What little things drive you completely up the wall....?

[Snooks]

HP #1 is a control freak. Plain and simple, When said child was still in HS, and I'm talking jr. and sr. years, she still had to call when she was leaving schoool, call when she got home or whatever destination seh was going to, call when she was leaving for the next one, and when she arrived back home. She would also call said child during days off from school, and berate her for sleeping in, watching tv, and so on. Child is flaky and scatterbrained, so there have been many long, drawn out, phone calls about losing and forgetting things, and so on.

The lastest issue was child has money she's earned in the summers etc. But since she has no clue how to budget or anthing like that, mom puts money in her account on a regular basis. but she will spend money earmarked for books on b-day presents for friends, eating out, etc. I said why not just give it all to her, if she spends it all, let HER figure it out. But she can't give up that control.

<snip>

But I agree. Parents like this are not doing their kids any favors. Sure, I made mistakes, but I'm a firm believer in you LEARN from your mistakes.

This is a huge pet peeve of mine, people need to learn that money is not infinite.  The best quote I heard was from someone who constantly subsidised her 30 year old son "He's just had a huge payrise, he's earning more than me now", yet she was still sending him money!

[siamesecat2965]

HP #1 is a control freak. Plain and simple, When said child was still in HS, and I'm talking jr. and sr. years, she still had to call when she was leaving schoool, call when she got home or whatever destination seh was going to, call when she was leaving for the next one, and when she arrived back home. She would also call said child during days off from school, and berate her for sleeping in, watching tv, and so on. Child is flaky and scatterbrained, so there have been many long, drawn out, phone calls about losing and forgetting things, and so on.

The lastest issue was child has money she's earned in the summers etc. But since she has no clue how to budget or anthing like that, mom puts money in her account on a regular basis. but she will spend money earmarked for books on b-day presents for friends, eating out, etc. I said why not just give it all to her, if she spends it all, let HER figure it out. But she can't give up that control.

<snip>

But I agree. Parents like this are not doing their kids any favors. Sure, I made mistakes, but I'm a firm believer in you LEARN from your mistakes.

This is a huge pet peeve of mine, people need to learn that money is not infinite.  The best quote I heard was from someone who constantly subsidised her 30 year old son "He's just had a huge payrise, he's earning more than me now", yet she was still sending him money!

I wish mine had taught me better about money. i participated in a competitive sport, which took up a lot of my time. so i was never able to have a steady job in HS. but i babysat, house and pet sat, but also gave my mom all my money tgo pay my part of a camp for my sport, that i attended every summer. if i went out, which wasn't often, with friends, my mom gave me money. I wish they had given me a set amount, adn when it was gone, that was it. Today, at age 47, I have huge cc debts, but i'm slowly getting them paid down.  Not saying that's all my parent's fault, but i wish maybe they had given me a bit more guidance in that area

[CrochetFanatic]

My own forgetfulness.  I went to use the Keurig, and forgot to put a coffee cup underneath.  I was staring at it for a full three seconds before I realized exactly what was wrong.  In my defense, I had just gotten up, and I think I really needed that coffee.  I only wasted about 1/4 of it, so no big deal.  Oopsie!

[ladyknight1]

Siamesecat, I had the same problem. My parents dropped me off at college at age 18, with enough money to last a month, set me up a checking account and I was on my own, in another state. I had never held a "real" job before (wasn't allowed). I had only babysat.

It took me a decade to figure it out. DH and I are debt free and don't use credit. I am teaching DS how to manage money already.

[mmswm]

This is probably a thread of its own, but people taking potshots at my parenting choices.  My mother just got all PA on me because I told youngest DS that he could go to the kitchen and get himself a brownie.  Now, I also told him that if he had any trouble, let me know and I'd help him.  He's confined to a wheelchair right now and the entryway to the kitchen is on the narrow side. Anyway, she's commenting on the fact that "he's hurt" and that I should be "waiting on him."  Um, yes, he's hurt, but this is something that's part of his life with his bone disease.  He will be in and out of a wheelchair his entire life, and it isn't outside of the realm of possibility that it could become permanent.  I believe my job as a mother is to equip my children with the skills they need to be successful and independent when they grow up. For the two kids that have the bone disease, one of those skills is managing wheelchairs and other mobility aids.  As such, yes, I will most definitely allow him to go get his own dang brownie!

Discussions like these have been driving me crazy all day.

[Piratelvr1121]

That would make me crazy too.  My kids don't even have any issues affecting mobility and my parents used to accuse me of being "lazy" because I'd let them get certain snacks out of the fridge for themselves, like pieces of fruit, fruit cups or string cheese.  It wasn't like I'd let them help themselves and it was only certain items.  But I never saw anything wrong with them snacking on healthy things between meals, or getting it for themselves, as long as they asked first.

[siamesecat2965]

This is probably a thread of its own, but people taking potshots at my parenting choices.  My mother just got all PA on me because I told youngest DS that he could go to the kitchen and get himself a brownie.  Now, I also told him that if he had any trouble, let me know and I'd help him.  He's confined to a wheelchair right now and the entryway to the kitchen is on the narrow side. Anyway, she's commenting on the fact that "he's hurt" and that I should be "waiting on him."  Um, yes, he's hurt, but this is something that's part of his life with his bone disease.  He will be in and out of a wheelchair his entire life, and it isn't outside of the realm of possibility that it could become permanent.  I believe my job as a mother is to equip my children with the skills they need to be successful and independent when they grow up. For the two kids that have the bone disease, one of those skills is managing wheelchairs and other mobility aids.  As such, yes, I will most definitely allow him to go get his own dang brownie!

Discussions like these have been driving me crazy all day.

I like your approach to parenting. I had a younger brother who had muscular dystrophy, and for the last couple years of his life, was in a wheelchair. My parents pretty much had him do what he could himself, and helped with the rest. And now my mom, who is almost 80, and has been in a wheelchair for almost 20 years, is the same way. she is very independent, and won't let anyone help her with things she can do herself. Of course that doesn't apply to me - but I don't mind 'waiting on her hand and foot' when I visit since she's my mom.

[Kendo_Bunny]

Anyway, she's commenting on the fact that "he's hurt" and that I should be "waiting on him."  Um, yes, he's hurt, but this is something that's part of his life with his bone disease. 

Eurgh. I have atypical migraines that cause temporary mobility problems (my motion and speech go haywire, and I am physically unable to move during and after a migraine. Before starting migraine medication, the inability to move could last hours). I hate people waiting on me when I'm unable to move and acting like I'm a fragile little flower that needs extra special treatment. I may ask for some water or my migraine medication, or sometimes after a really bad one (where my muscle spasms were bad enough to affect my throat), my inhaler. But just because I have a disability doesn't mean I'm incapable of doing of anything for myself! It's insulting, and it makes the entire thing about 100 times worse to feel helpless.

From the perspective of someone with mobility problems, you're doing it right. Being catered to when it's not needed is not comforting, it's a glaring reminder of what you can't do, and it makes you feel awful.

[siamesecat2965]

My director's "need" for us to be first. BG: I work in an industry, for a member service organization, where we look for, use, analyze, etc. documents from a federal government agency relating to our industry.

Sometimes we will get a heads up from their staff that a particular order is being released. Which we then find, do a quick summary highlighting the main points, and disseminate. We also collaborate with other like associations, so if we find something, after its sent internally, it will be sent to them as well. end BG

well, one of the higher ups at another org. is a type A personality, very hyper, and driven. And sometimes he will send my director items he's found, before we do. That irks my director to no end, and he will make snarky comments about how we were "scooped" When in fac,t it really doens't matter who finds it first, since we all share, and the info is public knowledge.  But in his mind, we must find it before anyone else, or we are not doing our jobs.

So yesterday I found one, sent it around, and director said please send out, etc.  which my boss did. Great, right? Boss tells me today director commented we "beat" Mr. Type A by 2 minutes!!!!!!  really? Its a p*ssing contest, plain and simple, and no matter how many times we explain to director we cannot be checking every 5 minutes, as we, you know, have other work to do, he still whines about it.

[mmswm]

Thanks Pirate, Siamesecat and Kendo.  I hate feeling like I have to defend my parenting choices when I know I'm doing what's best for my kids. It helps to know I'm not nuts.

I may have been a little PA tonight though. I would have done it anyway, but it seemed appropriate for youngest DS to do what he could to help make dinner tonight.  I pulled out a bag of frozen stuffed shells, a couple jars of alfredo sauce and a bag of baby spinach.  I put it all out on the table and DS put dinner together.  He needed very little help.   The whole time I felt like going "neenerneener", look what he can do *all by himself*.

[artk2002]

New FB meme: "Can you name a <thing> that doesn't have a <letter> in it? I'll be you can't!" One recent one was "Can you name a city in California that doesn't have an 'E' in it?" Well, yes, I can. Dozens. It's not very hard unless you know absolutely nothing of California geography. The others are similar -- if you have a vocabulary of more than 10 words, these aren't hard.

So, what's the point of this? To annoy people? If that's true, then they're succeeding. I don't like this junk crowding out my political rants and pictures of otters/owls/puppies/kittens. Leave room for the important stuff on FB! 

[mmswm]

New FB meme: "Can you name a <thing> that doesn't have a <letter> in it? I'll be you can't!" One recent one was "Can you name a city in California that doesn't have an 'E' in it?" Well, yes, I can. Dozens. It's not very hard unless you know absolutely nothing of California geography. The others are similar -- if you have a vocabulary of more than 10 words, these aren't hard.

So, what's the point of this? To annoy people? If that's true, then they're succeeding. I don't like this junk crowding out my political rants and pictures of otters/owls/puppies/kittens. Leave room for the important stuff on FB! 

I guess they're counting on people not thinking of San Francisco? That's not a major CA city at all.   

[stitchygreyanonymouse]

I was curious about the same thing… they are all super easy.

My Internet Marketer SO explained that the way it is worded means when you come up with an answer, you think you are super clever, so you are more likely to comment on the post.

That means your friends will see that you commented, and the originating page will look popular (and maybe get more fans if your friends follow suit).

It’s all about marketing and exposure.

And annoyance, to you and me.

[CuriousParty]

New FB meme: "Can you name a <thing> that doesn't have a <letter> in it? I'll be you can't!" One recent one was "Can you name a city in California that doesn't have an 'E' in it?" Well, yes, I can. Dozens. It's not very hard unless you know absolutely nothing of California geography. The others are similar -- if you have a vocabulary of more than 10 words, these aren't hard.

So, what's the point of this? To annoy people? If that's true, then they're succeeding. I don't like this junk crowding out my political rants and pictures of otters/owls/puppies/kittens. Leave room for the important stuff on FB! 

I guess they're counting on people not thinking of San Francisco? That's not a major CA city at all.   

Or, you know, Hollywood.

[mmswm]

New FB meme: "Can you name a <thing> that doesn't have a <letter> in it? I'll be you can't!" One recent one was "Can you name a city in California that doesn't have an 'E' in it?" Well, yes, I can. Dozens. It's not very hard unless you know absolutely nothing of California geography. The others are similar -- if you have a vocabulary of more than 10 words, these aren't hard.

So, what's the point of this? To annoy people? If that's true, then they're succeeding. I don't like this junk crowding out my political rants and pictures of otters/owls/puppies/kittens. Leave room for the important stuff on FB! 

I guess they're counting on people not thinking of San Francisco? That's not a major CA city at all.   

Or, you know, Hollywood.

lol.  That too.  San Francisco was the first city that popped into my head, and I didn't think beyond that.  Far too much effort before my first pot of coffee.