Author Topic: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?  (Read 1854785 times)

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siamesecat2965

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11010 on: February 26, 2013, 09:57:05 AM »
I love my DH but I swear if I let him, and we had the money, he'd buy a zoo, or a farm.   I like animals too but too many and it gets a bit overwhelming.

At the current time we have three parakeets, two cats, a guinea pig, and a partridge in a pear tree. (joking, not really) The guinea pig belongs to our oldest. Now DH wants a dog.  We agreed a while ago that we'd talk about getting a dog when we lose our two cats who are now both 4...well my cat may almost be 5. 

I said no, and he pouted and said it wasn't fair that I got the final say. Um, honey, it's because in these matters, if I didn't have the final say or put my foot down, I'd be up to my eyeballs in fur and feathers!

He seems to have gotten over it now but oh he was not happy this afternoon.

Not to mention, as I think you are a SAHM, you would be doing the bulk of the doggy care, walking, feeding, playing, etc. I love dogs, but even if pets were allowed in my complex, I'd have a cat. I dogsit for several friends and co-workers and while I love to do it, at the end of the day, its a big committment of both time and effort. Even going out for the day you have to think, can they make it or do you need to come home sooner, etc.  Good for you for standing your ground!

bansidhe

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11011 on: February 26, 2013, 03:04:05 PM »
It really irks me when I e-mail a friend and in the course of the message, mention a Fairly Major Life Event and when the friend responds to the e-mail, she does not acknowledge or even mention Fairly Major Life Event at all. She just completely ignores it. I've had this happen on more than one occasion, but one friend in particular is a repeat offender.

It's not like I'm talking about Fairly Major Life Event all the time, nor does it dominate the e-mail. Both of those things might annoy someone and cause to her ignore it, but that's not what is going on. I do not understand it.  :-\
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11012 on: February 26, 2013, 03:18:13 PM »
I love my DH but I swear if I let him, and we had the money, he'd buy a zoo, or a farm.   I like animals too but too many and it gets a bit overwhelming.

At the current time we have three parakeets, two cats, a guinea pig, and a partridge in a pear tree. (joking, not really) The guinea pig belongs to our oldest. Now DH wants a dog.  We agreed a while ago that we'd talk about getting a dog when we lose our two cats who are now both 4...well my cat may almost be 5. 

I said no, and he pouted and said it wasn't fair that I got the final say. Um, honey, it's because in these matters, if I didn't have the final say or put my foot down, I'd be up to my eyeballs in fur and feathers!

He seems to have gotten over it now but oh he was not happy this afternoon.

Not to mention, as I think you are a SAHM, you would be doing the bulk of the doggy care, walking, feeding, playing, etc. I love dogs, but even if pets were allowed in my complex, I'd have a cat. I dogsit for several friends and co-workers and while I love to do it, at the end of the day, its a big committment of both time and effort. Even going out for the day you have to think, can they make it or do you need to come home sooner, etc.  Good for you for standing your ground!

I am a SAHM and DH is often gone from the house for 12 hours a day.  In May the boys and I will be taking 4 days and going to the beach which means if we had the dog, the poor thing would be alone for that amount of time, which wouldn't be fair to the poor thing and I don't know if DH thought of that or considered how he'd handle her being alone for that much of the day when I wasn't around to take her for a walk. 

Thing is I do love dogs and saw a picture of the dog and dang it if she isn't a cute little thing!  She was a sheltie mix, about 20lbs and apparently got along well with the cats the foster family has.  I know if I saw her I'd want her.  Which is why I had to say no because I know it wouldn't be long before I'd find the majority of her care on my shoulders, which would give me even more to do and some days I barely have the energy to deal with what I do have to do. :P

The IL's have dogs and when DH has talked about having dogs around them, MIL says "Ugh, don't do it!" They love their dogs but MIL has said that when those dogs shuffle off their mortal coil, she won't be getting anymore.  She'd like to be able to go out for a day without worrying about getting home in time to let them out, and being able to go on vacation without worrying about where they'd board the dogs. 

Like I said, he's over it now so I think he might have seen where I was coming from.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11013 on: February 26, 2013, 04:42:08 PM »
Helicopter parents are driving me up the wall. When does it end?

I know someone whose son is graduating with his Bachelor's degree in two months, and she feels it is her job to remind him to start a paper, or schedule a meeting with his advisor, or order his cap and gown for commencement. I don't know if her son needs her to keep this kind of management of him and his schooling, but it seems odd to me.

DS is starting his sophomore year in high school in the fall, and other than asking my opinion on a few electives, I have let him handle that on his own. I try to encourage independence on his part, because I won't always be living with him or able to give him advice.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11014 on: February 26, 2013, 04:53:12 PM »
What is it with the helicopter parent movement anyway?  I guess I do know, it's parents who can't stand to see their kids fail because they see their children as an extension of themselves and thus their child's failure is their own failure and they don't want to be judged by their kid's failures. 

I don't know if it's even all that new. I remember in 2nd grade we had to make one of those peephole boxes as a book report. I read Linnea in Monet's Garden (still one of my favorite books) and tried to make a keyhole box that depicted the scene that's on the front cover.

http://365daysuntil30.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/linnea-in-monets-garden.jpg

I don't remember how it looked but heck, I drew it as any 8 year old would, I guess.  Drew Linnea as best as I could, drew a bridge on paper that I cut and pasted on the bottom of the box, on which I had painted Monet's garden and the water lilies.   My dad decided that wasn't good enough so he drew Linnea himself (and he was a good artist) made a little bridge and got colored cellophane to make the water.   It was VERY clear that I did not do it myself and the project got an "A" but my classmates accused me of cheating and told me I didn't deserve the "A" because my dad did it for me.   

And that was in the mid 80's. 

When my oldest's second grade teacher told me that I could have done an assignment for him because "all the other kids had their parents do it for them" I didn't really say much but when I told dh about it later I rolled my eyes, shook my head and said "Um no, I already went through 2nd grade." I had helped my son with his book report but I wasn't going to do it for him. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11015 on: February 26, 2013, 06:41:22 PM »
At the risk of sounding like an armchair shrink I am going to guess that some helicopter parents are afraid of not being needed anymore.   They are either afraid that the growing child will go away from them (which eventually they should) or they fear that their children will become more competent than they are.  For others it could be about control as well.

kherbert05

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11016 on: February 26, 2013, 06:44:16 PM »
Helicopter parents are driving me up the wall. When does it end?

I know someone whose son is graduating with his Bachelor's degree in two months, and she feels it is her job to remind him to start a paper, or schedule a meeting with his advisor, or order his cap and gown for commencement. I don't know if her son needs her to keep this kind of management of him and his schooling, but it seems odd to me.

DS is starting his sophomore year in high school in the fall, and other than asking my opinion on a few electives, I have let him handle that on his own. I try to encourage independence on his part, because I won't always be living with him or able to give him advice.
Sis is having a similar problem with copter parents. Brett wants to have and go to sleep overs. Loren was going when she was about his age now - to with friends' kids. But those friends don't have boys Brett's age. Last weekend a friend came over to play - it was the 1st time the boy had been on a playdate where mom didn't stay the whole time. A sleep over was not even in the ballpark. The fact they "have" to organize play dates is also frustrating. There is only one other family in the neighborhood that lets their kids go back and forth on their own - but there is a MAJOR road between them with major speeders that don't recongize the crosswalk. So someone has to take them across that road - then they go the rest of the way themselves.

Loren had a slumber party last year. One group of parents blocked Sis and BIL's cars in the drive and went out to eat with a couple other parents. Sis was spitting nails
1. BIL needed to take Brett to his cousins' for his sleep over
2. When he got back Sis was going to go pick up the movie the girls ordered from Red Box.
3. There was a child (not part of that group of parents) who has peanut allergy. One of the rules we were raised with is you NEVER leave people blocked in because what if they had to rush Kimberly to the ER. Knowing that she couldn't get out made sis nearly have a panic attack. Older niece took Brett to his sleep over - I stayed until the parents came back from eating out.

They were well ticked off. They expected their girls to be ready to pack it in and go home because sleeping over was so scary. The girls were fine - happy as Larks. These girls were from Loren's new school. Her friends where the Moms and Dads went to HS with Sis and BIL - had made it clear that they were perfectly fine sleeping over and did it regularly. I think they without meaning to shamed the other girls or maybe gave them the courage to see it wasn't a big deal. I left after the parents left leaving the girls. Sis said they called every hour on the hour till about 1 am when she told them to knock it off the girls were asleep and she and BIL were trying to sleep.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11017 on: February 26, 2013, 07:52:52 PM »
Not so much annoyed, but I can't help but snort when I see people on fbook post ecards or other memes making fun of a certain type of poster when they do that very thing themselves. 

Sometimes I think maybe they're making fun of themselves, like one friend who will share several pictures of her toddler and then the next day share something about people who share way too many pictures of their kids.   I know in her case it's purely tongue in cheek cause she's said "Yeah, I'm going to be one of those moms right now..."

Others will vaguebook or overshare about their relationships, then they'll share things that make fun of vaguebookers.  With friends who have a self-depricating sense of humor I'm sure they're poking fun at themselves but others who I know to not be terribly self-aware it's just kind of funny. 

Ie Monday:  "Ugh"
Tuesday: FML
Wednesday: Why me?
Thursday: Why are the fates aligning against me?
Friday: Hey look at this meme poking fun at pouty vaguebookers! Aren't they annoying?

Me:  ??? ???
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

ladyknight1

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11018 on: February 26, 2013, 07:54:17 PM »
Being involved in Scouting, there is always at least one boy whose mother won't let them go camp with the group without the mother being there. We actually have two, both 12 nearly 13, boys who have never spent a night away from their mothers.

Having grown up as the oldest of three girls, DH has a lot more input for boundaries for DS, since he was once a teenage boy.  ;) I have always been of the mindset that it is the parent's job to prepare their children to be capable adults.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11019 on: February 26, 2013, 08:08:57 PM »
At the risk of sounding like an armchair shrink I am going to guess that some helicopter parents are afraid of not being needed anymore.   They are either afraid that the growing child will go away from them (which eventually they should) or they fear that their children will become more competent than they are.  For others it could be about control as well.

I suspect you're right about that, as many of the helicopter parents I've known do seem to be quite codependent, or needy at least.  One woman I knew wasn't so much a helicopter parent in that she wasn't always hovering over her kid but she didn't want to teach him to do anything that would mean independence for him as an adult like doing laundry, cooking or cleaning up after himself because "He can always live with me!"

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11020 on: February 26, 2013, 08:39:25 PM »
At the risk of sounding like an armchair shrink I am going to guess that some helicopter parents are afraid of not being needed anymore.   They are either afraid that the growing child will go away from them (which eventually they should) or they fear that their children will become more competent than they are.  For others it could be about control as well.

I suspect you're right about that, as many of the helicopter parents I've known do seem to be quite codependent, or needy at least.  One woman I knew wasn't so much a helicopter parent in that she wasn't always hovering over her kid but she didn't want to teach him to do anything that would mean independence for him as an adult like doing laundry, cooking or cleaning up after himself because "He can always live with me!"

My response to that would be "Be careful what you wish for."

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11021 on: February 26, 2013, 08:54:47 PM »
I thought that, when she told me but I wasn't going to say it. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Venus193

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11022 on: February 26, 2013, 09:22:57 PM »
 ::)  Do these people have any idea how they are crippling their children later in life?  How do they think their children will get on after they're too old to do everything or gone altogether?  Or are they narcissists who think the world will end when they die?

diesel_darlin

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11023 on: February 26, 2013, 10:22:43 PM »
Not so much annoyed, but I can't help but snort when I see people on fbook post ecards or other memes making fun of a certain type of poster when they do that very thing themselves. 

Sometimes I think maybe they're making fun of themselves, like one friend who will share several pictures of her toddler and then the next day share something about people who share way too many pictures of their kids.   I know in her case it's purely tongue in cheek cause she's said "Yeah, I'm going to be one of those moms right now..."

Others will vaguebook or overshare about their relationships, then they'll share things that make fun of vaguebookers.  With friends who have a self-depricating sense of humor I'm sure they're poking fun at themselves but others who I know to not be terribly self-aware it's just kind of funny. 

Ie Monday:  "Ugh"
Tuesday: FML
Wednesday: Why me?
Thursday: Why are the fates aligning against me?
Friday: Hey look at this meme poking fun at pouty vaguebookers! Aren't they annoying?

Me:  ??? ???


So, you have my sister as a Facebook friend, then?  ;D ;D ;D

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #11024 on: February 27, 2013, 08:33:05 AM »
LOL! Possibly! :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata