Author Topic: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive  (Read 33136 times)

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Jolie_kitten

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Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« on: March 27, 2010, 05:58:02 AM »
Seriously mind-numbing:
(my comments in red)
Vendors0627-06:
I recently attended the wedding of a friend that was beautiful right up to the end.  A tad of background information.  This couple "Bob" and "Jane" had dated for several years.  They ultimately broke up because of religion - namely Bob's.  He belonged to a very fundamentalist church that believed bigotry was ok if you weren't a member of their church.  Jane didn't want any future children raised in a faith like that.   I more or less lost touch with them and was surprised to hear they had gotten back together and were getting married.  I guess they worked out their differences.  Fast forward to the wedding.  The bride and groom were beautiful and everything went without a hitch.  Until the end.  The bride and groom, their attendants, the parents and grandparents all proceeded down the aisle to exit the church.  The ushers (members of the church - they were not part of the wedding party) then proceeded to close the doors to the church and stand in front of them - effectively locking the guests in the church.  Whaaaat?
For the next 15 minutes the preacher tried to convert all the guests to his religion.Oh my... Someone tried to convert me to a certain religion once in a kebab shop- and those were some looong minutes. At least I wasn't locked up.  We were told how we were going to hell because we weren't members of his religion. I've heard this line and I seriously hate it. How we had to accept Jesus in our lives and we were going to hell if we didn't - and only his church could help us accept Jesus fully.  The final straw was his speech on what a shame it was that bridal dowries weren't around anymore because a father deserved something for raising a daughter - the not-so-subtle implication being that women were useless and a burden to their families. Heard this line too. hate it too. Shouldn't religion teach us that all are equal in front of God?I was floored!    After his speech was over the ushers opened the doors and we were allowed to leave.  Never in my life have I been subjected to something so insulting.  If he had even couched it in terms of the couple - i.e. we are obviously important to them and they deserve our support in their religious life blah blah blah I would have been fine with it.  But to assume the people in the pews were there to be converted was unforgivable.  I'm sorry to say I will never attend another wedding celebrated by anyone in that particular faith - I'm afraid they'll hold me hostage again!I'd be, too!

Vendors1122-06
On to my tale of woe--luckily, this wasn't my wedding, but my uncle's. He (and his family) were/are Roman Catholic and the (now ex) bride-to-be's was Methodist. For their wedding they decided to co-mingle their two faiths in the ceremony, having both a priest and a minister. I love the idea. If only those involved had a little wisdom...All seemed to be going all right (some snuffiness on behalf of the priest and a fair amount of "Popery!" from the minister, Wouldn't they, in Christian terms, commit the sin of pride?but they seemed to have a handle on things), until the ceremony itself. Picture if you will a full wedding mass, this was followed by the minister being first up to bat. He proceeded to announce where the Catholic church (in general) and the priest (in particular) were totally wrong on various questions of faith. Hey, dude, you're here to officiate a ceremony/celebrate the joy of the bride and groom, not hold theological debatesNext up, the priest, who gave his rebuttal to the minister's points and then got in a few zingers on the Methodist church and the minister himself. Idem.

That should have concluded things, however.... The minister bestirred himself again, rebutted the priest and began painting imagery of the "Whore of Babylon," all the while staring at the priest.Okaaay... Did someone say the w- word in front of the wedding party? Priest popped back up and started in on the pains of hell for those not following, "the one true faith" I hate that "one true faith" thingand drawing unflattering verbal descriptions of Henry the VIII and the various schisms that followed his establishing the Church of England. Long story somewhat shorter, 4 hours and 45 minutes later (!) they finally announced that uncle and wife were wedded. I kept waiting for the fist fight to break out or possibly a scoreboard to drop from the ceiling to show who was ahead on points.Tacky, tacky,tacky



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kherbert05

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2010, 07:12:59 AM »
I the first story. I would have walked to the doors and tried to leave. If prevented, I would have called 911 about the now hostage situation. Either the Bride and Groom were fellow hostages or they were in on the hostage taking.
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Mopsy428

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2010, 10:24:18 AM »
I the first story. I would have walked to the doors and tried to leave. If prevented, I would have called 911 about the now hostage situation. Either the Bride and Groom were fellow hostages or they were in on the hostage taking.
Me too. And if I didn't have a phone (this could have been pre-cell phone days), I probably would have climbed out a window, and then reported it to the police.

Shea

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2010, 01:04:10 PM »
Where's the jaw-dropping smiley when you need it??  :o :o :o Rude, rude, on all the clergymens' accounts.

I remember when one of my cousins died several years ago, at his funeral service the preacher finished off his speech (not really a sermon as it was about the deceased) by giving those of us who were not members of the church a little lecture about how if we didn't accept Diety ASAP we were all headed directly to the Very Hot Place because Diety judges us all harshly...etc. Really? A funeral is not the place to be promoting your own agenda! I guess maybe he thought we would be feeling emotionally vulnerable following the death and therefore more open to joining his church. Nice.


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Jander

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2010, 02:50:09 PM »
Well the preacher in the first scenario's ridiculous speach would not have been heard over the fuss I would have made had I been imprisoned inside a church.
I don't care what your religion is, how crazy does someone have to be to think they have the right to *lock people up* until they agree with you?

Bellantara

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2010, 03:45:37 PM »
Where's the jaw-dropping smiley when you need it??  :o :o :o Rude, rude, on all the clergymens' accounts.

I remember when one of my cousins died several years ago, at his funeral service the preacher finished off his speech (not really a sermon as it was about the deceased) by giving those of us who were not members of the church a little lecture about how if we didn't accept Diety ASAP we were all headed directly to the Very Hot Place because Diety judges us all harshly...etc. Really? A funeral is not the place to be promoting your own agenda! I guess maybe he thought we would be feeling emotionally vulnerable following the death and therefore more open to joining his church. Nice.

Pastor who spoke at my stepmother's funeral did this, to a lesser extent.  Dad was not pleased; my brother and I sat and watched him, thinking, "oh, crud, he's gonna go after the idjit, and then what do we do?"

Jolie_kitten

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2010, 02:55:29 AM »
@ Shea & Bellantara- sorry to hear about your experience. Well, at least you can sentence the preacher to Etiquette Very Hot Place here right back!  >:D :P :P
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Shea

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2010, 01:55:24 PM »
Where's the jaw-dropping smiley when you need it??  :o :o :o Rude, rude, on all the clergymens' accounts.

I remember when one of my cousins died several years ago, at his funeral service the preacher finished off his speech (not really a sermon as it was about the deceased) by giving those of us who were not members of the church a little lecture about how if we didn't accept Diety ASAP we were all headed directly to the Very Hot Place because Diety judges us all harshly...etc. Really? A funeral is not the place to be promoting your own agenda! I guess maybe he thought we would be feeling emotionally vulnerable following the death and therefore more open to joining his church. Nice.

Pastor who spoke at my stepmother's funeral did this, to a lesser extent.  Dad was not pleased; my brother and I sat and watched him, thinking, "oh, crud, he's gonna go after the idjit, and then what do we do?"

Oh yes, my aunt (deceased cousin's mother) was horrified. She's also a member of the church, but not the sort to tell anyone else to convert or burn. Preacher had obviously not cleared that part of his speech with her beforehand. Way to make the poor woman feel even worse at her son's funeral.


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Yarnspinner

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2010, 02:23:10 PM »
Some time ago a friend's father passed away.  This man had suffered several years of cancer related illness, treatment, the effects of the treatment...and he remained cheerful throughout and went so far as to help out in the hospital clinics with new cancer sufferers.

In addition, the guy was very kind, popular and generous to a fault with even the least acquaintance.  Waiting on the line for his wake was like waiting for a popular ride at Disneyland; so many people had come to pay their respect for his many good acts and kindnesses over the years that we waited almost an hour just to get IN the funeral home.

Ditto the church.  Packed.  To the rafters with people standing outside.

And the priest used this opportunity NOT to talk about John at all.  Instead he began with "Now, I am sure there are many of you here who think that Brother John has been taken into heaven and the arms of the father.  But to tell the truth, how do we know that Brother John hasn't been fooling us all these years.  For all we know, God has punished him in hell for years of lip service and imposture."

My friend had to hold her sister down from beating the priest to a pulp.  Honestly, the sound of jaws dropping all over the room nearly cut off the rest of the priest's ranting lecture.  By the time my friend's mother had passed, they had found a new church and much more sensitive and intelligent priest.

The nerve of that awful little man!

Jolie_kitten

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2010, 03:18:50 PM »
How appaling!!! :-[
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missmolly

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2010, 06:04:23 PM »
Some time ago a friend's father passed away.  This man had suffered several years of cancer related illness, treatment, the effects of the treatment...and he remained cheerful throughout and went so far as to help out in the hospital clinics with new cancer sufferers.

In addition, the guy was very kind, popular and generous to a fault with even the least acquaintance.  Waiting on the line for his wake was like waiting for a popular ride at Disneyland; so many people had come to pay their respect for his many good acts and kindnesses over the years that we waited almost an hour just to get IN the funeral home.

Ditto the church.  Packed.  To the rafters with people standing outside.

And the priest used this opportunity NOT to talk about John at all.  Instead he began with "Now, I am sure there are many of you here who think that Brother John has been taken into heaven and the arms of the father.  But to tell the truth, how do we know that Brother John hasn't been fooling us all these years.  For all we know, God has punished him in hell for years of lip service and imposture."

My friend had to hold her sister down from beating the priest to a pulp.  Honestly, the sound of jaws dropping all over the room nearly cut off the rest of the priest's ranting lecture.  By the time my friend's mother had passed, they had found a new church and much more sensitive and intelligent priest.

The nerve of that awful little man!

That man should have been expelled. How disgusting.
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ladycrim

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2010, 02:45:09 PM »
Where's the jaw-dropping smiley when you need it??  :o :o :o Rude, rude, on all the clergymens' accounts.

I remember when one of my cousins died several years ago, at his funeral service the preacher finished off his speech (not really a sermon as it was about the deceased) by giving those of us who were not members of the church a little lecture about how if we didn't accept Diety ASAP we were all headed directly to the Very Hot Place because Diety judges us all harshly...etc. Really? A funeral is not the place to be promoting your own agenda! I guess maybe he thought we would be feeling emotionally vulnerable following the death and therefore more open to joining his church. Nice.

The one time I considered joining a House of Worship Not My Own was at a funeral - but it was for the opposite reason.  There was not the slightest hint of a conversion attempt.  The minister took such a wonderful approach to the service that I actually felt uplifted.  Imagine - going to a House of Worship and hearing positive message instead of the fire and brimstone the preachers in our two samples above are offering.

ladycrim

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #12 on: March 29, 2010, 02:50:14 PM »
Some time ago a friend's father passed away.  This man had suffered several years of cancer related illness, treatment, the effects of the treatment...and he remained cheerful throughout and went so far as to help out in the hospital clinics with new cancer sufferers.

In addition, the guy was very kind, popular and generous to a fault with even the least acquaintance.  Waiting on the line for his wake was like waiting for a popular ride at Disneyland; so many people had come to pay their respect for his many good acts and kindnesses over the years that we waited almost an hour just to get IN the funeral home.

Ditto the church.  Packed.  To the rafters with people standing outside.

And the priest used this opportunity NOT to talk about John at all.  Instead he began with "Now, I am sure there are many of you here who think that Brother John has been taken into heaven and the arms of the father.  But to tell the truth, how do we know that Brother John hasn't been fooling us all these years.  For all we know, God has punished him in hell for years of lip service and imposture."

My friend had to hold her sister down from beating the priest to a pulp.  Honestly, the sound of jaws dropping all over the room nearly cut off the rest of the priest's ranting lecture.  By the time my friend's mother had passed, they had found a new church and much more sensitive and intelligent priest.

The nerve of that awful little man!

... So, you can commit sins and you'll still get into heaven as long as you didn't mean them?  Sweet.

Seriously, I am appalled and disgusted.  I'm amazed there wasn't a stampede (though I'm not sure which direction it would have gone in).

snowfire

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #13 on: March 30, 2010, 12:02:45 AM »
Pastor who spoke at my stepmother's funeral did this, to a lesser extent.  Dad was not pleased; my brother and I sat and watched him, thinking, "oh, crud, he's gonna go after the idjit, and then what do we do?"

Sell tickets??? >:D I've never met Warbaby in person, but I can just see him reading this idjit the riot act...and I'd be helping him.

I'm sorry you had to put up with that.

aventurine

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Re: Two preacher stories from the wedding archive
« Reply #14 on: March 30, 2010, 01:04:25 AM »
I've never met Warbaby in person, but I can just see him reading this idjit the riot act...

I'm sorry you had to put up with that.

My thoughts exactly.  Bella, give him my regards, would you?




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