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  • August 29, 2016, 02:25:36 AM

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Author Topic: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread  (Read 1644691 times)

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WolfWay

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #11550 on: August 22, 2016, 11:52:16 PM »
Is it possible or even advisable to teach someone to NOT be passive aggressive?  My daughter (10) is so PA that it hurts!  I'm wondering if there is a way to teach her how to communicate without resorting to PA behavior.

Example:
She was angry at me yesterday for some unknown reason (hormones!?!) and wrote me a note, "You HATE me!" Not, "I hate you!" which would be annoying but at least she would be telling me how SHE feels but "You HATE me!"  Well, thank you for telling me how I feel!  I just read it and didn't respond besides looking at her and then went back to my book.

Sigh.

I would start out by asking her why she thinks I hate her.

Instead of ignoring her PAness and going back to your book, open the lines of communication "I don't know what you mean by this note. Please explain your thoughts" and go from there.

Do you have other examples? Because I'm not sure that it is PA on her part. She doesn't even know what that means.
I did something very similar when I was about 10-ish. I think in my case (from what I can remember of the time it happened) I wanted reassurance that my mum did love me (I'm not sure if we'd had an argument and she was angry at me, or I was just feeling neglected or ignored. I was trying to provoke her into saying she did love me). It's perhaps less PA and more fishing for compliments/affection kind of thing?

Or else she's being overly dramatic and wants a reason to wallow in her anger and "pain" (I was an overly dramatic child) and was trying to provoke a fight so she had something to genuinely be angry about. ("My mom yelled at me, I hate my life! Noone understands my pain!" <flings self on bed and sobs about how unfair everything is>. Hormones make you a bit insufferable from what I remember of me at that age)
« Last Edit: August 22, 2016, 11:54:40 PM by WolfWay »
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

guihong

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #11551 on: August 27, 2016, 02:09:57 AM »
I might have already asked this  ::), and I sure hope it's an OK question (that it's "stupid" I already know).

I like the show Bring It!, about a mostly African-American dance team in Jackson, MS.  In nearly every episode, as the team gathers at the competition venue, most of the members are wearing what look like shower caps.  Why?



HoneyBee42

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #11552 on: August 27, 2016, 06:37:04 AM »
I might have already asked this  ::), and I sure hope it's an OK question (that it's "stupid" I already know).

I like the show Bring It!, about a mostly African-American dance team in Jackson, MS.  In nearly every episode, as the team gathers at the competition venue, most of the members are wearing what look like shower caps.  Why?
Could they actually be do-rags?  (Not familiar with the show, but taking a guess). 

Mustard

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #11553 on: August 27, 2016, 06:45:22 AM »
I might have already asked this  ::), and I sure hope it's an OK question (that it's "stupid" I already know).

I like the show Bring It!, about a mostly African-American dance team in Jackson, MS.  In nearly every episode, as the team gathers at the competition venue, most of the members are wearing what look like shower caps.  Why?

I was reading the thread about a school coach wanting someone's daughter to have straight hair and someone mentioned hair products which sent me off to look at hairstyles for African Americans; I had no idea that they were so complicated, being a 'wash and wear' kinda gal!  One young lady plaited her hair before going to bed and then wore a shower-type hat overnight, before going onto the next stage of her 'do.  I wonder if you've seen the performers at that stage?

Alicia

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #11554 on: August 27, 2016, 09:42:02 AM »
Most likely they are these satin caps that look like shower caps but that allow you to sleep on your hairdo without ruining it.

Hillia

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #11555 on: August 27, 2016, 11:36:39 AM »
I think there are also conditioning treatments that you leave on your hair and cover with a plastic cap to prevent messes and help the oils soak in

PastryGoddess

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #11556 on: August 27, 2016, 02:12:00 PM »
Most likely they are these satin caps that look like shower caps but that allow you to sleep on your hairdo without ruining it.

Yes they are sleep caps and allow the hair to remain in it's style without getting messed up. 
Maryland

PastryGoddess

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Re: The "This Might Be A Stupid Question, But...." Thread
« Reply #11557 on: August 27, 2016, 02:13:05 PM »
I might have already asked this  ::), and I sure hope it's an OK question (that it's "stupid" I already know).

I like the show Bring It!, about a mostly African-American dance team in Jackson, MS.  In nearly every episode, as the team gathers at the competition venue, most of the members are wearing what look like shower caps.  Why?
Could they actually be do-rags?  (Not familiar with the show, but taking a guess). 

Do-rags are designed to lay tight to the head keeping the hair flat and in place. 
Maryland