Large Family Bingo- Rant

[AdakAK]

I am going to have to start playing!
I went to Costco today to pick up some things for Christmas, and school let out yesterday so I had all my kids with me.  They are aged 10 down to 1.  In order they are boy, boy, girl, boy.
A man said something to my daughter that I didn’t quite catch.  Then he saw the big boys with the baby in a stroller.
“Oh my, are ALL those kids yours?”
I put on my Big Happy Smile and replied that they were.
“Even the three boys?”
He’s starting to sound weird; you know how you can tell someone is starting to look down on you?
I replied, “Yes, we sure are lucky.”  (I did try to sound positive, but I know I should not have fanned the flames.  I’m sure to get singed by e-hell too.)
He starts to hem and haw, “Uh well, I don’t know.  I’ll just say… I think better you than me.”
“Me too!” and I smiled and left. 

I don’t ask you to take care of my kids or to pay for them.  Why do you care if I want 1 or 10?  They were well behaved in the store, just walking with me. 

I wish people didn’t think it was ok to just tell strangers what they should do with their lives.  Most people don’t listen to solicited advice, let alone unsolicited advice from people who don’t even know me! 

Susan

[Lisbeth]

I'd respond, "Given that attitude, you're absolutely right.  My children are far better off with someone who really loves and cares about them as a parent than someone who treats them as a burden."

[AdakAK]

I'd respond, "Given that attitude, you're absolutely right.  My children are far better off with someone who really loves and cares about them as a parent than someone who treats them as a burden."

I was tempted!  I figured that me too could be interpreted either that I am so happy to have my kids or as exactly what you are saying.  He didn't have to know that was what I was thinking!

Susan

[ZipTheWonder]

Definitely better you than him. 

I'm sure at some point, somebody will tell him that he doesn't need to say everything he thinks.

[CrayonOutlines]

He starts to hem and haw, “Uh well, I don’t know.  I’ll just say… I think better you than me.”
“Me too!” and I smiled and left. 

I think you handled yourself wonderfully!  And, yes, your kids are very fortunate.   

[Gigi]

I'm always amazed that people think they have a right to comment about personal issues.

I was watching my niece and nephew one day.  My son was 4, daughter and niece were 3 and nephew was 18mos.  All of the kids have similar coloring. 

Some missionaries rang the doorbell.  As I was trying to politely get rid of them, the curious kids all came, one or 2 at a time, to see who was there.  The following conversation ensued:
MM: Just how many children are there?
Me: Four
MM: How old are they?
Me   The boys are 4 and one and a half, the girls are 3.
MM: Are the girls twins?
Me.  No
MM: How can they both be three?
Me: They're only 10 months apart.
MM: Well!!!!!!!!
Me: Gotta go now. As you can see I'm kinda busy.

I know I didn't have to give them even that much info, but I decided to have some fun with these nozy folks.  I chuckled to myself knowing that they thought all of them were mine.  Guess it's good that they weren't passing out flyers from Planned Parenthood.

I also had someone confront me when I took them to the grocery store with comments about my big family.  I just smiled and replied that we were blessed.

[mumma to KMC]

As "future" lotsa mom (six or more kids, we hope) I am amazed at what people say when they find out I would like to have a large family. To me, having a larger family is a decision made with your partner, the same as being child-free or only having one or two children.

People will tell me I will change my mind after the first one. (Wrong, my son is so wonderful that dh and I decided to have another one right away!)  Or they ask me how will I provide for them. (A good question, however, they don't understand how a kid will turn out to be normal unless they have their own room.) As long as I am able to provide for my kids with the basics of life, food, clothes, shelter and of course lots of love, they will be fine. My dh is not rich and we are not trust fund babies. I grew up without all the latest gadgets and I turned out pretty well, I guess my kids will too.

My friend had an encounter in the dr office parking lot. She has six kids, all under 10. She is the most put together mom I have ever met. A lady confronted her about her kids and asked her how many more she planned on having and kept going on about it. The lady told her about the ways to prevent pregnancy and what not. My friend was speechless. Of course it was only after that she came up with the perfect response..."Why didn't anyone tell me about that sooner?" (of course delivered with great sarcasm!)

[Tabris]

“Oh my, are ALL those kids yours?”

"OH MY GOODNESS! Where did the other seven go?"

Either that or,

"HOLY TOLEDO! That dream wasn't a dream after all!"

[VorFemme]

My friend had an encounter in the dr office parking lot. She has six kids, all under 10. She is the most put together mom I have ever met. A lady confronted her about her kids and asked her how many more she planned on having and kept going on about it. The lady told her about the ways to prevent pregnancy and what not. My friend was speechless. Of course it was only after that she came up with the perfect response..."Why didn't anyone tell me about that sooner?" (of course delivered with great sarcasm!)

My mother told me a story a number of years ago about a man with ten kids.  He happened to be a doctor.

Someone mentioned the number of children..........the doctor made a similar comment "We figured it out about X years ago, or we would have had another three kids by now!"

[ZipTheWonder]

My husband is number 7 of 7.  When he was born his oldest sibling, who was 10, said "Mom, if you know what causes babies, maybe you should make it stop happening now."

A ten year-old who doesn't want any more babies in the house as close as anybody ought to get to putting their nose into this area of somebody else's business.

[POF]

Year ago I had two friends - a married couple - he was a OB GYN and she was a pediatrician. They had 3 children  from 0 - 3 and used to say that's it they were done. They "slipped up" and got pregnant again. We worked together in a hospital and of course they were really razzed about - you should know how that happens or doesn't. The kicker was - they were pregnant with triplets. So they ended up with 6 kids under 5 !

[Clara Bow]

I have a friend who is one of eighteen children...all by the same parents. Eighteen children...I told him one day that his mother should be canonized. He has nieces and nephews that are older than him!!
I have one child and I don't know if I'll have more...I'd like to some days, then other days....
I like to see a mom with a big family, especially good kids. I have told mothers in those circumstances what a good job they're doing (as I don't know if I'd even still be in the same room as sane) but as far as commenting on the decisions of others...I would never!!! I might say "Bless your heart! You're a really good mom!!", but I'd not cast aspersions on someone no matter how many kids they have. I'm not clothing or feeding them! Just making goofy faces at the little ones....

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

I have a friend who is one of eighteen children...all by the same parents.

Yikes! My father was one of eleven and I thought that was a big family! (My mother is one of nine.)

I do feel a bit ambivalent about people having lots of kids IF THEY CAN'T FEED AND CLOTHE THEM PROPERLY. I see a lot of that, being a teacher. Kids who steal because they don't have the same 'cool' stuff as other kids because there are so many in their family. Parents who don't make sure their kids work and then use the excuse that it's because they "have other children too, you know". One woman had a laatlammetjie (means a "late baby lamb" - a baby born late in life after siblings are grown up) and just didn't want him. She sent him to live IN A CHILDREN'S HOME. And it wasn't that she couldn't afford to look after him, it was just that she lived with her daughter (20 years older than her son) and preferred her daughter's children! Not only that, but the son and his niece and nephew were at the same school. This child had to see his mother come pick up his niece and nephew from school on a daily basis while he had to wait for the bus from the children's home. I swear, every time I saw that mother I felt like killing her.

Don't want a kid? Don't have one, or give the baby up for adoption to someone who does. And especially, don't have lots of kids and then complain that you can't look after them. If that was the case, why didn't you use birth control? Argh.

[behindbj]

“Oh my, are ALL those kids yours?”

"OH MY GOODNESS! Where did the other seven go?"

Either that or,

"HOLY TOLEDO! That dream wasn't a dream after all!"

Or, my friend's favorote (she of the 7 kids):

"Yup.  Gotta stop drinking naked."

behindbj

[Adah]

"Yup.  Gotta stop drinking naked."

That's great!! It's really nobody's business how you live your life as long as you're not impacting theirs and supporting yourself/family. There are a lot of people who believe their way is the right way to live, and are quite vocal about it. I figure they're not really happy if they have to be so rude to others about their life choices.