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who do I invite?!

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sarahann:
I am having a dilemma about who I should be inviting to my baby shower.  Let me give you all a bit of background here... I was due to deliver on July 15.  I gave birth almost 2 months early.  I hadn't had my baby shower yet and we were beginning to pinpoint a date right before my son came early.  Since then, there have been several people that have stopped by to drop off very generous gifts to us.  Most of these people are people I was planning on inviting to my baby shower.  Do I still invite them even though they already brought gifts to us?  I would think that they would be offended if I didn't invite them to the shower, but at the same time, I don't want them to think they have to come to the shower and bring us another gift.  What do I do???!!!

Summrs:
My first thought is to not invite them... as the purpose of a shower IS gifts to 'shower' the mom with.  But then, it might seem as though you aren't interested in their company because you already have their gift.  So... I don't know, lol.  Are you close enough to them that you can include a note in the invitation that says you'd love them to attend but not bring another gift?  (worded better, of course)... or maybe you could give them a call when you send out the invitations?

That aside.. congratulations on your baby boy.  I hope he's doing well and there are no problems.

twinkletoes:
Why not have a "meet the baby" party?  It's not a shower, and it's a chance for everyone (don't forget the uncles, male cousins, etc.!) to see the baby at once.  If anyone decides to bring a gift, it will be up to them - just don't make mention of "well, I couldn't have a shower, so I guess we'll do this instead..."

I think having a shower after the fact is kind of gift-grabby, IMO.  If a couple had to get married three months earlier than planned because one or the other needed insurance or whatever, it would be weird to me.  You deal with the hands you were dealt.

Sibby:
I presume a friend is hosting & sending the invites, coirrect?  If not, you domn't geto have a shower anyway, so problem solved.

So what I would do is provide the list of guests to my friend with a mark next to the names of the people who gave you a gift already.  Have a host slip a small note in their invite saying some htign l;ike "it is my understanding you already gave Sarahann her baby gift, please do not feel obligated to bring another, we just really wanted to invite you because we know she'd love for you to be there."

then whne you do the gift opening, have a list of those present with what they gave and do a verbal "i'd also like to thank the following people for their generous gifts, that they gave me eariler."

caranfin:

--- Quote from: twinkletoes on May 30, 2007, 01:16:01 PM ---Why not have a "meet the baby" party?  It's not a shower, and it's a chance for everyone (don't forget the uncles, male cousins, etc.!) to see the baby at once.  If anyone decides to bring a gift, it will be up to them - just don't make mention of "well, I couldn't have a shower, so I guess we'll do this instead..."
--- End quote ---

I think this is a good idea. People who have already brought a gift won't feel compelled to bring another, and everyone gets a chance to get together.


--- Quote ---I think having a shower after the fact is kind of gift-grabby, IMO.  If a couple had to get married three months earlier than planned because one or the other needed insurance or whatever, it would be weird to me.  You deal with the hands you were dealt.
--- End quote ---

I disagree. A friend of mine had a baby born at 30 weeks (normal pregnancy lasts 40 weeks for those who don't know). Her shower was already scheduled, so it ended up being held about a month after he was born instead of a month before, as originally planned. How is that gift-grabby?

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