Children and facebook

[Zilla]

My dd has a facebook page.  I did it because she was always on my account playing all the games.  However I restricted her account to where she can't be searched and it is private only to her friend's list.  I also check her page, but really she doesn't do anything but play all the games.  In fact I have to remind her to check her email as she had quite a few from family saying hello.

If I knew one of her friends was hiding a page from her parents, I would tell them.

I don't think it is hypocritical to keep your own kid's account open.  You aren't telling the other parent to close their kid's page because he or she is underage.  You are telling them they are hiding a page from them.  With pedophiles and online stalkers out there, that is more of a safety issue.  That would be my only factor as to why I would mention it to them.

And in my home, under 18, I have to see their pages.  After they leave the house can they have their privacy.  If they unfriend me, then they can't use the computers here.  Bil is perfectly fine with that and he says all his friends have all their family members on their friend's lists too.  So it isn't an issue here.

[NOVA Lady]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

[MOM21SON]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

[Sharnita]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

I have to say that as somebody who uses facebook it affects all users when some individuals disregard the terms of use.  Some people might be using facebook in large part because of the age restrictions.  I don't think that anybody who fraudulaently agrees to terms they are not following really has much reason to ask why others report violations of the rules.  Isn't the fact that they are the rules reason enough?

[MOM21SON]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

I have to say that as somebody who uses facebook it affects all users when some individuals disregard the terms of use.  Some people might be using facebook in large part because of the age restrictions.  I don't think that anybody who fraudulaently agrees to terms they are not following really has much reason to ask why others report violations of the rules.  Isn't the fact that they are the rules reason enough?

I understand there are rules.  What I don't understand why people go around reporting things when it does not affect them.

[The703]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

I have to say that as somebody who uses facebook it affects all users when some individuals disregard the terms of use.  Some people might be using facebook in large part because of the age restrictions.  I don't think that anybody who fraudulaently agrees to terms they are not following really has much reason to ask why others report violations of the rules.  Isn't the fact that they are the rules reason enough?

I understand there are rules.  What I don't understand why people go around reporting things when it does not affect them.

Then why do you want to report the boy to his mom? Does it affect you in any way?

[Sharnita]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

I have to say that as somebody who uses facebook it affects all users when some individuals disregard the terms of use.  Some people might be using facebook in large part because of the age restrictions.  I don't think that anybody who fraudulaently agrees to terms they are not following really has much reason to ask why others report violations of the rules.  Isn't the fact that they are the rules reason enough?

I understand there are rules.  What I don't understand why people go around reporting things when it does not affect them.

They are affected simply by the fact that they joined a socila network with the expectation that rules would be followed.  If you don't follow the rules you undermine the netwrok in general.

[MOM21SON]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

I have to say that as somebody who uses facebook it affects all users when some individuals disregard the terms of use.  Some people might be using facebook in large part because of the age restrictions.  I don't think that anybody who fraudulaently agrees to terms they are not following really has much reason to ask why others report violations of the rules.  Isn't the fact that they are the rules reason enough?

I understand there are rules.  What I don't understand why people go around reporting things when it does not affect them.

Then why do you want to report the boy to his mom? Does it affect you in any way?

You are correct it doesn't affect me.  The boy has been sneaking around obviously and as a parent  I would want to know if my child was being a sneak, especially on the internet.

[The703]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

I have to say that as somebody who uses facebook it affects all users when some individuals disregard the terms of use.  Some people might be using facebook in large part because of the age restrictions.  I don't think that anybody who fraudulaently agrees to terms they are not following really has much reason to ask why others report violations of the rules.  Isn't the fact that they are the rules reason enough?

I understand there are rules.  What I don't understand why people go around reporting things when it does not affect them.

Then why do you want to report the boy to his mom? Does it affect you in any way?

You are correct it doesn't affect me.  The boy has been sneaking around obviously and as a parent  I would want to know if my child was being a sneak, especially on the internet.

Marina could be doing the same thing. A kid that is under age could be sneaking around on the internet. They lied in the first place to get the account and they *could* be lying to their parents.

[little bird]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

Well, I report underage kids because I think it's inappropriate for them to continue benefiting from lying about their ages. 

[MOM21SON]

You are correct.  I guess I made an interesting assumption and for that I apologize.

[wheeitsme]

For the record, the Facebook Terms of Service is a contract you agree to when you sign up.  It explicitly states:

 "You will not use Facebook if you are under 13. "

I do not believe that it is proper etiquette to enter into a contract when to do so when you have to purposefully ...oh golly, I've really tried to come up with a nicer way to say this, but here it is...when you have purposefully deceive or lie to the other party to get them to enter into it.

Therefore, I do believe you should tell the other mother.  Especially since there is no adult monitoring his use.  If something horrible happens, Facebook will not be accountable. 

[NOVA Lady]

Honestly,  they are under 13

Then they're both violating Facebook's terms of service.  The terms state that users agree that they will not use Facebook if they are under 13.  I would tell the mom, but only if you're planning on complying with Facebook's rules yourself and deleting your son's account.  To do otherwise would be hypocritical.

POD.... facebook is for people 13 and over only.

When I see the profile of people under that age I report them.

May I ask what you gain from this?  And how does it affect you?

I don't "gain" anything from it, other than I do not care for little kids using FB (and thats just my opinion).

Do you only do things that you gain something from doing?

I don't see why theres anything wrong with me doing that, as I am just assisting the FB admin team enforce their own rules. I joined FB with the understanding that it was not for small children, and I prefer to keep it that way.

Maybe a social networking site for elementary school aged kids is needed? I bet whoever makes that could end up as rich as the inventor of FB

[Squeaks]

If you are monitoring your son's account you can keep up on Joe as well.  As long as there is no screaming warning signs on his FB page i would likely not tell as my son is my priority (or would be if i had one) and i would not want to risk ruining trust.  

Also you have given mom a heads up. . . . seems most parents would check out this other Joe Brown's profile "just in case"

If you are going to tell, wait *at least* a month (again so long as no sign of imminent danger).  If you let it cool,  and your son at least partly forgets he told you,  it is less likely to come back to bite you and can be passed off as she found out some other way.  

You son is your priority.  Other mom can follow up on her child as she sees fit.  

[Hanna]

I think kids under 13 using FB put the rest of us in a bad position.  It's not fair to the rest of the user community, and frankly, it makes me very uncomfortable.
There are many good reasons for the rule, and I can understand reporting violators.

Asking what do you gain is ironic, on a forum that is largely moderated based on users reporting rule violations.

But regarding your question about telling his mother, I think you have to figure out what message you want to send to your son and what either action will imply:
It's hard to say what he will take away from you saying something or saying nothing.
It could be "My mother won't condone my friends deceiving their parents"
or "I can tell my mom anything and she won't react"

Also, consider what you would want to happen if you were in the other parent's shoes.

Whatever you do, I think you should talk at length with your son about this issue, but not necessarily tell him what you decide to do.  Because if you do tell the mom, I don't think your son needs to know or feel guilty about sharing this info with you.