here's my suggestions, for what it's worth:
first of all, I am quite heavy now, have been battling with my weight, off and on, most of life. What really works is to really change your lifestyle and attitudes toward food and health. and i really truly believe (from my own, and other people's experience) that once you achieve that, the "need" for chocolatey gooey sweet stuff really disappears. really, it does work. the trick is to be consistent.
I can't tell you how to change your attitude, because different strokes for different folks. all i can tell you is that if you really work at this - eat healthy foods (NOT DIET FOODS!! THEY ARE THE WORST THING FOR DIETERS!!), exercise, and find healthy (non-fattening) outlets for your frustrations etc, then you are on your way.
what do i have for dessert?
usualy - nothing. (yes, i succeeded in losing that 'need' for something sweet).
i do make my own brownies - i use butter or oil (no margerine) and only real high quality products. no lower fat, reduced fat, diet stuff. i always put in much less sugar than the recipes tells you, usualy you can cut it by half or a third. i cut them smaller than the recipe directs you, and keep them in the freezer (underbake them by 1-2 minutes, this way they are fudgey-er). i alternate the brownies with home made granola bars. but you have to know yourself - if having the brownines in the freezer is going to make you eat alot of them - then don't do it. just buy yourself *a* brownie, in the best bakery in town, and enjoy it.
i also make a big fruit salad 1-2 times a week (i mean HUGE) and DS and I nibble at it all week long. sometimes i pour a few tablespoons of yougurt on top (again, real yogurt).
sometimes i wil take rice cakes with a little peanut butter and no-sugar jam or honey. (i buy a jam that is made from fruit and natural fruit juice with no sugar, no fake sugar either).
i make poached pears in wine, in the winter - yummy.
so that's how i get around it. but to me - it starts in the head, i need ed to recondition the way i think, and to change my attitudes toward MY health, and it made a big difference. i can look with indifference at most cakes and candies, it just doesn't interest me any more because 'it's really not worth it'.