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  • November 23, 2017, 07:37:42 AM

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Author Topic: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?  (Read 4529913 times)

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vintagegal

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25890 on: October 20, 2017, 04:16:27 PM »
I have had retirement accounts with the same firm for the last 30 years at least. While DH was alive, never heard a peep out of them. Now that I am a widow, they have assigned someone to me who wants to meet with me for a "review". Not gonna happen. I am ignoring their messages (at least 3 so far).

jpcher

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25891 on: October 20, 2017, 04:54:06 PM »
I have had retirement accounts with the same firm for the last 30 years at least. While DH was alive, never heard a peep out of them. Now that I am a widow, they have assigned someone to me who wants to meet with me for a "review". Not gonna happen. I am ignoring their messages (at least 3 so far).

Curious as to why you don't want to review your accounts with them?

I received LDH's retirement account when he passed away, went in to discuss the account (ensured that if I passed away my DDs were beneficiaries, IMPORTANT! etc.) I found out that, as a widow, I could start drawing on these funds (even if I don't actually retire) at an earlier age than what I thought.

After that initial meeting I ignored their requests for years, but recently went in for an update on the account. It wasn't painful but it was informative, I did change a few things.

I strongly suggest that you schedule a meeting, especially since there is a change of status. There might be papers to be signed, new beneficiaries to be named, other widow information that you are not aware of.



My condolences on your loss of a loved one, vintagegal.


HoneyBee42

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25892 on: October 20, 2017, 06:15:41 PM »

My "little thing" for the day - offices that automatically schedule an appointment with you when you haven't requested one. My eye doctor automatically scheduled an annual appointment for me. I didn't plan to see them again until January, because I don't have eye insurance this year.  I don't mind reminders that it's time to schedule an appointment, but don't just schedule one for me and assume, 1) that I need it, and 2) that the appointment fits my schedule.

My eye doctor did that to me. We were on vacation, I just ignored it (they only had my home phone), and I was not charged for the appointment. Then the next time I said please do do not do that. They said they wouldnít but tried it again, and I changed doctors to a place that would not schedule for me and told doc #1 why.
Tangential to this: pharmacies that nag you. On my list of things to do sometime this week is to switch my entire family's prescriptions to a different pharmacy over constant text and phone "reminders", and auto-refills that I cannot get to stop.  I request that they be stopped, and they might be for a month, but then they start up again.  This month the phone calls started up, and it's 2-3 every single day, and to the point where I've actually blocked the pharmacy's phone number.  I've had enough.  I do not want auto-refill.  I've told them that.  My reasons why shouldn't matter, but for the record, it's because for the last year, we can't seem to find stable doses of anything.  We find a good dose for one medication and it screws up another, so we adjust that one and it throws off a third, and then adjusting that messes up the first, so we try something else.  Automatically refilling stuff messes up insurance payments which makes my life more difficult than it already is. I should only have to tell them once.  The fact that they keep putting everything back on auto refill every time I go in to manually refill prescriptions is annoying enough.  Then the text messages started.  I told them to stop.  They didn't.  And now the phone calls.  I'm done.  I'm not dealing with this any more.  In their greed to fill more prescriptions, they lost everything, not just for me, but for my entire family.
Or, yet another note--when the pharmacy decides to try to re-write the script.  Both of my parents have medical conditions for which they are on regular medication (anti-seizure for my mom, drugs for a-fib and control of diabetes for my dad), and for these, they *do* like having the 90 day fills (more convenient to not have to go every month).  But when my mom fell and hurt herself and was put on a couple of meds to resolve the issue (a pain killer and a muscle relaxant) for which her dr had written an Rx for 10 days of medication, the pharmacy tried to change it to 90 days and then wouldn't fill it because the dr's office had closed for the day (family emergency--it had been two brothers, one of them died very unexpectedly) because they needed the dr's auth to extend it to 90 days ... unnecessarily extending the time my mom was in pain.  Seriously, now---not all drugs need to be 90 days, those should be "maintenance meds" not acute need meds (like pain meds after an accident or antibiotics).  If the dr wrote the script for 10 days, leave it alone. 

vintagegal

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25893 on: October 20, 2017, 08:20:40 PM »
I have had retirement accounts with the same firm for the last 30 years at least. While DH was alive, never heard a peep out of them. Now that I am a widow, they have assigned someone to me who wants to meet with me for a "review". Not gonna happen. I am ignoring their messages (at least 3 so far).

Curious as to why you don't want to review your accounts with them?

I received LDH's retirement account when he passed away, went in to discuss the account (ensured that if I passed away my DDs were beneficiaries, IMPORTANT! etc.) I found out that, as a widow, I could start drawing on these funds (even if I don't actually retire) at an earlier age than what I thought.

After that initial meeting I ignored their requests for years, but recently went in for an update on the account. It wasn't painful but it was informative, I did change a few things.

I strongly suggest that you schedule a meeting, especially since there is a change of status. There might be papers to be signed, new beneficiaries to be named, other widow information that you are not aware of.



My condolences on your loss of a loved one, vintagegal.

Thank you. I have been a widow for almost 3 years. I know all about the inherited IRA, etc. All that is settled. I am happy with the mix of investments I have and know how to tweak it when I want.

The person "assigned" to me initially wanted me to change some annuities from another firm to his firm (resulting in a big commission for him). I had a financial review with a financial planner at my bank and she pointed out that the ones I had were better than the ones he wanted me to change to.  So I don't really trust him. I don't like meeting with someone in person in this kind of situation, I am somewhat of an introvert.

jpcher

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25894 on: October 21, 2017, 09:10:52 AM »
Thanks for the clarification, vintagegal. Putting it that way, yes it would bug me as well.

Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25895 on: October 21, 2017, 11:01:19 AM »
The MTA.  They are going to renovate my nearest subway station so starting next week it will be closed until spring.  That). means I will either have to take the other train that's the same distance away or walk to the next stop on my favored one when the other train's schedule is a mess (like on weekends).  If I didn't need a cane because of an unstable left knee it wouldn't bother me so much.





Tea Drinker

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25896 on: October 21, 2017, 11:23:05 AM »
I have had retirement accounts with the same firm for the last 30 years at least. While DH was alive, never heard a peep out of them. Now that I am a widow, they have assigned someone to me who wants to meet with me for a "review". Not gonna happen. I am ignoring their messages (at least 3 so far).

Curious as to why you don't want to review your accounts with them?

I received LDH's retirement account when he passed away, went in to discuss the account (ensured that if I passed away my DDs were beneficiaries, IMPORTANT! etc.) I found out that, as a widow, I could start drawing on these funds (even if I don't actually retire) at an earlier age than what I thought.

After that initial meeting I ignored their requests for years, but recently went in for an update on the account. It wasn't painful but it was informative, I did change a few things.

I strongly suggest that you schedule a meeting, especially since there is a change of status. There might be papers to be signed, new beneficiaries to be named, other widow information that you are not aware of.



My condolences on your loss of a loved one, vintagegal.

Thank you. I have been a widow for almost 3 years. I know all about the inherited IRA, etc. All that is settled. I am happy with the mix of investments I have and know how to tweak it when I want.

The person "assigned" to me initially wanted me to change some annuities from another firm to his firm (resulting in a big commission for him). I had a financial review with a financial planner at my bank and she pointed out that the ones I had were better than the ones he wanted me to change to.  So I don't really trust him. I don't like meeting with someone in person in this kind of situation, I am somewhat of an introvert.

I would suggest calling a manager at that firm if possible, and telling them to take this person off your account, because you don't trust him. If and when you want to discuss your finances with someone else there, you can call and make an appointment.

Remember: you not only don't have to work with this person who was trying to get a commission by doing something that would have hurt you financially, you probably don't have to work with that company at all. If they push back with something like "but he's the person assigned to your account," you don't have to accept it, because there are other options. You don't have to work with him. You're trying to decide between moving all your accounts to another firm, or having them un-assign him to your account without moving the money.

I would hope that the firm's response to "I don't want him touching my accounts because I don't trust him" would be either "Of course we'll change that. I'm sorry" or "Of course we'll change that. Would you mind telling me why you don't trust him" [in case we need to do something about it], since some people would have objective reasons, like yours, but some might be "I don't know, he just feels wrong somehow" or "I never trust a man in a bow tie." If it's closer to "but he's your financial advisor" or "our system won't let us do that," that sounds like an argument for taking your money elsewhere.

(All my retirement money is in one place. They periodically send me mail suggesting that I meet with someone to discuss my retirement plans, and I throw it away, and that's that.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

Sirius

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25897 on: October 24, 2017, 06:01:14 PM »
I'm having hip replacement surgery on November the 3rd (yay!) and my surgeon wants me to stop some of my medications beforehand (fish oil is an anticoagulant and I'm taking what could appropriately be described as 'heroic doses' of it, and my other meds are immune suppressants), so I needed to talk to my rheumatologist about an appropriate schedule for tapering them off and then restarting them. I emailed him yesterday, and he phoned me right at the beginning of his office hours this morning.

The discussion about my medications took a couple of minutes. The part where I had to convince him that my surgeon isn't being horrendously imprudent doing a hip replacement on a 44 year old took a lot longer. ::)

(Yes, the 'standard' age for this procedure is now mid-to-late 60s, down from mid-to-late 70s. But. The new surgery is much easier to recover from than the old procedure, and the new prostheses are expected to last a lot longer, so I may not need to have it replaced, and if I do need a replacement then I'll be in much better shape to have it done than if I spent twenty years unable to walk more than half a block at a time waiting to be 'old enough' to have the surgery, and - most importantly - even if nothing had changed with the procedure and the hardware, I need a hip replacement now!)

Just because something is the standard doesn't mean there aren't special cases.  For instance, Mr. Sirius was only 45 years old, but had a family history of prostate cancer.  According to the standard he shouldn't have had his prostate-specific antigen (PSA) checked for another five years, but the nurse practitioner we were seeing at the time tacked a PSA onto a list of labs he needed.  The PSA came back abnormal.  It was repeated, and was even more abnormal, so the NP sent Mr. Sirius to a urologist, who did a biopsy.  Out of 27 biopsy cores from his prostate, he had cancer in one biopsy core.  He underwent a prostatectomy, and has been cancer-free since.   

Lady Snowdon

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25898 on: October 24, 2017, 08:10:46 PM »
When my phone messes up and I don't catch it.  I was selling some of my yarn online, and a lady offered $45 for three skeins, plus $5 shipping.  I messaged her intending to say that I would take $50 for the three skeins plus $5 shipping.  My phone deleted part of the sentence, and I didn't catch it, so I sent a message agreeing to her terms.  That's not too bad - it's only a $5 loss.  Except I mailed it today, and the package was .3 oz too heavy for first class mail and ended up having to be sent priority for about $4 more than I'd planned.  The additional $5 I wanted to charge would have really come in handy! 

ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25899 on: October 25, 2017, 07:27:18 AM »
My office building also has a university department with a floor of classrooms. We seem to run into more trouble with giant messes, SS behavior, and inconsiderate things when the students are here.

Some time Monday, a bathroom stall on my floor was locked from the inside and the person got out another way. These are brand new, remodeled bathrooms, and we only have four available stalls in that bathroom to begin with. I noticed it, but didn't think much.

Yesterday, I find our housekeeping staff person trying to get the door open, so she could clean. She told me she called maintenance.

What kind of person over the age of 10 years old does that?

Oh, and the next time I hear a student crying because something of theirs was stolen, I'll have to bite my tongue. We keep finding high end, brand name items left in the bathroom, lobby, and elevators. The student claims it was stolen, but no, they left it somewhere and don't remember where it was.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

GreenHall

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25900 on: October 25, 2017, 08:38:06 AM »
My mom works in the fine arts building here.  Apparently they had a project to do something in a public space or something.  One person took over a bathroom stall (not the handicapped stall, so plus .5 points there).  Another's project was in the stairwell.

They were 1 day things, but I can't help thinking the stairwell could be dangerous.

(Those were just the ones that directly impacted her, and hopefully wont be too identifying.  Another resulted in a visit from a bomb squad...)

ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25901 on: October 25, 2017, 10:58:08 AM »
I managed to get the door open using the handle of a feather duster.  ::)
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

TracyXJ

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25902 on: October 25, 2017, 11:08:57 AM »
Office things...

Our internet was out all day yesterday due to some storms from the day before.  While we can email within the office, we can't send or receive emails outside of it or make phone calls on the internet based phone system.  And you never realize how often you look up things online until you can't anymore.

Our ladies restroom has a serial non-flusher.  She (I assume it's not a man sneaking into the women's) likes to use a specific stall and doesn't flush.  At all.  Sometimes when someone flushes, it doesn't all go down and you end up with shredded paper in the water.  No, this is full on not flushing or even trying.  I find it at least once a day. 

Also in the bathroom problem:  the cleaning crew has decided that instead of refilling the soap dispensers with soap, they'll just add water!  Now we wash our hands and launch slightly soapy water across the room when you pump it. 

HoneyBee42

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25903 on: October 25, 2017, 11:05:15 PM »
Office things...

Also in the bathroom problem:  the cleaning crew has decided that instead of refilling the soap dispensers with soap, they'll just add water!  Now we wash our hands and launch slightly soapy water across the room when you pump it.

At least your cleaning crew is putting something in the dispensers ....  There's one on the floor where I work that has been empty since Friday.  It's always kind of a guess as to which soap dispenser will give soap, which faucets will work (they're hands-free, and a bit of a pain in that regard) and whether there will be paper towels or not.

Girlie

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #25904 on: October 27, 2017, 03:03:36 PM »
Back in August, I posted about being asked my mom (a mostly innocent victim) to help plan my DB and his FW's rehearsal dinner.

Well, the day is upon us.

I've mostly stayed out of the wedding plans, so I don't have a lot to offer you, but here are a few items of note:

1. I asked four times for addresses of the people who would be invited to the rehearsal dinner. Never got them. I let them know that it was now THEIR responsibility to pass on the invitations to everyone. I can only do so much, and I'm not going to wring my hands if THEY are unprepared and uncooperative.

2. An out-of-state couple who is bringing their four-year-old to the rehearsal dinner was told (by FSIL, not by my mom) that they would have to pay for the child's food. The child is invited to the wedding, but not to the rehearsal dinner. I told my mom that whatever FSIL might say, SHE was the host and that was inappropriate because 1. where are out-of-state guests supposed to find childcare?, and 2. There are twenty-six people invited to this dinner, including other kids, and you're going to single out one little four-year-old?  :o Like.....why??? It makes no sense to me. 

3. We have also gotten word that the women in the church who are catering their meal have grown a little weary of dealing with them because of their absolute unresponsiveness. Apparently, they've been asked about guest count, food items (baked potato bar, ONLY, for a 1:00pm wedding), etc., and they have had little cooperation. The women in our church are doing this for FREE, out of an abundance of love and care, and my DB and FSIL are obviously not appreciative. I find it irritating in the extreme, but am keeping my mouth shut.

4. This one isn't their fault, but apparently, one of the bridesmaids waited until the week of the wedding to back out because her grandmother apparently has to have cataract surgery. The wedding is tomorrow (Saturday), and the bridesmaid called my FSIL Monday evening. From what I understand, the bridesmaid is not her grandmother's caretaker, and the procedure is, as usual, completely outpatient with no expected difficulties.

Should I discover anything else that "drives me up the wall" about this wedding, I will certainly let you know!