Author Topic: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?  (Read 1540091 times)

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mmswm

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10620 on: January 28, 2013, 03:09:33 PM »
Background:  My youngest son was born 16 weeks early and has neuro-sensory issues.  He is easily overwhelmed and can shut down quite quickly. He also has a genetic bone disease, and one of the issues he's had is a large tumor in the wrist of his dominant hand that has made it extremely difficult to write.  I have made accommodations for his disabilities, to allow him to do the work required and learn what he needs to do, but he still must do the required assignments.  Most of the time that means he has to work harder, or things will take longer, or that we need to take frequent breaks, but the work must still be done.

So, I've moved back in with my parents.  The schools here are awful.  There was no question that I would be homeschooling my kids.  My parents also homeschool my youngest two siblings.  Both of those two kids also have issues.  Little bro has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and lil sis has issues from physical, sexual and emotional abuse suffered in the first 4.5 years of her life before my parents got custody of her.  Both children were foster children first, then adopted. 

My mother tells me that I have to take over all math and science education for all the kids.  Fair enough.  They're letting me live here rent free and paying some of my expenses.  It's the least I can do.  Now, I've been a teacher and worked in a very, very poor area.  A "normal" student would have been the exception.  I'm quite good at teaching math and getting through to students with issues.  Again, sometimes it takes more work, or a different approach, but the work still has to get done.  End Background.

What's driving me up a wall is every time things get "tough" my siblings revolt and my mother makes excuses for them.  "Oh, he has FAS", or "She has Reactive Attachment Disorder", and "That's just how they are".  Um, no.  They've been taught that they can throw a tantrum and not have to work.  For example: today I just wanted to see what they knew of their multiplication tables.  I printed out a worksheet and asked them to "do whatever problems they could and leave the rest blank."  My 10 year old and my sister do so happily.  Lil bro lays of the floor kicking and flailing that "he can't do this."  Now, since some of the problems were the 1's and 0's, and I know for a fact he knows how to do those, I didn't buy it.  My mother intervened before I had a chance to do so.  In the end, he got out of the assignment. I've dealt with kids like this before and have several tricks up my sleeve that would likely have helped, but I never got the chance.  Ugh.  How does making excuses for him help him?  A similar incident happened with lil sis and a writing assignment yesterday.  *sigh*
I know you're venting and not asking for advice but if I may: I would put on my "teacher's hat" and have a parent-teacher conference (sans kids) with your mom.  I can imagine it's not easy when the parent is also your parent, but I'm sure she wants her kids to do as well as possible with their issues.

You know what?  You're a lifesaver.  I didn't even think about doing something like that.  I think maybe we'll head out for coffee tonight.  Thanks!
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Luci

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10621 on: January 28, 2013, 04:45:02 PM »
Quote
When someone on a forum dedicated to a particle topic (cars, hiking, dogs,etc) tells someone with an honest question to "Google it"
I work in I.T., and every so often I have a work problem that leaves me stumped, so I Google it to see if there are any websites with the answer.  9 times out of 10, I'll find a forum in whcih someone had a similar problem to mine, and the "answer" is "Are you a moron?  Why don't you know how to do that?  That's Programming 101!"  Stop being so rude and just answer the ever-lovin' question!

Many years ago, I got into it with a guy on a forum (Usenet, probably) for giving that kind of response to a newbie. Got blasted for my troubles. I think that's where my utter contempt for anyone who describes themselves as a "guru" in their signature line comes from. Dude -- gurus teach other people.

One of the things I love about e-hell is that we answer these questions, even if it is with a link to a website, and are polite about it.
My thought is that if someone has a question, others do, too. I remember some tittering in a math class when someone asked a basic question and the professor said to please not laugh. If even one person asked, there may be others who don't get it, either, and anyway, the questioner deserved respect. (Long before PCs and the Internet - 1964, actually.) I held that attitude all during my tutoring career, too.

Shalamar

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10622 on: January 28, 2013, 05:11:31 PM »
Luci45, your story reminds me of when I was taking my MBA.  One of my professors was a very nice man, but he was extremely vague.  He'd given us an assignment that was worth a large percentage of our grade, and none of us knew what he wanted.  We kept asking each other if anyone had any idea what to do, and no-one did.  Finally, when the assignment was close to being due, I couldn't stand it any longer and raised my hand.  "Can you please tell me exactly what you want us to do for this assignment?"  He paused, looked at me incredulously, then said "You're a very brave young lady."  (I'm guessing that the word he wanted to use was "stupid", but he was too nice to say it.) 

He actually did give us some specific instructions that he'd somehow omitted before.  After that class, a number of classmates walked up to me and said "You've really got b***s!"   :D


Elfmama

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10623 on: January 28, 2013, 08:06:16 PM »
People who join a forum without understanding its focus and then complain that they are ignored.
Or people who join a forum and whine loudly when the forum community  doesn't always stick to topic.  One I remember was for Polish genealogy. One member, perhaps a bit tongue-in-cheek, asked if pink lawn flamingos had some cultural significance to Poles.  Her in-law's community, largely Polish, seemed to be Flamingo Central, because almost every house sported one or two.

And a brand-new member started screaming "I DIDN'T COME HERE TO TALK ABOUT FLAMINGOS!!!!!"  ::)   Same newbie had also complained when someone mentioned that she had just inherited a Polish cookbook, and someone else asked if it had a recipe for X.

Newbie was told that online community standards were determined by the community, and if they chose to discuss things that were peripheral to the main topic, it wasn't the place of a newcomer to complain.
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afbluebelle

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10624 on: January 28, 2013, 08:26:09 PM »


Last month, a new member joined. Her main interest is sharing string and bead macrame rings she made. They aren't ugly or badly made, but very out of place. I know a lot of craft forums that would love her work and would rave about it. It is almost like someone went to an elegant beach wedding wearing a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops.

To top it off, there is no PM function there, so no one wants to say something publicly.

OT- I've often wanted to start a business where that was my entire job.... Going to a forum and letting people know (nicely) that they would be better suited in another forum. Unfortunately, that would probably end badly.
My inner (r-word) is having a field day with this one.
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BabyMama

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10625 on: January 29, 2013, 09:42:37 AM »
We should start our own businesses, afbluebelle. I've always wanted to go around to area restaurants and correct all the typos in their menus. Can't say we'd be a very popular place to do business with, but at least you and I would feel better!  ;D

Thipu1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10626 on: January 29, 2013, 09:50:06 AM »
We should start our own businesses, afbluebelle. I've always wanted to go around to area restaurants and correct all the typos in their menus. Can't say we'd be a very popular place to do business with, but at least you and I would feel better!  ;D

Would you like another business partner? 

I'm so sick of reading about 'salaudes' and the 'vagetable of the day'.

Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10627 on: January 29, 2013, 09:52:42 AM »
I think you need a fourth one; this problem is too widespread.

mmswm

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10628 on: January 29, 2013, 10:00:40 AM »
I think you need a fourth one; this problem is too widespread.

I can be your South Florida office.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Luci

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10629 on: January 29, 2013, 10:07:54 AM »
We should start our own businesses, afbluebelle. I've always wanted to go around to area restaurants and correct all the typos in their menus. Can't say we'd be a very popular place to do business with, but at least you and I would feel better!  ;D

Would you like another business partner? 

I'm so sick of reading about 'salaudes' and the 'vagetable of the day'.
I think you need a fourth one; this problem is too widespread.

You need me!

ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10630 on: January 29, 2013, 10:11:04 AM »
I will handle all issues in Central Florida and North Georgia!

mmswm

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10631 on: January 29, 2013, 10:12:52 AM »
I will handle all issues in Central Florida and North Georgia!

Where's the border between Central and South Florida?  These are important details we need to work out.  Also, in dealing with our respective regions, do we go coast to coast, or do we have somebody who wants to take care of the Gulf Coast?  I don't mind an few trips to the Gulf Coast as far north as Port Charlotte.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

lady_disdain

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10632 on: January 29, 2013, 10:23:21 AM »
And don't forget all the terrible translations in bi-lingual menus (specially at tourist spots).

ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10633 on: January 29, 2013, 02:41:57 PM »
Over the past week, I was home three days with a sick DS and we visited Disney World over the weekend. That plus lunch with my in-laws left me with a lot of fodder for this thread. All "you"s are general.

  • You are within your rights to take your stroller to the Disney parks, and use it as you see fit. However, your stroller does not count as a wheelchair. On the monorail, there are two disabled access sections, and your stroller does not need to take up room needed by someone in a wheelchair (when there is someone in a wheelchair). When DS was little, we used a stroller, but could fold it up when needed. These gigantic strollers now, we saw some with three seats, are too large to fold and fit anywhere. I also was annoyed by people running over our feet with their giant strollers.  ::)
  • I find it very rude for someone to be in a restaurant with something in their mouth other than food and drink. Gum, cigarette, e-cigarette, toothpick, guitar pick, etc. MIL and DFIL met us for lunch Sunday, and she chewed her gum until her food arrived and then popped in a piece of gum immediately after putting her fork down.
  • I know some people love to have their sound systems in their car super loud and some love to have bass thumping as they go down the road. But at 11pm on a weeknight? In an apartment complex?

/rant

Twik

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10634 on: January 29, 2013, 03:37:26 PM »
Can I be a specialist, correcting all the "Ceasar salads"?

(And, afterwards, eating them?)
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."