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Author Topic: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?  (Read 5493269 times)

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Cami

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9375 on: October 08, 2012, 09:31:47 AM »
Well, it happened again. My SIL didn't show up for another family event. The thing is, she doesn't bring a whole lot to the table in terms of company or party quality--but it's just downright rude (this event was MIL's birthday, for heck's sake.) And she doesn't call to tell them courteously that she won't be coming, she just doesn't show up. She also goes to the trouble of telling the whole Facebook world just how sick she is. Her mystery illnesses always begin ~12 hours before the event, and somehow are gone by the next day so she can go camping/to the lake/drinking/what have you. Every time she posts "I'm sick" I have to stop myself from replying with something snarky. (And at this point I'm sure lots of people are saying, "Well, she could be legitimately sick..." Trust me, I've been with DH for 10 years. Once in a while? Sure. 90% of all events? Seems a bit unlikely.) The rudeness just ticks me off to no degree. Have I mentioned that they live less than two miles from FIL/MIL??

The kicker was when I was talking to her son last night. I mentioned that I saw that SIL wasn't feeling well. "No, she just didn't want to come."  >:(

My MIL was famous (or infamous) for her "shooting pains" whenever there was a family event and she was not the pre-designated center of attention (such as for her birthday or anniversary).  For a long time, she used these "shooting pains" to then turn every pre-event time into a huge kerfluffle about her illnesses, whether she'd make it or not, whether she needed to go the ER or not, etc. Finally people wised up and started saying, "Well, that's a shame. You're such a saint for living with these pains, but we totally understand that you can't make it. We'll say a prayer for you." And amazingly, her "shooting pains" stopped.

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9376 on: October 08, 2012, 09:33:21 AM »
When someone tells me to calm down. Really annoying. In whatever situation, those two words are enough to make me want to lose all control and reason.  Especially if uttered in a condescending or patronising tone.

For me, it was always "now, don't get angry."  Guess what? Nothing cheesed me off like that sentence.
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Elfmama

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9377 on: October 08, 2012, 09:40:55 AM »
A really little one: when the blinker of the car in front of me is out of sync with MY blinker!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9378 on: October 08, 2012, 10:58:16 AM »
When someone tells me to calm down. Really annoying. In whatever situation, those two words are enough to make me want to lose all control and reason.  Especially if uttered in a condescending or patronising tone.

For me, it was always "now, don't get angry."  Guess what? Nothing cheesed me off like that sentence.

Or "Well don't cry about it!" or "You're not going to cry now are you?" I promise, I'm not a crybaby but I do wear my heart on my sleeve, usually, so when people say something nasty enough to make me cry, I'm going to, dangit.  Even more annoying though is that I cry when I get mad. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

diesel_darlin

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9379 on: October 08, 2012, 11:26:34 AM »
When they take a perfectly good movie and re make it.  >:(

Or on the flip side, when you read the IMDb message board of a masterpiece and see threads saying "It's time they remade this."


Agreed.

diesel_darlin

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9380 on: October 08, 2012, 11:31:31 AM »
When someone tells me to calm down. Really annoying. In whatever situation, those two words are enough to make me want to lose all control and reason.  Especially if uttered in a condescending or patronising tone.

For me, it was always "now, don't get angry."  Guess what? Nothing cheesed me off like that sentence.

Or "Well don't cry about it!" or "You're not going to cry now are you?" I promise, I'm not a crybaby but I do wear my heart on my sleeve, usually, so when people say something nasty enough to make me cry, I'm going to, dangit.  Even more annoying though is that I cry when I get mad.


My sister is the queen of saying something horridly offensive and then saying "YOU NEED TO CHILL" when you get upset. Well gee thanks there, sis! No better way to calm me down than offend me then tell me to calm down.  :-\


You too, huh? That is the one thing that I absolutely LOATHE about myself. Tick me off, and Im going to cry. I dont want to cry, I just do.


edited to fix quote.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2012, 11:44:22 AM by diesel_darlin »

Moray

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9381 on: October 08, 2012, 11:39:05 AM »
Then, on the flip side, for every one of us "legitimate criers", there's some drama queen who gets weepy as a form of manipulation and who abuses people who show any compassion. My cousin is like this and I can't really blame my aunt for not "getting" right away that I wasn't just doing it for attention.
Utah

Hollanda

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9382 on: October 08, 2012, 12:08:44 PM »
I cry through frustration or anger. Very rarely because I'm actually upset these days. I know someone who manipulates through tears. It's annoying and drives me crazy but still I console her. Gah darned maternal streak lol!!
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Elessarion

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9383 on: October 08, 2012, 12:29:40 PM »
At the moment my FB feed is full of my friends and family discussing the X-factor and it's totally driving me up the wall!

I appreciate that people enjoy the singing or other reality shows, but what annoys me is people who take it far too seriously when someone they like gets eliminated. I don't get why people are surprised that sometimes reality shows are fixed or the results are manipulated - they're there to make money and gain ratings, not to be fair. It's like the contestants on Big Brother who complain that sometimes the footage is edited to make them look bad - because that's what drives up the ratings! You'd think after so many years they'd have figured this out lol.

So yes, reality shows drive me up the wall a bit (there are far too many now too) but people enjoy them. People taking them too seriously is what makes me crazy lol!

Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9384 on: October 08, 2012, 02:05:24 PM »
When someone tells me to calm down. Really annoying. In whatever situation, those two words are enough to make me want to lose all control and reason.  Especially if uttered in a condescending or patronising tone.

That's called Gaslighting.





Moray

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9385 on: October 08, 2012, 02:09:06 PM »
When someone tells me to calm down. Really annoying. In whatever situation, those two words are enough to make me want to lose all control and reason.  Especially if uttered in a condescending or patronising tone.

That's called Gaslighting.

Telling someone to CALM DOWN! is counterproductive and can be mean, but Gaslighting it ain't.

Gaslighting is where the abuser presents false information and calls the victim "crazy", or otherwise implies they're losing their mind if they do not adopt the "new reality". It comes from this play.
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Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9386 on: October 08, 2012, 02:40:55 PM »
I know where it comes from and I have experienced the attempt.





Moray

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9387 on: October 08, 2012, 03:11:24 PM »
I know where it comes from and I have experienced the attempt.

That does not make your use of the terminology any less incorrect :)
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blueyzca01

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9388 on: October 08, 2012, 03:44:42 PM »
I knew people who would cry poor when their kid needed formula/diapers/etc. but then they'd go out and buy a carton of cigarettes or a bottle of pricey booze.

Hey, you gotta have priorities!!
No one ever says, "Why me?!?!" when something good happens.

bansidhe

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #9389 on: October 08, 2012, 03:47:42 PM »
I know where it comes from and I have experienced the attempt.

That does not make your use of the terminology any less incorrect :)

I can totally see someone saying "Calm down" fitting into the definition of gaslighting. Depends on the circumstances. I'm visualizing Person A saying something insulting or upsetting to Person B. Person B subsequently gets upset or offended, whereupon Person A tells her to calm down, the implication being that there was nothing offensive about what Person A said even though Person A did intend offense.

Person A is trying to convince Person B that she completely misheard what was said, or miscontrued its intent, or has no right to be upset under the circumstances.

It's more subtle than outright telling someone she's nuts, but it's the same sort of maneuver.
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