I wish my manager would stop letting my coworker get away with, well, not hardly doing anything. She made a joke about "What would you guys do without me here?" and I couldn't help but think "The same thing we do with you here - since you don't really do much of the work." I couldn't really come up with a sincere and nice response...I swear she must be blackmailing the management to still have her job.
I'd find it difficult not to answer this way and let the chips fall where they may (basically, to answer, should she ask what that meant -- "Our workload doesn't change whether or not you're here").
Unfortunately, my supervisors weren't in hearing range, so it wouldn't have done anything but start (another) argument. She does as little as possible, and does most of that badly. Unfortunately, simple lack of competence is not enough to get her fired, and we're pretty sure she's got dirt on management that leaves them reluctant to insist that she do anything.
There was a Not Always Working incident where a lousy waitress was the daughter of the restaurant's owner - your work shirking co-irker might not be the one with "dirt" on management - she could be related to a former employee or ex-lover with enough dirt to make them think twice about firing her, though.
I did learn that the waitress
the manager didn't get talked to for not taking glasses to a table with a pitcher of soda & getting the pizza to us after it got really cold - because I (off duty waitress) got called to the phone and lambasted for yelling at her.
#1 - I hadn't said a thing to her other than "pitcher of Coke & three glasses" while the guys picked the pizza. But I caught heck for what they said to her...
#2 - I got fired when I came in the next day for my next work shift (she was giving me both the evil eye and a grin that was enough to make me wonder what was coming to bite me & where).
#3 - I had told the guys that I did NOT want to eat pizza - I worked there and I was tired of Italian. I wanted "something else" - but they wanted pizza & it was after lunch & before dinner, so the place would be quiet enough to visit.
I didn't know it was PD to go to work and eat when a shirker was there and didn't want to WORK because, apparently, I was supposed to turn in the order, get our drinks, and pick up the pizza when it was done MYSELF instead of interrupting her flirting with the new cook (manager wasn't there that shift).
I didn't eat at that location again for about five or six years...living in another state did help make it easier to avoid - but the ILs lived close to that Pizza Hut. Fortunately, they preferred Shakey's Pizza Place!