Author Topic: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...  (Read 8533 times)

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baglady

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And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« on: March 11, 2010, 12:03:59 AM »
From Wikipedia:

A malapropism (also called a Dogberryism or acyrologia) is the substitution of a word for a word with a similar sound, in which the resulting phrase makes no sense but often creates a comic effect.

Elaboration here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism

We've all heard them. We've all made them. Let's share. I'll start:

Bagman has a co-worker I've dubbed Mr. Malaprop, because he seems to come out with a new one every day. Recent ones I enjoyed were "cutting-age technology" (that's plastic surgery, right?) and "unthaw" (I guess that means freeze).

Heard on a radio talk show -- the caller was lamenting the fact that our society is quick to sue: "We've become too liturgical!"

A friend reflecting on a period when he didn't want to be around people: "I just wasn't feeling socialistic."

Someone telling me a particular action I took was taken too soon: "That was immature!"

I'm guilty, too. I once referred to a particular surgery as a "tubal litigation."

Yours?




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LadyClaire

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2010, 02:26:53 PM »
DF frequently uses "calliper" in place of "caliber". As in "She seems like the calliper of person who would do that sort of thing"

HeebyJeebyLeebee

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2010, 01:50:41 PM »
In high school, a friend couldn't recall the word "spontaneity", so she made up "spontaneosity".  I prefer her word - somehow it fits the spirit of the definition better.
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Clara Bow

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2010, 09:18:30 PM »
People who call in the calvary. I don't know if the hill where the crucifixion has a horseback division.
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whatsanenigma

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2010, 09:27:43 PM »
I had a friend in high school who would always say "cereal" when she meant "serious".

And she wasn't joking!

mechtilde

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2010, 05:42:17 AM »
A friend's mother used to do this all the time.

The worst of it was that when she died, the priest was giving a wonderful eulogy, and said "...Remember all the good things about her, all the funny things she used to say..."

Unfortunately at that moment I remembered the time that she said she was "Very prone (partial) to tomatoes" and nearly ended up with a fit of the giggles. In the middle of a funeral.
NE England

Penguinity

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2010, 12:05:09 PM »
A moderately famous talk radio host spent most of Friday talking about "sex molesters". I think it conveys the state of being both a sex offender and a child molester. I'm kind of sad he stopped using it today.

Tsaiko

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2010, 08:35:08 PM »
I think the one that almost killed me was when one girl at my school was talking about her boyfriend suffering from "premature emancipation." As opposed to another word that also starts with "e" and has a more s*e*x*u*a*l and medical definition.

I won't even begin to repeat the terrible euphemisms this caused the group of us to come up with.

Paper Roses

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2010, 09:07:53 PM »
I once heard a woman tell someone she had just made a bunch of photocopies and her coworker was now "correlating" them for her.

My stepgrandmother told us her brother had "prostrate" cancer.  (I always wondered if this was cured simply by standing up.)

I always love being asked if I have something "Pacific" in mind. 

This one I've always thought was kind of cute - when my father died, my youngest DD had just turned 5, and while I'd planned to bring her to the funeral, I thought going to the wakes would be too much for her, so she stayed with a friend.  After we picked her up, she heard her sisters mention they'd been to Grandpa's wake.  She immediately started crying, saying that she had wanted to go to the "wake up call" too.

My mother used to love to drink "Pepsi Free Diet Coke."
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MasterofSquirrels

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2010, 09:50:38 PM »
my co-worker often can't "phantom" how something happend.


Paper Roses

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2010, 10:19:10 PM »
Oh, and I have a friend who can't "empathize" enough how important something is.

And another who gets "livered" when something makes her extremely angry.

And here's one on myself:  I was once telling DH (we had just met at the time, and he was way too nice to laugh at me about it, but I did have a good laugh at myself) about a movie I'd seen where they were throwing "Mazel Tov" cocktails at something in an attempt to blow it up.
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Clara Bow

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2010, 01:55:12 PM »
One of my teachers told me that when she was in college the RA on her dorm hall was a hawk about people burning incest in their rooms to cover the smell of pot.
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Paper Roses

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #12 on: March 17, 2010, 01:57:10 PM »
At work once, I had to attend a meeting where a representative from our health insurance carrier was telling us about our benefits, one of which was "smoking sensation" classes.
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Giggity

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #13 on: March 17, 2010, 02:01:07 PM »
I always love being asked if I have something "Pacific" in mind. 

A (very un)esteemed member of Congress, who shall remain nameless but who is from my hometown (darn it) says "pacific" when she means "specific."

However, since she is about as sharp as a bag of wet hair, this is the least of her sins.
Words mean things.

LadyClaire

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Re: And here's to you, Mrs. Malaprop ...
« Reply #14 on: March 17, 2010, 02:05:16 PM »
When my sister got married, the officiant said "share your mutual love and infection" instead of "your mutual love and affection" during the vows.

Luckily my sister thought it was funny, but man it was hard not to break into hysterical giggles up there during the rest of the vows...