Author Topic: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?  (Read 1742602 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12735 on: July 29, 2013, 06:50:25 PM »
This irritant has been bugging me since Saturday. On and off, but it's like that toothache that won't go away.

When I got married, I kept my own name. I got married 30+ years ago. I am 50+ years old. Therefore I have had my birth name for 50+ years. NO ONE has ever known me by any other name. I have NEVER EVER NEVER used my dh's name in any way. NEVER EVER NEVER. 

We got an invitation to my husband's niece's wedding on Saturday. Addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."

My dh called his sister and said, jokingly, "Who is this Mrs. John Smith? I don't have a wife named Smith."
SIL giggles and says, "Well, a wedding is a formal occasion."
DH glowers and says, "Yes, it is. What does that have to do with Cami's name NOT being Smith?"
SIL: "But it's a formal occasion. Therefore she HAS to use your name."
DH: "Whaaat? It's not her name. Never has been. She's never used it. And if you'll notice, every check sent to your kids -- including the one getting married? Yeah, that one too, has been signed by Cami with HER last name."
SIL: "BUT a wedding is a formal occasion. She has to use your name or it's not proper!"
DH: "What's improper is calling someone by a name that is not theirs. Her name is not Smith."
SIL: "But it's a formal occasion! She can't possibly use her own name because that's not proper."

So now my own name is not PROPER.  ARgggggghhhh!

I wouldn't go as I hadn't been invited.  Petty?  Sure, but it would go to show a point was being proven even if it wasn't accepted.
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Shalamar

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12736 on: July 29, 2013, 07:50:29 PM »
Same here!   When I married my husband, I became Shalamar Mylastname-Hislastname.  It's a long and cumbersome name, but it's mine, and I expect people to,respect it.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12737 on: July 29, 2013, 08:43:18 PM »
The fact that the males in my family seem bound and determined to turn our household into Noah's Ark.  At the current moment we have 3 cats, 3 parakeets (okay so the 2 by two rule doesn't apply), a guinea pig, and several kinds of fish both inside and outside the house and DH still would like to have a dog and ponies but for me putting my foot down and saying NO MORE PETS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sympathize with Mrs. Noah.
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PeterM

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12738 on: July 29, 2013, 10:07:53 PM »
So now my own name is not PROPER.  ARgggggghhhh!

Good grief. I think that even when a woman takes her husband's last name the tradition of Mrs. Husband's-Firstname Lastname needs to die an immediate but extremely painful death. Insisting on using it on someone who kept their own name should be grounds for a duel.

Mel the Redcap

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12739 on: July 30, 2013, 05:36:03 AM »
People who don't do their job and you pay the consequences.

I'm supposed to be taking a big exam next week. When it was scheduled back in April, my academic adviser was supposed to file paperwork with the university and she's usually very on top of things.

This weekend I got an irritated email from the exam chair that she never received my paperwork. Of course my academic adviser left the country last week and has no email access until next month. I contacted another academic adviser who in one hour has accomplished several weeks of work and pulled strings to get my paperwork processed in 2 days, not the standard 2 months. I emailed the exam chair with the updates and I got scolded for not having done this earlier!

...Ouch! That's not a little thing, that's a pretty darn serious thing that could have major consequences for your academic career!  :o

Hooray for the academic adviser who got your paperwork sorted out in record time (I'd buy him/her flowers if I were you!), boo for the exam chair who didn't let you know there was a problem earlier and told you off for something that was NOT your fault, and bad adviser! no biscuit! for the person who stuffed it up for you! (She'd better be reeeeally apologetic when she gets back...)

And (((hugs))) for you, because man, that has to have been a stressful couple of days!
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Cami

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12740 on: July 30, 2013, 08:32:08 AM »
Same here!   When I married my husband, I became Shalamar Mylastname-Hislastname.  It's a long and cumbersome name, but it's mine, and I expect people to,respect it.
That's the point -- respect. And really, how hard is to just give people reallllllly basic respect in the form of using their actual name? For cripes sakes, if she changed her name to Princess Consuelo Bananahammock, that's how I'd address a wedding invitation to her. 

Twik

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12741 on: July 30, 2013, 09:19:14 AM »
Same here!   When I married my husband, I became Shalamar Mylastname-Hislastname.  It's a long and cumbersome name, but it's mine, and I expect people to,respect it.
That's the point -- respect. And really, how hard is to just give people reallllllly basic respect in the form of using their actual name? For cripes sakes, if she changed her name to Princess Consuelo Bananahammock, that's how I'd address a wedding invitation to her.

I'd try to be understanding, if the relative had shown no sign of this before. Judith Martin mentions how some people become obsessed during the wedding process with form over function. She may be reading an older manual of how to address invitations, and is afraid that the Etiquette Police (circa 1950) will descend on her if she doesn't follow the format they demand.
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Carotte

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12742 on: July 30, 2013, 09:58:09 AM »
Same here!   When I married my husband, I became Shalamar Mylastname-Hislastname.  It's a long and cumbersome name, but it's mine, and I expect people to,respect it.
That's the point -- respect. And really, how hard is to just give people reallllllly basic respect in the form of using their actual name? For cripes sakes, if she changed her name to Princess Consuelo Bananahammock, that's how I'd address a wedding invitation to her.

I'd try to be understanding, if the relative had shown no sign of this before. Judith Martin mentions how some people become obsessed during the wedding process with form over function. She may be reading an older manual of how to address invitations, and is afraid that the Etiquette Police (circa 1950) will descend on her if she doesn't follow the format they demand.

In that case you accept being wrong and don't say to someone that their name is not proper.
There's plenty of plausible excuses, "oh I'm sorry, we didn't notice" "the software must have formated it", "we asked a friend to help us and he didn't know, guessed it and put that instead of her lastname", "the cat did it".

In this case etiquette is here to be sure you address your guest in the proper way, insulting them repeatedly is not the way to go.
Forgeting about a particular guest name is understandable in the mist of every thing, but the right thing to do is apologize and try not to do that again (even if for some reason you think they are overeacting to the error).

Cami

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12743 on: July 30, 2013, 10:36:28 AM »
Same here!   When I married my husband, I became Shalamar Mylastname-Hislastname.  It's a long and cumbersome name, but it's mine, and I expect people to,respect it.
That's the point -- respect. And really, how hard is to just give people reallllllly basic respect in the form of using their actual name? For cripes sakes, if she changed her name to Princess Consuelo Bananahammock, that's how I'd address a wedding invitation to her.

I'd try to be understanding, if the relative had shown no sign of this before. Judith Martin mentions how some people become obsessed during the wedding process with form over function. She may be reading an older manual of how to address invitations, and is afraid that the Etiquette Police (circa 1950) will descend on her if she doesn't follow the format they demand.
I can assure you that the idea that she is TRULY concerned about what is "proper" is a joke. I don't want to give the details of the wedding events heretofore because they are very "unique" and therefore identifiable, but take my word for it, evidence shows that this woman does not give a rat's patootie about good form or have any familiarity with an etiquette manual written at any time in human history.

Layla Miller

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12744 on: July 30, 2013, 12:28:15 PM »
Myself.  Or rather, my apparent inability to pay attention to obvious details when shopping online.

DD is learning how to drink from a cup on her own, and last week DH and I decided to look for some plastic cups with handles in case that would be easier for her to hold on to.  I poked around online, and was at first disappointed to find that pretty much all the handled cups on the website were sippy cups.  DH pointed out that we could just take off the cover and she could use it like a regular cup.  "Duh" moment number one; I should have realized that--it was obvious.    Anyway, I picked out a set based on price and number of good reviews and ordered them.

They arrived in the mail the other day, and DH pulled the package out of the box.  Shaking his head, he showed them to me.  The handles are on the sippy part of the cup!  Which was most likely plainly visible in the photo when I ordered them.  "Duh" moment number two.  So they're essentially useless to us, and I have to figure out how to exchange them.

That's twice in a single online order that I missed some obvious detail!  Argle bargle blah.  I promise, I'm normally a very intelligent person.  I think my brain is just too quick to go into sleep mode.  ;D
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Bexx27

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12745 on: July 30, 2013, 12:34:42 PM »
Myself.  Or rather, my apparent inability to pay attention to obvious details when shopping online.

DD is learning how to drink from a cup on her own, and last week DH and I decided to look for some plastic cups with handles in case that would be easier for her to hold on to.  I poked around online, and was at first disappointed to find that pretty much all the handled cups on the website were sippy cups.  DH pointed out that we could just take off the cover and she could use it like a regular cup.  "Duh" moment number one; I should have realized that--it was obvious.    Anyway, I picked out a set based on price and number of good reviews and ordered them.

They arrived in the mail the other day, and DH pulled the package out of the box.  Shaking his head, he showed them to me.  The handles are on the sippy part of the cup!  Which was most likely plainly visible in the photo when I ordered them.  "Duh" moment number two.  So they're essentially useless to us, and I have to figure out how to exchange them.

That's twice in a single online order that I missed some obvious detail!  Argle bargle blah.  I promise, I'm normally a very intelligent person.  I think my brain is just too quick to go into sleep mode.  ;D

I prefer the standard cheap gerber sippy cups. They have handles on the cup part and their shape makes them very stable. I tried a bunch of different brands and these were my favorite.
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Layla Miller

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12746 on: July 30, 2013, 12:46:00 PM »
Myself.  Or rather, my apparent inability to pay attention to obvious details when shopping online.

DD is learning how to drink from a cup on her own, and last week DH and I decided to look for some plastic cups with handles in case that would be easier for her to hold on to.  I poked around online, and was at first disappointed to find that pretty much all the handled cups on the website were sippy cups.  DH pointed out that we could just take off the cover and she could use it like a regular cup.  "Duh" moment number one; I should have realized that--it was obvious.    Anyway, I picked out a set based on price and number of good reviews and ordered them.

They arrived in the mail the other day, and DH pulled the package out of the box.  Shaking his head, he showed them to me.  The handles are on the sippy part of the cup!  Which was most likely plainly visible in the photo when I ordered them.  "Duh" moment number two.  So they're essentially useless to us, and I have to figure out how to exchange them.

That's twice in a single online order that I missed some obvious detail!  Argle bargle blah.  I promise, I'm normally a very intelligent person.  I think my brain is just too quick to go into sleep mode.  ;D

I prefer the standard cheap gerber sippy cups. They have handles on the cup part and their shape makes them very stable. I tried a bunch of different brands and these were my favorite.

Thanks!  I'll see if I can exchange the ones I ordered for those.  And I'm sure I'll miss something crucial yet blindingly obvious along the way.  ;)
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exitzero

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12747 on: July 30, 2013, 03:26:51 PM »
Myself.  Or rather, my apparent inability to pay attention to obvious details when shopping online.

DD is learning how to drink from a cup on her own, and last week DH and I decided to look for some plastic cups with handles in case that would be easier for her to hold on to.  I poked around online, and was at first disappointed to find that pretty much all the handled cups on the website were sippy cups.  DH pointed out that we could just take off the cover and she could use it like a regular cup.  "Duh" moment number one; I should have realized that--it was obvious.    Anyway, I picked out a set based on price and number of good reviews and ordered them.

They arrived in the mail the other day, and DH pulled the package out of the box.  Shaking his head, he showed them to me.  The handles are on the sippy part of the cup!  Which was most likely plainly visible in the photo when I ordered them.  "Duh" moment number two.  So they're essentially useless to us, and I have to figure out how to exchange them.

That's twice in a single online order that I missed some obvious detail!  Argle bargle blah.  I promise, I'm normally a very intelligent person.  I think my brain is just too quick to go into sleep mode.  ;D

I'm just like that, but with menu descriptions. I'll order it because it says "chicken" and I'm in the mood for chicken, but when it comes I'm always shocked that it has someother ingrediants that never occured to me. Luckily, I'm not a fussy eater, but really, when will I learn to read a menu correctly?

Layla Miller

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12748 on: July 30, 2013, 03:32:34 PM »
Myself.  Or rather, my apparent inability to pay attention to obvious details when shopping online.

DD is learning how to drink from a cup on her own, and last week DH and I decided to look for some plastic cups with handles in case that would be easier for her to hold on to.  I poked around online, and was at first disappointed to find that pretty much all the handled cups on the website were sippy cups.  DH pointed out that we could just take off the cover and she could use it like a regular cup.  "Duh" moment number one; I should have realized that--it was obvious.    Anyway, I picked out a set based on price and number of good reviews and ordered them.

They arrived in the mail the other day, and DH pulled the package out of the box.  Shaking his head, he showed them to me.  The handles are on the sippy part of the cup!  Which was most likely plainly visible in the photo when I ordered them.  "Duh" moment number two.  So they're essentially useless to us, and I have to figure out how to exchange them.

That's twice in a single online order that I missed some obvious detail!  Argle bargle blah.  I promise, I'm normally a very intelligent person.  I think my brain is just too quick to go into sleep mode.  ;D

I'm just like that, but with menu descriptions. I'll order it because it says "chicken" and I'm in the mood for chicken, but when it comes I'm always shocked that it has someother ingrediants that never occured to me. Luckily, I'm not a fussy eater, but really, when will I learn to read a menu correctly?

It's funny you should mention that--I've done that, too!  A few weeks ago I had dinner at a restaurant for the first time and wanted something somewhat light.  I saw cheese ravioli and thought, perfect.  I ordered it and received a normal-sized portion of ravioli...on top of a humongous plateful of spaghetti!  It was listed that way in the menu, but I completely missed it.  I ate until I was full, but you'd never know I'd eaten anything, there was still so much food there.

(Seriously, the entire table could have split that spaghetti and walked away full.  :o)
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: What little things drive you completely up the wall....?
« Reply #12749 on: July 30, 2013, 04:53:45 PM »
Oddly, I tend to miss when pickles are served on the side.  If they're on the sandwich I'll see it and ask for it without the pickle, but it's like my brain glances over when a pickle's on the side and I don't think to tell the server to just leave off the pickle.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata