I like my wedding ring just fine, thanks!

[Piratelvr1121]

I was thinking about jewelry, rings specifically, and thought of a conversation I had with a former coworker once about rings, specifically engagement and wedding rings.

BG:  When my favorite aunt married in 95, she and her husband had claddagh rings, and she explained to me what they meant.  Being 1/2 Irish and proud of that heritage, it along with the meaning and story behind the claddagh made me decide at the age of 16 that when I got married, I wanted to have a claddagh as a wedding band.

Fast forward about 4 years, I met DH in college and fell in love.   I told him after we were engaged about the claddagh's meaning and that I'd always wanted to wear one as a wedding band.   He liked the idea too and so after we figured out our ring sizes, he ordered them from Ireland!    Didn't ask him too, but was thrilled that he decided to.  /BG

This coworker was big into diamonds, and while I've never had anything against them, when it comes to gemstones I prefer ones with color to them, maybe with diamond chips around them.   I had mentioned that my engagement ring was a sapphire surrounded by diamond chips, and she'd seen my wedding band.   She insisted dh "Owed" me a diamond ring of some sort.  I showed her a ring DH got me for our 5th anniversary that had rubies and diamonds in it.  That didn't count.  I should have a huge "rock" and told me "You need to tell that boy to buy you a diamond!"

Had I known of e-hell then I would have definitely used this phrase! LOL! Instead I said "Nah, I don't want a diamond, so he certainly doesn't owe me one..."

[kitty_ev]

Ooooh.... that sort of attitude makes my blood boil! You have lovely jewellery that reflects your heritage and that you adore. Why on earth would you trade that for something else? I think your coworker's attitude is incredibly immature!

[Dazi]

I get that quite frequently and I do have a diamond engagement and wedding ring.  It is not large though (about 1/2 carat total weight. I think the center stone is 1/6 carat), but it suits me perfectly.  I have small hands and don't like big/gaudy jewelry.

I can't count the times I have had people tell me I *must* get my DH to buy me a proper sized/expensive set.   Hmmm, it is proper sized.  Technically, I picked it out, I just didn't know at the time. I was trying on rings for my friend's DH because we wear the same size.  He needed opinions as well as a hand model  . He was trying to pick out a new set for their 10th anniversary.  My DH was with us, he paid very close attention to what I said she would like vs. what I liked.

I have used the "I like my wedding ring just fine, thanks" line many times.  I have given also used "why would I want to do that?".

IMO, the people that equate huge diamond engagement for the amount of love someone has for you are shallow, insecure people.  Ignore them.

***The most amusing/most vocal comments were made my one of my DH's best friend's wife.  Her DH spent a ton of time and a lot of money on a exquisite wedding band set.  She went and traded it in for a set that was exactly the same, but that had a much larger (less quality/clarity) diamond.  I thought he was going to kill her...He noticed it immediately because he had spent months looking for the perfect center stone for it (it was around 2 carats, beautiful colour/clarity).

[Diane AKA Traska]

"But diamonds are forever just like loooooooove!"
"Diamonds are compressed coal, and a commodity artificially inflated in price due to false scarcity, and held control of through ruthlessness.  I'll stick to what I've got, thanks."

EDIT:  Just wanted to add that those who actually like diamonds, this wasn't anything trying to dissuade them from that.  They're my personal reasons for not liking diamonds, but then again I love meat, which other people might not eat because of the way that industry works.  I just figure that a good burger is a lot tastier than some rock.   

[Piratelvr1121]

"Diamonds are compressed coal, and a commodity artificially inflated in price due to false scarcity, and held control of through ruthlessness.  I'll stick to what I've got, thanks."

That made me giggle.  The woman who said this to me was pretty shallow in other ways, too, so it really doesn't surprise me that she had this attitude that my ring wasn't good enough because there were no diamonds on it.  Just a simple gold claddagh.    But the claddagh just means more to me than a diamond wedding band.   It's meaning, for those who don't know, the heart symbolizes love, the hands friendship and the crown loyalty. 

And the story behind it, from Wikipedia:

One legend that may be closer to historical truth [opinion] is of a man named Richard Joyce, another member of the Joyce clan and a native of Galway. He left his town to work in the West Indies, intending to marry his love when he returned. However, his ship was captured and he was sold as a slave to a Moorish goldsmith. In Algiers, with his new master, he was trained in his craft. When William III became king, he demanded the Moors release all British prisoners. As a result, Robert Joyce was set free. The goldsmith had such a great amount of respect for Robert Joyce that he offered Joyce his daughter and half his wealth if Joyce stayed, but he denied his offer and returned home to marry his love who awaited his return. During his time with the Moors, he forged a ring as a symbol of his love for her. Upon his return, he presented her with the ring and they were married.

I'm a sucker for romance, can you tell? LOL!

[itsmeforever]

I think what you have sounds lovely. Everyone has different tastes. Heck my mother didn't even have a engagement ring until after they were married! And, it's a ruby!

I had something similar happen....

My DH gave me a interlocking engagement and wedding ring 13 years ago. After 6 years, it broke twice and we found out how cheaply it was made. And to fix it properly, it would cost more than we were willing to spend. I wore a cheap wedding band for 5 years. July '08 he "stole" my set and had it remade with his mother's original wedding band and new, bigger and better quality diamond. Surprised me that Christmas with it! It had my old diamond chips and his mothers band. I was touched and teary eyed.

I saw someone that I hadn't seen in years and she actually remembered the old one and proceeded to give me a LONG lecture. That the old was sentimental and he should have kept it, he should have used a colored stone, because diamonds were for NEW engagement rings ONLY! She was so upset that he gotten rid of the old one. All I could say "I love my new ring."

Kinda took the wind out of my sails.

[Suze]

oh POOP on them

whose finger is that ring on?  that is the only other person who SHOULD have a say in what it looks like. (the one buying it is the other)

a good friend has an engagement ring that is a colored stone and has little rubber duckies worked into the sides of the ring. (it's a thing with her)

not for me -- but it is cute. (I would rather have dragons......) and it is "her" and she and her FH are happy with it and that is the thing that counts

[Piratelvr1121]

I agree, it shouldn't matter to anyone but the ring wearer and the ring giver. 

My husband ended up getting a plain gold band after a few years. He held onto the claddagh but didn't wear it anymore because the point of the heart kept digging into his skin.  I didn't really mind, as he still wears a ring.   Someday I think it would be nice to get a band with the claddagh design engraved but it depends on how he feels.

[wheeitsme]

My husband had a horrible time getting me my pearl engagement ring.  They kept trying to push diamonds.  I LIKE pearls.  I could care less about diamonds.  He knew that.  He ended up spinning a story about my being ethically opposed to diamonds due to the bloody diamond trade before they helped him with pearls...

[Dazi]

My husband had a horrible time getting me my pearl engagement ring.  They kept trying to push diamonds.  I LIKE pearls.  I could care less about diamonds.  He knew that.  He ended up spinning a story about my being ethically opposed to diamonds due to the bloody diamond trade before they helped him with pearls...

Is it really bad, that I find that really amusing?

[Lisbeth]

I showed her a ring DH got me for our 5th anniversary that had rubies and diamonds in it.  That didn't count.  I should have a huge "rock" and told me "You need to tell that boy to buy you a diamond!"

Had I known of e-hell then I would have definitely used this phrase! LOL! Instead I said "Nah, I don't want a diamond, so he certainly doesn't owe me one..."

How did she respond?

If she kept pushing big diamond rings, I'd probably lose my patience and say, "Coworker, my husband gave me what I wanted.  I don't want a diamond.  Please consider the subject closed."

[Piratelvr1121]

Oh she rolled her eyes and made a comment about him being lucky to not have a wife who's willing to demand what she deserves.   

She was a very shallow woman so it really didn't surprise me in the least that she felt like this and thought I should too.   

[Diane AKA Traska]

Oh she rolled her eyes and made a comment about him being lucky to not have a wife who's willing to demand what she deserves.

 

"What I deserve is a ring I want, not the ring you want me to have."

[trailgrrl]

My husband had a horrible time getting me my pearl engagement ring.  They kept trying to push diamonds.  I LIKE pearls.  I could care less about diamonds.  He knew that.  He ended up spinning a story about my being ethically opposed to diamonds due to the bloody diamond trade before they helped him with pearls...

Is it really bad, that I find that really amusing?

No, I found it  funny too.

However, the thing about pearls is that they are really fragile and not well suited to every day use as rings.   I have a pearl and diamond ring that my dad gave my mom and I've had the replace pearls on it twice before I retired for special occasion use only.

My wedding set has a 1/3 carat diamond with excellent color and clarity with sapphire and diamond wrap.  The only thing I would ever change about it would be I would have preferred white to yellow gold.  It's never occurred to me to exchanged it for something different..........I've had it nearly 19 years now.

[Amalthea]

I never knew sparkly rocks were such serious business until I started reading this forum.  I can't imagine what possesses people to make negative comments on other people's jewelry choices.  I love pretty much anything and everything that catches the light in an appealing manner, so I can't understand how someone could be so attached to one particular stone that they insist on everyone else in the world wearing it too.