What weird/outrageous requests have you seen on Freecycle/Craigslist?

[CakeBeret]

NSFW language in this one making the rounds (I found it via Wil Wheaton) but the "ps I also babysit" absolutely makes it for me.

I do love a good Craigslist humor post. I read one roommate ad awhile back that had me hysterical.

[Spring Water on Sundays]

http://springfield.craigslist.org/cto/3878624212.html

Here's a funny one my DH sent me this morning for a 1993 Saturn sedan. "The windows have remined mercilessly un-tinted for 20 years so that members of the opposite sex can revel in your awesomeness."

[twiggy]

http://springfield.craigslist.org/cto/3878624212.html

Here's a funny one my DH sent me this morning for a 1993 Saturn sedan. "The windows have remined mercilessly un-tinted for 20 years so that members of the opposite sex can revel in your awesomeness."

My favorite part is "Purchased for 16 yr old that couldn't keep up his end of the bargain grade wise. See what mediocrity gets you? It gets you Saturnless and afoot. "

[mbbored]

http://springfield.craigslist.org/cto/3878624212.html

Here's a funny one my DH sent me this morning for a 1993 Saturn sedan. "The windows have remined mercilessly un-tinted for 20 years so that members of the opposite sex can revel in your awesomeness."

My favorite part is "Purchased for 16 yr old that couldn't keep up his end of the bargain grade wise. See what mediocrity gets you? It gets you Saturnless and afoot. "

Gotta love creative parenting.

[Shalamar]

I spied this ad on Kijiji one day:

Wanted:  Nemesis, arch-nemesis, or evil genius

The job doesn't require much:  just that we frequently have to have Mexican stand-off type scenarios when we spot each other in public.  Other duties might include shaking fist and staring when you pass me.  You may need to invite me for a drink in which you will attempt to poison me by switching drinks with me.  You will need to shout my last name into the sky while clenching your fists and falling to your knees.  You will also need to hatch evil plots that will continuously be foiled by yours truly.

If you truly want to succeed, you will need to own your own evil crime lab and have a unique evil laugh.  You may also need an evil mascot.  (No cats.)

Those who make the short list will be contacted by telepathy. 

P.S.  Please bring your own soundtrack.

[siamesecat2965]

There was a local news story today, a 21 year old guy tried to sell a baby for $100 on CL; apparently he felt the child stood in the way of his romantic intentions towards its mother! I saw reports it was his girlfriend, ex, but who really knows.  he was arrested, and last blurb i saw on the news, he was blaming his actions on medication.  Don't know if the mom was even aware of any of this, but really? Who thinks by getting rid of a child it will make someone interested in you?

Then again, anyone remember the Diane Downs case?

[Shalamar]

I do.   Maybe we should be thankful that he only tried to SELL the baby ....

[Cherry91]

I spied this ad on Kijiji one day:

Wanted:  Nemesis, arch-nemesis, or evil genius

The job doesn't require much:  just that we frequently have to have Mexican stand-off type scenarios when we spot each other in public.  Other duties might include shaking fist and staring when you pass me.  You may need to invite me for a drink in which you will attempt to poison me by switching drinks with me.  You will need to shout my last name into the sky while clenching your fists and falling to your knees.  You will also need to hatch evil plots that will continuously be foiled by yours truly.

If you truly want to succeed, you will need to own your own evil crime lab and have a unique evil laugh.  You may also need an evil mascot.  (No cats.)

Those who make the short list will be contacted by telepathy. 

P.S.  Please bring your own soundtrack.

At last, my time has come! I shall prepare my minions at once!

[Spring Water on Sundays]

Champagne tastes on a beer budget:
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3920395632.html

I also love how he snubs the only cars he could reasonably get at the price he's wanting to spend in decent working order: "Please do not offer me your Cavalier, Neon, Buick, 199x whatever or of the likes (at any price). They may be worth what you are asking, but they will not be a fit for me."

[Shalamar]

He thinks he's going to find a Lexus or a Hummer for $6,000?    Yeah, good luck with that, buddy.

[Spring Water on Sundays]

He thinks he's going to find a Lexus or a Hummer for $6,000?    Yeah, good luck with that, buddy.

He could find a luxury car for that price. It will probably have flood damaged electricals, extensive body rust, interior leather in need of replacement, a shady title and a family of mice living under the hood, though.

[Morty'sCleaningLady]

Champagne tastes on a beer budget:
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3920395632.html

I also love how he snubs the only cars he could reasonably get at the price he's wanting to spend in decent working order: "Please do not offer me your Cavalier, Neon, Buick, 199x whatever or of the likes (at any price). They may be worth what you are asking, but they will not be a fit for me."

Just paid my excise tax on my 2007 Subaru and the Blue Book value is $14000.

[Morty'sCleaningLady]

I'm currently job hunting.  I applied for an Exec Admin role posted on Craigslist, nothing too special about the ad.

Yippee, I got a response!  Except, in spite of including my cover letter, the 'job' was to have my car shrink wrapped to advertise energy drinks.  Umm, I'm 41, begrudgingly drag myself to Curves periodically, and could stand to lose 40 pounds.  No one would buy an energy drink from me (brownies, cupcakes, mint juleps, sure -- exercise suppliments and the newest Gatorade, heck no!)

[otterwoman]

I'm currently job hunting.  I applied for an Exec Admin role posted on Craigslist, nothing too special about the ad.

Yippee, I got a response!  Except, in spite of including my cover letter, the 'job' was to have my car shrink wrapped to advertise energy drinks.  Umm, I'm 41, begrudgingly drag myself to Curves periodically, and could stand to lose 40 pounds.  No one would buy an energy drink from me (brownies, cupcakes, mint juleps, sure -- exercise suppliments and the newest Gatorade, heck no!)

Hey, it's money...

Unless you later end up posting about this in the scammers thread.

[TootsNYC]

Chest of drawers is the UK term for it.    Over here, you'll find a dresser in the kitchen - a free standing (usually) piece of furniture made of cupboards with shelves above it - something you might possibly call a hutch?  Over here, a hutch is an outdoor 'crate' type home for a pet rabbit...

Divided by a common language, indeed.

I was raised with the distinction that a 'chest of drawers' was taller than it was wide, and had a flat top with no mirror, as the mirror would be too high for most humans. A 'dresser' was low enough that a mirror could go on top, and it was usually wider than it was tall. A 'hutch' or 'china cabinet' was like a dresser, but instead of a mirror, it had shelves with glass doors, so that you could display your dishes in your dining room. It could also be the shelves that go over a computer desk. And yes, you keep rabbits in a hutch, which stands up on legs like the cabinets, and is open so it displays the rabbits.

That's a dressing table, over here.  We'd better stop there, as the thread is getting derailed a bit, but I do find the differences amusing.

We have dressing tables here--they're for sitting at. A dresser is not for sitting at. Here, anyway.

He thinks he's going to find a Lexus or a Hummer for $6,000?    Yeah, good luck with that, buddy.

He could find a luxury car for that price. It will probably have flood damaged electricals, extensive body rust, interior leather in need of replacement, a shady title and a family of mice living under the hood, though.

Maybe he's soliciting stolen vehicles?