"Are you two related?"

[Piratelvr1121]

My hubby's told me that when he shows people a picture he has of me in his wallet they refuse to believe his wife is the same age as him and tease him about robbing the cradle.  LOL.    We're both 31 and neither of us really look it.   Actually he's almost 32 but he's got this round baby face that makes him look younger.   

I rarely get carded anymore, so I guess I at least look 21.   

[Emmy]

DH was in the cell phone store to get an issue fixed.  He had a pic of me on the cell phone, in the picture I dressed in a colorful sweater and matching hat and standing by a Christmas tree.  The lady in the store asked if the picture was of his daughter.  He was 36 and I was 33.  I think DH looks great for his age in terms of having great skin and no wrinkles, but he does have a more manly than boyish face and some distinguished gray hairs mixed in with the brown.

Most people who have made an assumption aloud assume we are a couple, although when I first met some of DH's friends, they assumed he robbed the cradle.

[baglady]

I was born when my parents were 37 and 38, and this was at a time when it was pretty rare for people over 35 to have more kids. So I got mistaken for their granddaughter more than once. (And my siblings are much older, so my folks actually *did* have grandchildren close to my age.)

But what tops that was an acquaintance of mine who looks very tomboyish -- unisex wardrobe, crew cut. I thought she was a l*sbian for a long time because of her look and the fact that I met her at a Tret Fure concert (Tret is a l*sbian as are most of her fans).

But no. In her late 20s she married a guy in his early 40s ... and got mistaken for his *son*.

[Piratelvr1121]

I was born when my parents were 37 and 38, and this was at a time when it was pretty rare for people over 35 to have more kids. So I got mistaken for their granddaughter more than once. (And my siblings are much older, so my folks actually *did* have grandchildren close to my age.)

But what tops that was an acquaintance of mine who looks very tomboyish -- unisex wardrobe, crew cut. I thought she was a l*sbian for a long time because of her look and the fact that I met her at a Tret Fure concert (Tret is a l*sbian as are most of her fans).

But no. In her late 20s she married a guy in his early 40s ... and got mistaken for his *son*.

A few years ago my parents and brother took the boys for a weekend to visit my grandmother.  Brother was a senior in high school (we're 8 years apart) and my folks told me that in different areas of VA, people thought they were the parents, and in other area, they thought the boys were my brothers.  

And my boys (18 months apart) are always mistaken for twins. 

[JacklynHyde]

Rockhubby and his high school girlfriend used to be mistaken for fraternal twins, they looked so much alike (still do).  They used to freak people out with random PDAs, which were not exactly polite but definitely funny.

On the other hand, I've hung out with my brother and been asked if we were a couple.  Ewww.  I know we don't look that much alike, but ewww.

[BettyDraper]

I went to a flea market with a friend 20 years younger than I am and we were really having a great time. One of the vendors asked if we were related, we looked at each other in shock, and I said to my friend, "Oh my golly! I AM old enough to be your mother!" I don't think either one of us truly realized it before, even though we had discussed cultural differences in our age groups. I am also just a tad older than her eldest sibling.

At least the vendor didn't ask me if I was Mom. Whew! Vendor dodged an etiquette bullet on that one, didn't she?

Last year in a hotel lobby in Las Vegas a tour vendor barged up to my sister and me and asked "So, is this a mother-daughter trip?!"  with a big beaming smile.  We looked at one another, aghast, since there is less than two years difference in our ages.  Still wondering which one she thought was the mother, and which the daughter.  Frankly, not sure I want to know, though!   

[Piratelvr1121]

One day when on a bike trip with my two aunts, the older one came up to me with a big grin on her face and told me that someone mistook us for sisters.    And this was when I was 15 and she was in her mid-30's.   Can't blame her for being psyched.  I would have been too.

[Jocelyn]

My sister and father went on a guided tour together, and shared a hotel room rather than trying to room with strangers. My sister is married, so she has a different last name, and looks like Mom's side of the family; no one has ever said to her, 'oh, you look just like your dad'. There were different tour guides joining the trip along the way, and some of them just had to try to solve the myster. One guide asked my sister, 'have you known your friend long?' to which she replied, 'All my life; he's my father.' The man blushed.

[Piratelvr1121]

When my boys were preschool age, about 3 and 2 1/2, I used to take them to a local Big Chain Bookstore to play with the trains in the children's section.    One day when I was there, another mother looked at them and asked "Twins?" 

Granted, they could pass for fraternal twins as they do look a good deal alike aside from eye color and height.   I smiled and told her "No, actually, they're one day short of being exactly 18 months apart."  She nodded and said "Ohhhh, Irish twins, then." 

When I relayed this story to my dad later, he laughed and said "Actually that term applies to siblings born within 12 months of each other." 

[Piratelvr1121]

Just remember another related *no pun intended* assumption.

BG: When DH was 7mos old, his bio-father had enough of fatherhood.  Just left MIL and Dh, and filed for divorce, leaving MIL with a lot of credit card debt that he'd racked up.   When DH was about 3 or 4, MIL remarried, and her new husband (FIL) adopted DH and is "Dad" to DH. /BG

When DH and I first started dating, I didn't know this and asked him if he looked like his mom or his dad.   He said "Oh, I look like my father, but my dad and I look nothing alike."   He explained the difference and went on to tell me what happened when he forgot to tell his ex this information.

Now, since DH and FIL do not share any DNA, of course they wouldn't resemble each other physically, though personality wise they make a good argument for Nurture vs. Nature.    DH and MIL are of stocky build, average height, overweight, and blue eyed, and DH is blonde.   From pictures I've seen, he bears very strong resemblance to his bio-father.  Now, FIL is rail thin (buck 40 soaking wet and holding a brick-maybe), avg height, thinning dark hair and dark eyes, and an olive complexion. 

Not knowing any of this, not even that FIL was not DH's biological father, when the ex girlfriend first met them, she took one look at FIL and said to DH, "Wow, you don't look ANYTHING like your Dad!!"    I think it might have been the only time I felt bad for her, or was annoyed with DH on her behalf, since he hadn't warned her and let her walk into it.   He said "Well, I thought she'd be able to tell just by looking at him that I don't share DNA with him!!!" 

He did learn from his mistake though, and I'm so glad! LOL!

[BettyDraper]

I don't really see the faux pas there, or any reason to feel sorry for anyone.  It's not a gaffe to assume that someone is bio-related to the person they introduce as "Dad" and trite comments about family resemblances are pretty standard conversational fare when people meet for the first time. And there is no shame in having or being an adoptive parent so why not simply clear up the matter and move on?

No one needed to feel embarrassed or apologetic. 

[Piratelvr1121]

I don't really see the faux pas there, or any reason to feel sorry for anyone.  It's not a gaffe to assume that someone is bio-related to the person they introduce as "Dad" and trite comments about family resemblances are pretty standard conversational fare when people meet for the first time. And there is no shame in having or being an adoptive parent so why not simply clear up the matter and move on?

No one needed to feel embarrassed or apologetic. 

This is true, but (and I should have included this) according to DH there was a very awkward silence on IL's side for a few moments, and they both gave DH a look like "You didn't tell her?"  And apparently ex-gf was embarrassed because of the silence. 

They're not ashamed of the adoption, but DH's biological father is just something they very rarely discuss and when it is brought up, it's closed shortly after.   So they might have expected (hoped) that DH would have told her prior to the meeting so they wouldn't have to explain it. 

[GoldenGemini]

I tend to get the opposite of that!  Everyone says "gee, you look like your Dad". 

Except he is my step-father, so no actual DNA sharing. I find it funny and it doesn't bother him.

[Lady Snowdon]

I tend to get the opposite of that!  Everyone says "gee, you look like your Dad". 

Except he is my step-father, so no actual DNA sharing. I find it funny and it doesn't bother him.

While I was in London in 2001, I visited my step-father's cousin.  He, apparently, hadn't told her that he'd adopted me (no blood relation) and I never thought to mention it when I talked to her to set up the meeting.  When I met her in person, the first thing she said was "Oh, you have the *lastname* eyes!".  Ummm....yeah.  Awkward moment!  After I told my step-dad, he joked that it was the best argument for nuture over nature he'd ever heard!

[Piratelvr1121]

I swear, there are times I wonder if my friend and I are somehow related somewhere back.   Aside from some personality differences, like being more outspoken and outgoing than I am, and our differences in build - I'm petite (5'2") and she's tall and big boned.  Not overweight, but as she says, "there's not a petite thing about me!"   But aside from that, we're a lot alike, and it's kinda scary that we think so much alike!

I've been told we have the same eyes (shape, I guess, since they're a different color) and same smile.