The way I see it, the problem is kind of like the problem of a contagious disease.
If a kid had chicken pox, for example, or measles, or even lice, the kid would be isolated at home (possibly in a hospital) and not allowed to go to school with other students and teachers who might catch it. The student wouldn't be badly treated or made to feel ashamed, but also wouldn't be allowed to infect others. And the student would receive proper medical care to restore them to health, and then be able to return to school.
I know, it's not as easy when it's some kind of behavior problem. The school can't just say to a kid "Go away and stay away until you can stop being disruptive". But I wish there was more of a desire on the part of schools to balance the needs of one student with the needs of many students. It should be possible for "that" kid to get appropriate, non-shaming treatment in an appropriate setting (be that another classroom, another school, home school, a boarding school, or whatever) and only return to the mainstream classroom when they are well enough to do so.
Spreading chicken pox is not allowed. Spreading chaos should not be allowed either.
That is a really interesting thought, and one that I agree with, in the spirit of what you're saying.
The sad reality is that a lot of behavioral problems come directly from the home, from the parents parenting poorly (which could be anything from outright abuse, to overly permissive parents who thought that little Timmy kicking toys when he was 2 was cute, so now at 8, little Timmy kicks his classmates, because he learned that it's cute), or from other negative factors (living in an unsafe neighborhood, living in a home that is unsafe (mold, allergens, etc)). And sometimes the child just has severe personality issues, which the parents aren't equipped to handle, and services that teach parents how to handle those issues (assuming that the parent agrees that the child has problems AND is in a financial situation where they can take the time to go to classes/seminars) are few are far between. No good solutions, the way the system is currently set up.
That's a good point. It almost doesn't matter what people at the school desire to do, given that there are so few actual options. Maybe I should have said that society, not just the school, should take a stronger interest in this, in terms of setting up adequate facilities with good teachers, etc., so students who are "infecting" others with their spreading of chaos can have the appropriate resources to "get better" (whatever "get better" might mean for a given situation).
I agree with that with every fiber of my being. There are so few resources for parents of troubled children, it's incredibly hard to find good programs in much of the US. I have a friend who works with troubled kids in PA. She is paid really low money to deal with a huge amount of stress: Kids that bite, kick, swear, scream, claw, have seizures, make threats. Parents who have extremely inflated ideas of how much progress she can make with the kids in a few sessions. Parents who don't understand that they also need to do certain things to improve their kids behavior (if your child needs behavior therapy, and the behavioral therapist tells you that when Timmy does X at home, you need to respond with Y, she's not actually calling you a bad parent. She's sharing what she's worked out will help Timmy improve, and all the adults in Timmy's life need to do Y thing, or Timmy will only improve with my friend, not with everybody else).
And the sad thing is, she sees a lot of kids that, if there were more money for them to have more one-on-one instruction, and the parents were on board, they would
improve vastly. She's had several "success stories" that ended horribly because once the child improved, the parents stopped doing the things that helped the child improve, so the child slid back into bad behaviors.
I don't know how she does it. And for a ridiculously small sum of money a year, especially considering the education she got to be able to do these therapies with children. It's really awful.