Do these people have any idea how they are crippling their children later in life? How do they think their children will get on after they're too old to do everything or gone altogether? Or are they narcissists who think the world will end when they die?
No. I have two here at work. Both have daughers who are freshman in college. One, away at school, about an hour and a half from here, the other was away, but locally, maybe 40 minutes away.
HP #1 is a control freak. Plain and simple, When said child was still in HS, and I'm talking jr. and sr. years, she still had to call when she was leaving schoool, call when she got home or whatever destination seh was going to, call when she was leaving for the next one, and when she arrived back home. She would also call said child during days off from school, and berate her for sleeping in, watching tv, and so on. Child is flaky and scatterbrained, so there have been many long, drawn out, phone calls about losing and forgetting things, and so on.
The lastest issue was child has money she's earned in the summers etc. But since she has no clue how to budget or anthing like that, mom puts money in her account on a regular basis. but she will spend money earmarked for books on b-day presents for friends, eating out, etc. I said why not just give it all to her, if she spends it all, let HER figure it out. But she can't give up that control.
Second HP is a doormat. child walks all over her and is quite maniupalive. Mom will not stand up to her. Child was sick, and in the hospital, missing first three weeks of the semester. Due to poor grades 1st semester, she is on academic probation, so can't do a medical leave. So she simply withdrew. She made no effort whatsoever to attempt to catch up. I get she was sick, and missed a lot, but its the beginning of the semester, so it would seem to me putting in a little effort, and at least finding out waht you missed would have been a good start.
Its really a good thing I don't have kids. I'd be the mean mom my kids hated. My parents, while there for advice, etc. were of the philosopy "suck it up and figure it out" so when I spent almost all my money first sememster freshman year on LD charges calling my then BF, I figured it out. And got a PT job with the school food service catering.
And finally, and I almost forgot about him, Useless, my former CW. Who spent hours a day on the phone, doing this and that for his kid,s and then CALLINg them to tell them, in minute detail, who to call, what to say, etc etc etc.
But I agree. Parents like this are not doing their kids any favors. Sure, I made mistakes, but I'm a firm believer in you LEARN from your mistakes.
