Changing my FB group – would this be rude??

[kingsrings]

Here’s the scoop – about a year ago, I started an alumnus FB group for people who attended my elementary school. I was envisioning a group where past alumni who are now adults could reminisce, “nostalgize”, and keep in touch with past classmates. In the group description, I described it as ‘for all who attended ______ elementary school’. Well, obviously I should have been more clear in my description, because about six months ago, current students started joining my group and discussing whatever currently is going on at the school. Because they’re kids, of course the talk is obviously on the youngish, giggly, gossipy side.

I’m not too happy about this, because as I said, I really intended for this group to be for adults who were past students. So recently, I changed the description to read ‘for past alumni of _____ elementary school’. But that would only be read by newer potential members, and that would still draw in kids to the group. So there’s that – and what do I do about the current students who are already on there, and still doing all the ‘kid talk’? The only thing I can think of is to delete their threads, delete them as members of the group, and change the description to read that it’s only for alumni from such-and-such era (which would mean adults only). I don’t want to cancel and delete the group altogether, because right now, there are nearly 300 members!

Would it be rude and mean of me to do this? Or would it be me just ‘managing’ the group that I have authority and control over?

[Tiamet]

Couldn't you leave this group to the kids and start a new one for the adults?  You could post a message on the existing group about the new one and make it clear it is for adults only.

I think it's a bit unfair to the children to start deleting them without cause.  After all, they haven't crashed the group -  it just wasn't made clear what sort of group it was.

Alternatively, do it the other way around - start a new group for the children and when you delete them as members, let them know where they can sign up.

[something.new.every.day]

Couldn't you leave this group to the kids and start a new one for the adults?  You could post a message on the existing group about the new one and make it clear it is for adults only.

I think it's a bit unfair to the children to start deleting them without cause.  After all, they haven't crashed the group -  it just wasn't made clear what sort of group it was.

Alternatively, do it the other way around - start a new group for the children and when you delete them as members, let them know where they can sign up.

These are great suggestions.  If you have any particularly active posters in the younger group, you may even be able to recruit someone to manage that group.  Then either get them to start their own group, or leave the original group to them and make a new alumni page. 

(I think alumni is pretty broad, too.  I'd make it for the Class of 'xx or the Classes of 'xx-'yy, if you really want to keep it to people you know.)

[kingsrings]

Well, there are more adults than children of the hundred-plus group, so leaving the board to the children and starting a new one for adults wouldn’t be practical. I do like the idea of asking one of the children to start their own school board for current students, though. I could just reiterate how much more fun it would be for them to not have to hang out with all us boring adults. Either that – or I could delete their threads that just get so gossipy and silly. Hmmm….

As for having it only for certain people, I should of done that in the beginning – such as saying it’s for alumnus for up to the 90’s, because that would only be adults.

[CrayonOutlines]

I don't see anything wrong with deleting the kids from your ALUMNI group.  They may not know that alumni means graduates of, but still.

I started a FB group for alumnae from my women's college and when a man joined and used it as an opportunity to spam members, I deleted him and the other men (they may be fans of the college, but they certainly aren't alums) and then required all membership requests to be approved by me.  

[kingsrings]

Ha, I didn’t think of that – the meaning of the word alumni. That could be a ball in my court, but in this case, someone could be an alumnus, but still a child, so maybe that wouldn’t work after all. I could also set it so that I have to approve everyone as members, but then that might look weird and cliquey and turn people off from wanting to join the group, thinking that I’m judging everyone. 

[Animala]

As the creator you can't leave the group or it will delete.  I'd suggest clarifying the name Smith School Alumni 95-99, requiring approval for new members, start a new general Smith School group, message all the members as to the changes with a link to the new group and then removed the children as members of the alumni group.

[Deetee]

I think the best way to handle this (but a fair amount of work for you) is to create two new groups

-One for current students
-One for the adult alumni

Then sort through your group of 300 and issue two batches of invitations to

1)all kids to join the new "kids" group
2) all adults to join the new group

Let all 3 groups live for one month-but post reminders that the group wll be deleted in 1 month, 2 weeks etc.. Keep the other two active during that time. Then cancel the original group.

If the individual invites are to much work, you can issue a mass invite introducing the two new groups and ask people to choose the appropiate one, but make it clear the current one will be deleted.

[JoanOfArc]

For high school FB group, the group was closed- you had to be recognized as a member of the class before you were allowed to join.  You could start a new 'closed' group so you could limit it to adults around your age only. 

Joan

[MDefarge]

As the creator you can't leave the group or it will delete.  I'd suggest clarifying the name Smith School Alumni 95-99, requiring approval for new members, start a new general Smith School group, message all the members as to the changes with a link to the new group and then removed the children as members of the alumni group.

I'd do this with the exception of starting the *new* school group - because I got the impression you don't want the hassle of dealing with the kids, if you make that new group you'd probably feel obligated to check on it every now and then, and as the PP pointed out, you couldn't ever leave that group w.out it closing.

ETA - I didn't mean "you don't want the hassle of dealing with the kids" in a snotty way - I wouldn't want to deal with them either in that capacity!

[Sheila Take a Bow]

Ha, I didn’t think of that – the meaning of the word alumni. That could be a ball in my court, but in this case, someone could be an alumnus, but still a child, so maybe that wouldn’t work after all. I could also set it so that I have to approve everyone as members, but then that might look weird and cliquey and turn people off from wanting to join the group, thinking that I’m judging everyone. 

FWIW, I wouldn't think it was weird or cliquey if an alumni group needed approval to join.  I'm a member of an alumni association on FB that approves its members -- I just had to tell them my year and I was approved.  It didn't even strike me as odd when I joined.  But maybe that's just me.

As the creator you can't leave the group or it will delete.  I'd suggest clarifying the name Smith School Alumni 95-99, requiring approval for new members, start a new general Smith School group, message all the members as to the changes with a link to the new group and then removed the children as members of the alumni group.

I'd do this with the exception of starting the *new* school group - because I got the impression you don't want the hassle of dealing with the kids, if you make that new group you'd probably feel obligated to check on it every now and then, and as the PP pointed out, you couldn't ever leave that group w.out it closing.

I agree.

[kingsrings]

Yes, I definitely don’t want the hassle of being in charge of a kid’s alumni group. Or having to advise a couple hundred members that there’s now a new group forming, just because of the large number of the group.

[MDefarge]

Yes, I definitely don’t want the hassle of being in charge of a kid’s alumni group. Or having to advise a couple hundred members that there’s now a new group forming, just because of the large number of the group.

But if you do what Animala suggested, you wouldn't actually be forming a new group, just renaming the one you already have/requiring approval to join (and deleting the kids) or am I reading that wrong?

[Surianne]

I think it would be pretty mean to start deleting the kids' threads and kicking them out of the group.  They're not doing anything wrong, you just don't like their style of conversation.  Either start a new group for just adults, delete the entire group, or learn to live with some kiddie conversation in between your adult conversation.

[CrayonOutlines]

I think it would be pretty mean to start deleting the kids' threads and kicking them out of the group.  They're not doing anything wrong, you just don't like their style of conversation.  Either start a new group for just adults, delete the entire group, or learn to live with some kiddie conversation in between your adult conversation.

I disagree.  IMO, she wouldn't be deleting the kids from the group simply because of how they talk, but because they don't meet the criteria for the group, i.e., they are not adults who graduated from that school.  And they're not on there being nostagic (which kingsrings said is one of the purposes of the group) and to keep up with past classmates; they're on there commenting on current events at the school with current classmates.  Deleting them isn't punitive, but clarifying the purpose of the group.  I'd expect to be deleted if I joined a group that was specifically for 16 year-old boys from Omaha when I'm a 39 year-old woman from New Orleans.