What little things drive you completely up the wall....?

[RingTailedLemur]

I was told to my face, by a work colleague, that is was "morally wrong" for me to work with small children because my childfree choice meant I clearly didn't like kids.

[snowflake]

[snip]

Wow.  Some of you must be surrounded by really horrible people.  I have never, not once, heard anyone say any of these things.  To me or to anyone else.  I consider myself fortunate.

Nobody has said that to me personally (I only have biological children) but I've seen words to that extent on message boards. I've seen people arguing that if you can conceive naturally, you have no business adopting. I've also read that being infertile doesn't entitle a person to someone else's child. The internet is full of ugliness.

Internet.  There you go. 

The internet isn't real life.  People on the internet hide behind their screens and can and do say vile things.  That doesn't mean people REALLY think and behave this way.  I wouldn't take anything done or said on the internet to heart. 

I'd be very surprised if the things stated above were actually said out loud, in person, to anyone.  I am not surprised to read that those things were posted on the internet.   There is a huge, vast difference between the two.  One is real and one is not.

I'm just going to point out that for the first 30 years of my life I had never heard any of this either.  (Well, except that I was selfish for not having children already.)   Everything I posted has been said to my face (or to my friend's face) by a perfectly normal person.  I've discovered that if you gain 25 lbs taking fertility meds or start on a huge house overall so you pass foster inspection or indeed start wandering around with various and sundry children that you might adopt - opinions just come right out of the woodwork.

These aren't horrible people either.  Most of them are very kind people who are pleasant to talk to, do community service, and love their dogs.  The thing is, when the welfare of children is at stake, most people are very opinionated.  But this is a subject that comes up infrequently enough that the opinions really don't get the rough edges worn off.  Most of the opinions are based on ignorance of what the social services system really looks like.

People who are my good friends have asked me, "Is it true that..." Or "Is this accurate?"  But I don't get to have that discussion with everyone who is curious, opinionated and opens their mouth.

Most people saying these things mean well and think they are making the world a better place.  While I wish they wouldn't, I'm sort of at the place where this is funnier than it is offensive.  I just sort of smile and suggest that they volunteer as a mentor or become a foster parent so they can help with the rescue.  Surely someday someone will take me up on that. 

The whole point of sharing that is to tell anyone who is being told that they are being selfish, that they will end up with the label one way or another.  There is no getting away from it.  I just embrace it.

[Venus193]

This is going to sound small compared to the previous several pages but...

Going into a store during the current shopping season and hearing competing Christmas music when standing in the main display area (there is an annoying electronic machine playing a simplistic tune at the entrance and a Muzak or radio station playing in the rear).

[Lady Snowdon]

It drives me crazy when I try to give someone information about my body, and they reject it for no reason.  For example, I had to get blood drawn today.  I told my phlebotomist "Use this vein in the middle of my left arm.  The vein on the side near my elbow looks good, but leaves me with bruises, and doesn't give enough blood for testing.".  The guy stood there and poked at my arm for a good ten minutes, saying things like "Are you sure?  This is the vein?  How do you know this is a good vein?  What about your other arm?  Why this vein?".  I was ready to smack him by the end of it! 

[Adelaide]

This is a total White Whine, but the baristas at the Starbucks in my apartment complex are just starting out and they were so busy chatting it up behind the counter, congratulating themselves for "knowing their way around the espresso machine" and "surviving training" that there was zero sugar in my coffee. I almost died when I took a sip. I don't consider Starbucks coffee to be "good" as much as it props my eyelids open, and I can't drink it without some heavy doctoring, including their syrup.

[Tea Drinker]

Stores that play the exact same sequence of music in the exact same order every morning.

I can accept that the place I sometimes get tea in the morning is playing Christmas music this time of year. But do they have to start the exact sequence of songs every morning when the shop opens, so regular customers hear the same small snippet of it every time we're there? (It's not that unusual for a particular person to get their coffee, tea, sandwich, or such at about the same time every morning.) I know there are a finite number of reasonable holiday songs, but I'm fairly sure that number is greater than five. ("Reasonable" meaning that they are unlikely to cause complaints from people who don't object to all Christmas/winter holiday music.)

[laud_shy_girl]

Every one I seem to come in to contact with right now. (Especially my sister.)

They all think they know more about what my baby wants/needs than me. They tell me what she wants/I should be doing x y z... and get huffy when I tell them I have it under control, thank you.

Some of these people have been around Baby Girl only 2 or 3 times. Have no experience with kids, yet still feel the need to tell me Baby Girl must be...!



 

[Venus193]

Stores that play the exact same sequence of music in the exact same order every morning.

I can accept that the place I sometimes get tea in the morning is playing Christmas music this time of year. But do they have to start the exact sequence of songs every morning when the shop opens, so regular customers hear the same small snippet of it every time we're there? (It's not that unusual for a particular person to get their coffee, tea, sandwich, or such at about the same time every morning.) I know there are a finite number of reasonable holiday songs, but I'm fairly sure that number is greater than five. ("Reasonable" meaning that they are unlikely to cause complaints from people who don't object to all Christmas/winter holiday music.)

My friend Blanche was a fragrance sales associate for many years and she grew to hate all holiday music thanks to this practice.  One famous store totally destroyed The Nutcracker Suite for her.

[Lynnv]

Stores that play the exact same sequence of music in the exact same order every morning.

I can accept that the place I sometimes get tea in the morning is playing Christmas music this time of year. But do they have to start the exact sequence of songs every morning when the shop opens, so regular customers hear the same small snippet of it every time we're there? (It's not that unusual for a particular person to get their coffee, tea, sandwich, or such at about the same time every morning.) I know there are a finite number of reasonable holiday songs, but I'm fairly sure that number is greater than five. ("Reasonable" meaning that they are unlikely to cause complaints from people who don't object to all Christmas/winter holiday music.)

My friend Blanche was a fragrance sales associate for many years and she grew to hate all holiday music thanks to this practice.  One famous store totally destroyed The Nutcracker Suite for her.

DH worked in a dying mall over Christmas one year.  The holiday music tape broke and (what with the mall dying) the management was unwilling to shell out to fix or replace the tape.  So they spliced it.  And it had something like 6 or 8 songs left.  DH hates every single one of them.  But he especially hates (hates, hates, hates) "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" and "Jingle Bells Rock" because, of the songs that remained after the cheapie repair, each of those had 2 versions.

[Dazi]

I'm sure every crafter has run into this. 

Someone sees a gift or paid item you made for someone else and just has to have one.  Then offers (or not) to furnish the supplies.  Totally balking at what you tell them item will cost them because you expect to be paid for something that takes XXX amount of time.  So yes, supplies might only be $10, $20, $50 or whatever, but item might take 10 minutes or 20+ hours to complete.  So no, you can't tack on $20 extra for me and expect me to say yes for a 20+ hour project.

If you purchase supplies, I will happily teach you how to do craft.


Surprisingly, no one has EVER taken me up on this offer.

[Dr. F.]

When my mom tells me important information just AFTER the relevant point in time. For instance, she told me my entire family is allergic to sulfa antibiotics, and my uncle nearly died from taking them, right after I took the first dose. (FTR, I broke out in oozing hives head-to-toe the week before my PhD qualifying exams.)

Last night, as I was on the phone with her and talking about how incredibly tired I was and happy that I'd finally finished making all 10 different kinds of treats and was busy boxing them up to ship, she said, "Oh, by the way, did I tell you that your sister just went gluten-free?" ARRGGHH!

In fact, it's not as bad as it might be, as the box contains some flourless chocolate cookies and some sour gummies, as well as spiced nuts. But, she knew what I was making for the last 2 weeks! Couldn't she tell me before then?

[kherbert05]

It drives me crazy when I try to give someone information about my body, and they reject it for no reason.  For example, I had to get blood drawn today.  I told my phlebotomist "Use this vein in the middle of my left arm.  The vein on the side near my elbow looks good, but leaves me with bruises, and doesn't give enough blood for testing.".  The guy stood there and poked at my arm for a good ten minutes, saying things like "Are you sure?  This is the vein?  How do you know this is a good vein?  What about your other arm?  Why this vein?".  I was ready to smack him by the end of it!

One of (probably the only) good thing about having multiple chronic possibly life threatening conditions from birth - is my parents taught me to FIRE medical personnel that will. not. listen.


Tell me to take medication that I have previously had negative reactions to (bad side effects not allergic reactions) I'll fire you.


Tell me I can't react to peanuts by touching them - I'll fire you.
I love my current doctor because he respects that I know my body. The first time he met me he said Ok tell me what has worked and what has not worked for you in the past.


Not the last time but the time before that that media declared "Peanut Allergy Cured" my friends and family were all over me to ask my doctor about it. So when I made my appointment for my physical and they asked if I had anything I wanted to discuss specifically I mentioned the media blitz about this new treatment. The person said, "That sounds like something he is going to have to research. Do you feel comfortable faxing, dropping off, or emailing your questions so he can look into it? So I e-mailed my questions.


At my appointment he had the research and had the allergist in the practice come in for a consultation. We quickly determined that the new treatment (FDA approved for airborn/pollen allergies not peanuts) was not a good idea for me. They asked me some specific questions about my last attempt at allergy shots - and determined that wasn't an option either. (Basically I was getting the lowest exposure to the allergens possible and my arm would swell up like I had a golf ball under my skin and several times I had to have epi administered. I quit taking them after the 2nd or 3rd time.

[Emmy]

[snip]

Wow.  Some of you must be surrounded by really horrible people.  I have never, not once, heard anyone say any of these things.  To me or to anyone else.  I consider myself fortunate.

Nobody has said that to me personally (I only have biological children) but I've seen words to that extent on message boards. I've seen people arguing that if you can conceive naturally, you have no business adopting. I've also read that being infertile doesn't entitle a person to someone else's child. The internet is full of ugliness.

Internet.  There you go. 

The internet isn't real life.  People on the internet hide behind their screens and can and do say vile things.  That doesn't mean people REALLY think and behave this way.  I wouldn't take anything done or said on the internet to heart. 

I'd be very surprised if the things stated above were actually said out loud, in person, to anyone.  I am not surprised to read that those things were posted on the internet.   There is a huge, vast difference between the two.  One is real and one is not.

I do think people express over the internet what they would never be brave enough to say to somebody in person.

Some other opinions I heard over the internet are that people who have 'too many' children are selfish because they just want to populate the world with copies of themselves and take up resources.

People who have only one or two children are selfish because they don't want to invest the hard work into raising a bigger family.

[Kendo_Bunny]

I'm sure every crafter has run into this. 

Someone sees a gift or paid item you made for someone else and just has to have one.  Then offers (or not) to furnish the supplies.  Totally balking at what you tell them item will cost them because you expect to be paid for something that takes XXX amount of time.  So yes, supplies might only be $10, $20, $50 or whatever, but item might take 10 minutes or 20+ hours to complete.  So no, you can't tack on $20 extra for me and expect me to say yes for a 20+ hour project.

If you purchase supplies, I will happily teach you how to do craft.


Surprisingly, no one has EVER taken me up on this offer.

Are you in Virginia? Because I would totally take you up on that.

[Kaymyth]

When my mom tells me important information just AFTER the relevant point in time. For instance, she told me my entire family is allergic to sulfa antibiotics, and my uncle nearly died from taking them, right after I took the first dose. (FTR, I broke out in oozing hives head-to-toe the week before my PhD qualifying exams.)

Oh, ye furry little purple gods, this.

In my case, though, it wasn't an allergy, just a complete immunity.  Myself, my dad, grandmother, and a sizeable chunk of that side of my family are immune to opioids.  Thanks, Dad, but that bit of family history would've been great to know BEFORE I had had my gallbladder surgery.  In recovery in the hospital, they gave me morphine for the pain, and all the stupid stuff did was give me sleep apnea.  So I was still in pain, and now couldn't even fall asleep to escape it.  They sent me home with some supposedly strong pain medicine, and it did nothing (except make me throw up after an hour, possibly the most unpleasant thing that can happen to a person after having abdominal surgery).  I wound up glaring at the bottle for a moment before taking some naproxen and finally getting some relief.