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Author Topic: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?  (Read 5484638 times)

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Kimblee

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10935 on: February 24, 2013, 03:40:42 PM »
I have a very slight allergy to salmon.  It's not all that bothersome, but it makes my mouth feel "tickly".  I used to be able to eat it with no problem, but when that began to happen I stopped eating it for the most part, because I'm afraid of having it get worse and ending up with a really bad reaction. 

What sort of bothers me is, occasionally my dad will make some sort of remark about it.  "Salmon was on sale for such-and-such this week.  I got steak instead, because CrochetFanatic can't eat salmon."  I think he thinks he's being considerate, but it annoys me to no end.  Yes, I like salmon, but it won't break my heart if my family eats it and I eat a hamburger instead.  I also happen to like hamburgers.  No big deal.  I've said, "Go ahead and get salmon if you want it.  I'll be fine with something else."  He'll wave a hand, and say, "Nah, that's all right."  Then why mention it at all?  :o  That just makes me feel like a horrible person for depriving my family, or something.  He'll also bring it up at restaurants, ordering a salmon entree and saying, "Mm, boy!  I haven't had salmon in a while.  CrochetFanatic can't eat it."  Well, yes I can, it just makes me feel like I swallowed poison ivy afterwards.  And he isn't being cruel, I'm convinced of that.  He's just clueless.  Just buy the salmon if you want it!  Jeez!

Oddly enough, I can eat salmon if it's smoked and on a bagel, and I have no problems with salmon sushi.  I don't question it, I just enjoy myself!  ;)

Perhaps he's saying it more for your benefit? Like an affirmation that he remembers how much it hurts you to eat, or a reminder that he loves you by not tempting you? My stepmom always mentions when she makes something "And it has no onions, since Kim doesn't like them." But its not being mean or catty, its so I know I don't need the migraine pills, I can just dig in.

CrochetFanatic

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10936 on: February 25, 2013, 11:42:55 AM »
It's possible that he means it that way.  It just sort of makes me feel put on the spot and guilty for some reason.  I like salmon, but really I can take it or leave it. 

So, another annoyance...I have a really sensitive nose, and I can sometimes smell things that other people can't until the smells get stronger.  This can be a good thing if there's chocolate in the vicinity, and a bad thing if someone hasn't had a chance to jump into the shower yet.  Unfortunately, people try (and often succeed, because I'm a doormat) to get me to give their clothes a smell to see if it smells like cat pee or B.O.  I don't want to.  :-X 

This morning, it was my mother.  "Crochetfanatic, can I borrow your sniffer for a minute?"  I opened my bedroom door, and she was standing right there and started coming closer so that I had to back up before I could even decline.  I said something like, "Look, I don't want to smell your clothes every time you think they smell.  If you can't smell it, odds are no one else will either."  She got mad, and said, "You don't have to be so nasty!"

Annoyed and nasty aren't the same thing.  I was not nasty.  I was annoyed.  Refusal, even polite refusal, often gets me snapped at.  Small wonder that I'm a doormat.  ::)
« Last Edit: February 25, 2013, 11:45:16 AM by CrochetFanatic »

alkira6

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10937 on: February 25, 2013, 12:47:09 PM »
It's possible that he means it that way.  It just sort of makes me feel put on the spot and guilty for some reason.  I like salmon, but really I can take it or leave it. 

So, another annoyance...I have a really sensitive nose, and I can sometimes smell things that other people can't until the smells get stronger.  This can be a good thing if there's chocolate in the vicinity, and a bad thing if someone hasn't had a chance to jump into the shower yet.  Unfortunately, people try (and often succeed, because I'm a doormat) to get me to give their clothes a smell to see if it smells like cat pee or B.O.  I don't want to.  :-X 

This morning, it was my mother.  "Crochetfanatic, can I borrow your sniffer for a minute?"  I opened my bedroom door, and she was standing right there and started coming closer so that I had to back up before I could even decline.  I said something like, "Look, I don't want to smell your clothes every time you think they smell.  If you can't smell it, odds are no one else will either."  She got mad, and said, "You don't have to be so nasty!"

Annoyed and nasty aren't the same thing.  I was not nasty.  I was annoyed.  Refusal, even polite refusal, often gets me snapped at.  Small wonder that I'm a doormat.  ::)

Seriously, if you have to ask someone if your clothes are smelly, just wash them and wear something else.

CrochetFanatic

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10938 on: February 25, 2013, 01:21:47 PM »
It's possible that he means it that way.  It just sort of makes me feel put on the spot and guilty for some reason.  I like salmon, but really I can take it or leave it. 

So, another annoyance...I have a really sensitive nose, and I can sometimes smell things that other people can't until the smells get stronger.  This can be a good thing if there's chocolate in the vicinity, and a bad thing if someone hasn't had a chance to jump into the shower yet.  Unfortunately, people try (and often succeed, because I'm a doormat) to get me to give their clothes a smell to see if it smells like cat pee or B.O.  I don't want to.  :-X 

This morning, it was my mother.  "Crochetfanatic, can I borrow your sniffer for a minute?"  I opened my bedroom door, and she was standing right there and started coming closer so that I had to back up before I could even decline.  I said something like, "Look, I don't want to smell your clothes every time you think they smell.  If you can't smell it, odds are no one else will either."  She got mad, and said, "You don't have to be so nasty!"

Annoyed and nasty aren't the same thing.  I was not nasty.  I was annoyed.  Refusal, even polite refusal, often gets me snapped at.  Small wonder that I'm a doormat.  ::)

Seriously, if you have to ask someone if your clothes are smelly, just wash them and wear something else.

Since we got our dog about four years ago, one of our cats has taken to peeing in places she shouldn't out of spite (the vet says she's fine), and the smell in the air sometimes gets into my mom's work clothes.  She hangs it in the closet when it's clean, and she's sort of paranoid about this.  This usually happens when she's about to head out for work.  Washing something and putting on something else that's clean isn't an option here, but she rarely has anything to worry about.  It's just the indignity of the situation that gets under my skin. 

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10939 on: February 25, 2013, 10:14:17 PM »
I love my DH but I swear if I let him, and we had the money, he'd buy a zoo, or a farm.   I like animals too but too many and it gets a bit overwhelming.

At the current time we have three parakeets, two cats, a guinea pig, and a partridge in a pear tree. (joking, not really) The guinea pig belongs to our oldest. Now DH wants a dog.  We agreed a while ago that we'd talk about getting a dog when we lose our two cats who are now both 4...well my cat may almost be 5. 

I said no, and he pouted and said it wasn't fair that I got the final say. Um, honey, it's because in these matters, if I didn't have the final say or put my foot down, I'd be up to my eyeballs in fur and feathers!

He seems to have gotten over it now but oh he was not happy this afternoon.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10940 on: February 26, 2013, 07:34:34 AM »
Can he volunteer at the local animal shelter for a few hours a month? That is what a lot of dog lovers who can't have one do.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10941 on: February 26, 2013, 07:40:58 AM »
That could be dangerous for him. He'd see all these poor dogs and would to bring them all home!  On the other hand it might give him a bit of a clue of how much maintenance it could be. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10942 on: February 26, 2013, 08:14:23 AM »
And I hope you have 20 more years with your cats. 





ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10943 on: February 26, 2013, 08:35:34 AM »
That could be dangerous for him. He'd see all these poor dogs and would to bring them all home!  On the other hand it might give him a bit of a clue of how much maintenance it could be.

If a student lives in university housing, they can't have pets. Many of our students volunteer to play with the dogs on weekends.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

siamesecat2965

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10944 on: February 26, 2013, 08:57:05 AM »
I love my DH but I swear if I let him, and we had the money, he'd buy a zoo, or a farm.   I like animals too but too many and it gets a bit overwhelming.

At the current time we have three parakeets, two cats, a guinea pig, and a partridge in a pear tree. (joking, not really) The guinea pig belongs to our oldest. Now DH wants a dog.  We agreed a while ago that we'd talk about getting a dog when we lose our two cats who are now both 4...well my cat may almost be 5. 

I said no, and he pouted and said it wasn't fair that I got the final say. Um, honey, it's because in these matters, if I didn't have the final say or put my foot down, I'd be up to my eyeballs in fur and feathers!

He seems to have gotten over it now but oh he was not happy this afternoon.

Not to mention, as I think you are a SAHM, you would be doing the bulk of the doggy care, walking, feeding, playing, etc. I love dogs, but even if pets were allowed in my complex, I'd have a cat. I dogsit for several friends and co-workers and while I love to do it, at the end of the day, its a big committment of both time and effort. Even going out for the day you have to think, can they make it or do you need to come home sooner, etc.  Good for you for standing your ground!

bansidhe

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10945 on: February 26, 2013, 02:04:05 PM »
It really irks me when I e-mail a friend and in the course of the message, mention a Fairly Major Life Event and when the friend responds to the e-mail, she does not acknowledge or even mention Fairly Major Life Event at all. She just completely ignores it. I've had this happen on more than one occasion, but one friend in particular is a repeat offender.

It's not like I'm talking about Fairly Major Life Event all the time, nor does it dominate the e-mail. Both of those things might annoy someone and cause to her ignore it, but that's not what is going on. I do not understand it.  :-\
Esan ozenki!

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10946 on: February 26, 2013, 02:18:13 PM »
I love my DH but I swear if I let him, and we had the money, he'd buy a zoo, or a farm.   I like animals too but too many and it gets a bit overwhelming.

At the current time we have three parakeets, two cats, a guinea pig, and a partridge in a pear tree. (joking, not really) The guinea pig belongs to our oldest. Now DH wants a dog.  We agreed a while ago that we'd talk about getting a dog when we lose our two cats who are now both 4...well my cat may almost be 5. 

I said no, and he pouted and said it wasn't fair that I got the final say. Um, honey, it's because in these matters, if I didn't have the final say or put my foot down, I'd be up to my eyeballs in fur and feathers!

He seems to have gotten over it now but oh he was not happy this afternoon.

Not to mention, as I think you are a SAHM, you would be doing the bulk of the doggy care, walking, feeding, playing, etc. I love dogs, but even if pets were allowed in my complex, I'd have a cat. I dogsit for several friends and co-workers and while I love to do it, at the end of the day, its a big committment of both time and effort. Even going out for the day you have to think, can they make it or do you need to come home sooner, etc.  Good for you for standing your ground!

I am a SAHM and DH is often gone from the house for 12 hours a day.  In May the boys and I will be taking 4 days and going to the beach which means if we had the dog, the poor thing would be alone for that amount of time, which wouldn't be fair to the poor thing and I don't know if DH thought of that or considered how he'd handle her being alone for that much of the day when I wasn't around to take her for a walk. 

Thing is I do love dogs and saw a picture of the dog and dang it if she isn't a cute little thing!  She was a sheltie mix, about 20lbs and apparently got along well with the cats the foster family has.  I know if I saw her I'd want her.  Which is why I had to say no because I know it wouldn't be long before I'd find the majority of her care on my shoulders, which would give me even more to do and some days I barely have the energy to deal with what I do have to do. :P

The IL's have dogs and when DH has talked about having dogs around them, MIL says "Ugh, don't do it!" They love their dogs but MIL has said that when those dogs shuffle off their mortal coil, she won't be getting anymore.  She'd like to be able to go out for a day without worrying about getting home in time to let them out, and being able to go on vacation without worrying about where they'd board the dogs. 

Like I said, he's over it now so I think he might have seen where I was coming from.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10947 on: February 26, 2013, 03:42:08 PM »
Helicopter parents are driving me up the wall. When does it end?

I know someone whose son is graduating with his Bachelor's degree in two months, and she feels it is her job to remind him to start a paper, or schedule a meeting with his advisor, or order his cap and gown for commencement. I don't know if her son needs her to keep this kind of management of him and his schooling, but it seems odd to me.

DS is starting his sophomore year in high school in the fall, and other than asking my opinion on a few electives, I have let him handle that on his own. I try to encourage independence on his part, because I won't always be living with him or able to give him advice.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10948 on: February 26, 2013, 03:53:12 PM »
What is it with the helicopter parent movement anyway?  I guess I do know, it's parents who can't stand to see their kids fail because they see their children as an extension of themselves and thus their child's failure is their own failure and they don't want to be judged by their kid's failures. 

I don't know if it's even all that new. I remember in 2nd grade we had to make one of those peephole boxes as a book report. I read Linnea in Monet's Garden (still one of my favorite books) and tried to make a keyhole box that depicted the scene that's on the front cover.

http://365daysuntil30.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/linnea-in-monets-garden.jpg

I don't remember how it looked but heck, I drew it as any 8 year old would, I guess.  Drew Linnea as best as I could, drew a bridge on paper that I cut and pasted on the bottom of the box, on which I had painted Monet's garden and the water lilies.   My dad decided that wasn't good enough so he drew Linnea himself (and he was a good artist) made a little bridge and got colored cellophane to make the water.   It was VERY clear that I did not do it myself and the project got an "A" but my classmates accused me of cheating and told me I didn't deserve the "A" because my dad did it for me.   

And that was in the mid 80's. 

When my oldest's second grade teacher told me that I could have done an assignment for him because "all the other kids had their parents do it for them" I didn't really say much but when I told dh about it later I rolled my eyes, shook my head and said "Um no, I already went through 2nd grade." I had helped my son with his book report but I wasn't going to do it for him. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #10949 on: February 26, 2013, 05:41:22 PM »
At the risk of sounding like an armchair shrink I am going to guess that some helicopter parents are afraid of not being needed anymore.   They are either afraid that the growing child will go away from them (which eventually they should) or they fear that their children will become more competent than they are.  For others it could be about control as well.