DH and his reaction to questions. I know where it comes from, but ... ugh!
This morning, I ask him where he thinks we should hang a Christmas decoration and give him three places I was thinking of. He picks one.
Me: "Hmm, why?" (turning over the pros and cons of the places and honestly wondering why)
Him: (acts annoyed) "I don't have a reason, I just picked one because you wanted me to!"
Me: Huh? "No, I wanted to talk about which spot was the best!"
Him: "OK ... other one!"
Me: "Why?" (thinking, OK, now we can have the conversation!)
Him: "Then pick it yourself!"
Me: "What part of 'talk about it' do you not understand??"
And a similar situation. I asked him to get a certain brand of something at the store. He comes home with something different.
Me: "Why did you get X?" (thinking, "Huh, this is new! Maybe it was a better deal or the other one sold out. Maybe he just liked something about it. I wonder what?")
Him: Throws hands up in the air. "Then get it yourself the next time!"
After 10 years of marriage, I know that the latter (which doesn't happen much anymore) is him hearing my question as "You screwed up!" That's how his mom operates. She wants DH to do all sorts of things for her and then nitpicks them to death.
I tell him he should know me better by now. He admits this.
The first example ... I don't know. Perhaps it stems from the same dynamic. MIL doesn't usually want to have conversations, she wants to tell you how to do things. Because she always knows best, of course.