn't feel the need or possibly didn't have the ability to push the boundaries and go out on her own more.....we socialize "once in a while" but the talk over the card table is not heart-to-heart sharing - more "how's the weather" and "what did you do last week" kind of thing.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2013, 06:38:22 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

squeakers

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1787
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4702 on: October 10, 2013, 03:53:55 PM »
I've met a woman who finally moved out of the family home and got a job AFTER her father died (older parents when they had an only child, I think).  Never seriously dated, from what she's said.  She was in her late thirties or early forties when Daddy passed away...no job, no schooling since high school, and no experience in running her own life. 

Makes you want to go back in time and shake some sense into her parents...or encourage her to step out on her own twenty-odd years earlier...

One of my long time friends has never married and never lived anywhere but with her parents.  She has been always been employed, and contributed to the household in terms of chores & paying the bills. Her parents are now deceased, and she lives on her own, still employed.  Her parents would have allowed her to move but they had a very good relationship.  I never heard her talk bad about her parents, and I did meet them when they were alive - both very good people.


She's mentioned that her father referred to her as "Daddy's little girl" and that he didn't want her to go out and find a job - she did take over the housekeeping & cooking, apparently, at some point.  But...she didn't earn money, she didn't pay bills, she had no idea of how to handle ADULT style tasks because she lived at home and apparently had an "allowance" for spending money - but since she didn't meet many men, she never really got courted (maybe she would have gotten married if she'd lived the same life only 50 to 150 years EARLIER - I don't know) or dated. 

Apparently her personality is such that she didn't feel the need or possibly didn't have the ability to push the boundaries and go out on her own more.....we socialize "once in a while" but the talk over the card table is not heart-to-heart sharing - more "how's the weather" and "what did you do last week" kind of thing.


So, not much different than me, a SAHM.  Sure I had to cook and clean all these years. And make make babies (fun :) ).  But I only just started doing the bills 2 years ago and only 3 of them. I get an allowance too.

Not everyone wants to be married.  Not everyone wants kids.  And that's not a bad thing.



ETA I have no idea why this whole block is quoted the way it is... I checked the BBC and it seems fine. Aha! Extra top quote message left in there.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2013, 03:59:10 PM by squeakers »
"I feel sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is so low, in fact, that Miss Manners feels sure you would not want to resort to it yourself, even in your own defense. We do not believe in retaliatory rudeness." Judith Martin

Free Range Hippy Chick

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 765
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4703 on: October 10, 2013, 06:05:19 PM »
And further to client who doesn't need my assistance, I have in my possession an item that was provided to me by the aforementioned client in order for me to do the work. Since the contract is now over, client, perfectly reasonably, wants the item back. I offered to take it to the local office of Large Courier; client preferred to make arrangements with Small Courier. Fine, it's not as if I care. Client asked me to parcel item up and weigh it; client would then arrange for Small Courier to collect it. I advised client of parcel weight and also that I was never available to hand over the item in the morning.

OK, maybe I should have said 'and not necessarily in the afternoon; you need to let me know what day he's coming'.

At 1:15 p.m there was an email saying 'courier coming this afternoon'.

So I told the Younger Chick that he was going to have to walk to his play rehearsal, and possibly also walk home afterwards because I needed to be at home for the courier; I also cancelled my plan to go to the supermarket and to the Post Office.

Courier didn't come.

I have emailed ex-client and told them flatly to get courier to telephone before calling. Tomorrow I'm doing all the things I should have done today, plus the ones I already had planned for tomorrow, and you know something? I'm not staying at home to wait for anybody. I'm busy. Yes, I want their doodad out of my house, but I'm not rearranging any more of my life for them.

Chip2

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 245
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4704 on: October 15, 2013, 02:29:22 PM »
I had a friend who worked for a state government agency. He had a dreadful health issue while visiting his parents on a weekend. Monday, his mother called his office to tell them he would not be in. The person answering the phone said "I beg your pardon..." and immediately transferred the call to a security-sounding person. Mom, understandably a bit rattled, had managed to misdial and get the very, very private number of the governor of the state, The one he answered himself because only close friends & family used it. "Billy is sick and won't be in today" was not exactly what he was expecting to hear.

Something similar happened to MsChip. When I was stationed in Hawaii she was selling toys in a party-style environment and got an order for about $100. She took an Army soldier's check that bounced, so she went through the usual routine of notifying the check writer. However, despite phone calls and certified letters she was ignored for about three weeks. So she did a little sleuthing and got a phone number for the check writer's supervisor's office in an attempt to raise the stakes.

Now, MsChip was prior Air Force, and I was active duty Army at the time. So when Captain Smith answered the phone MsChip just explained the situation and was told she'd have her money by the end of the week. But then Captain Smith asked how MsChip got the number; apparently the Pearl Harbor operator gave her the first one that popped up. Captain Smith said "Okay", my wife said "Thank you" and the call ended.

Two hours later the check writer screeched up to our house and practically threw the money (including fines) at my wife and yelled at her for getting the commander of the Pacific Joint Intelligence Operations Center involved in his bad check. Yeah, a Navy captain, which is the equivalent of an Army or Air Force colonel. A total accident on MsChip's part, but it got things worked out.  >:D

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8134
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4705 on: October 15, 2013, 02:39:53 PM »
Lots of turnover at work right now, and one particular employee that has had a record of calling off work on a weekly basis just stopped showing up a few weeks ago. The supervisor did a welfare check, and the soon to be former employee is just fine and dandy, although no longer coming to work.

An email indicating the employee was leaving would have been too much trouble?

Chip2

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 245
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4706 on: October 15, 2013, 02:45:30 PM »
 ::) Like the venerable $600 toilet seat and the $200 hammers.  If your government office needs hammers, you can't take $20 out of petty cash and go buy a couple at Home Depot or Sears.  No, you have to put out a call for your suppliers to bid on.  And if the lowest bid comes in at $200 per hammer, then that's how much your office will pay for them.
[/quote]

Fortunately, at least for the Army, those days are long gone. Units are issued a credit card and if they need a hammer, somebody goes down to the Home Depot and buys a hammer for $20. The purchases are audited at least quarterly, so as long as nobody does something stupid (yeah, right  ::)  ) everybody is happy, including the tax payers.

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2661
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4707 on: October 15, 2013, 05:51:42 PM »
My former colleague who successfully committed PD (the guy who got arrested, who had lied about his qualifications, and was also apparently abusing the information access of our position) managed to apply to the same position I've applied to - which requires more expertise than my current position.  He put his brief tenure with my department on his application and in "Reason for Leaving" he wrote "Will explain during interview."

I have a friend who works in that department, and as the worker bees in that department interact frequently with my department, he and his colleagues were asked about who on Earth this guy was...my friend reported that he started laughing and directed his supervisors to the arrest report.  I have certain doubts about his chances of getting an interview...

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13154
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4708 on: October 15, 2013, 05:59:01 PM »
My former colleague who successfully committed PD (the guy who got arrested, who had lied about his qualifications, and was also apparently abusing the information access of our position) managed to apply to the same position I've applied to - which requires more expertise than my current position.  He put his brief tenure with my department on his application and in "Reason for Leaving" he wrote "Will explain during interview."

I have a friend who works in that department, and as the worker bees in that department interact frequently with my department, he and his colleagues were asked about who on Earth this guy was...my friend reported that he started laughing and directed his supervisors to the arrest report.  I have certain doubts about his chances of getting an interview...

Well, they might give him an interview just to find out what positive spin he could possibly put on being arrested....but it might be easiest just to circular file (dust bin) his application & resume.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2661
Re: Professional Darwinism: Update to OP on p.74
« Reply #4709 on: October 15, 2013, 06:05:24 PM »
My former colleague who successfully committed PD (the guy who got arrested, who had lied about his qualifications, and was also apparently abusing the information access of our position) managed to apply to the same position I've applied to - which requires more expertise than my current position.  He put his brief tenure with my department on his application and in "Reason for Leaving" he wrote "Will explain during interview."

I have a friend who works in that department, and as the worker bees in that department interact frequently with my department, he and his colleagues were asked about who on Earth this guy was...my friend reported that he started laughing and directed his supervisors to the arrest report.  I have certain doubts about his chances of getting an interview...

Well, they might give him an interview just to find out what positive spin he could possibly put on being arrested....but it might be easiest just to circular file (dust bin) his application & resume.

I have it on very good authority that his firing came complete with a "do not rehire" status - actually, he shouldn't have been able to put in an application at all.