We had the insurance problem when we first put me on Partner's insurance. Her insurance covers domestic partners, we registered as domestic partners and had a piece of paper saying that yes we were in fact domestically partnered. According to her work, that's all we'd need to send the insurance company to prove I could be on her insurance. Then I had to have this conversation:
Insurance Person: In order to cover a spouse we need to a marriage license on file. You can send that to me at, blah, blah, blah.
Me: We already submitted our deceleration of domestic partnership. Do you have that on file?
IP: Yes we have that. But we need a marriage license.
Me: We don't have a marriage license, we're a same sex couple and can't get married in our state. But we are domestic partners. And domestic partners are covered.
IP: Oh yes, of course domestic partners are covered. We just need a marriage license.
Me: We don't have one.
IP: If you aren't married you can't be covered as a spouse.
Me: I want to be covered as a domestic partner.
IP: Sure, that's no problem, just need a marriage license.
Me: Your are aware same sex couple can't get married in all 50 states and in fact gay marriage is not recognized by the federal government? (this was a few years ago)
Me: So you know that same sex couple can't get a marriage license?
Me: And that domestic partnership is how same sex couples get health insurance for each other?
Me: And you offer that for domestic partner in a same sex relationship?
IP: Oh yes of course!
Me: So...a same sex couple would prove they are domestic partners by sending you....?
IP: A marriage license.
Me: Ok, I get it you have a script. I need your supervisor.
IP: Miss you don't need to speak with my supervisor, we can work this out if you just send me a marriage license.
Me: That's just not gonna happen. Can you please transfer me to anyone else?
Someone else hops on the line
New Person: Ma'Ma I understand you don't know where to send a copy of your marriage license too? You can fax it or email it or send it via mail, which would be most convenient for you?
It took awhile but eventually we got a supervisor who apologized and assured me our domestic partnership paperwork was fine and I was covered and free to get sick. We've never had any other problems, so I'm assuming it was someone who was in training and just sticking to the script at hand. We also had someone at the bank insist to set up a joint checking account we had to be legally married. I knew that wasn't the case at all. I could set up a joint account with my next door neighbor if I wanted too. We called over a supervisor who got us someone else to set up the account and she had a discussion about how anyone can set up a joint account with any with the other person.