Two preacher stories from the wedding archive

[JadeAngel]

My grandmothers funeral was the scene for a jaw dropping rant from her priest. She was a churchgoer, but she was more interested in the social aspect rather than the spiritual. She liked to be on flower arranging committees and teach Sunday school and have afternoon teas with the ladies of the church.

It should have been a big hint when he arrived (unannounced) at the hospital and marched into her room insisting that she would want to see him more than her family while his wife stood up for him rather snippily when several family members protested because 'he's the reverend'. In regards to the funeral he 'decided' that the eldest brother, my uncle, would speak on behalf of the family - a stipulation that was neatly gotten around when the eldest brother made a short eulogy and then invited my father to join him at the lectern. He also 'decided' that music was to be provided by his snippy wife on a Hammond organ and that his eulogy would be followed by a short reading from the junior priest (who at least had the good sense to appear horribly embarassed by the whole thing.)

Well he got up to make his eulogy and in fifteen minutes he mentioned ONE thing about my grandmother. He'd known her for ten years and apparently the only thing he could think of to say about her was that she made nice sandwiches. The rest of the time was a browbeating sermon about the lyrics of Amazing Grace and how they were a 'wonderful promise from God'. He finished up by refusing to tell people that there was going to be a wake at my parents house and conducting us all out of the church accompanied by screeching from a very much abused Hammond organ.

The most humorous thing about it was that he was a rather short man, so in order to see over the lectern he literally stood

On
a
Soap
Box...



(still would have been funnier if I'd kicked him off it though) 

[mbbored]

I find the second one hard to believe...people sat there for almost 5 hours waiting for the priest & minister to finish debating?

[LifeOnPluto]

I find the second one hard to believe...people sat there for almost 5 hours waiting for the priest & minister to finish debating?

I was about to point this out too. Surely everyone would have walked out by then! (Unless, like the first story, they'd also been locked in the church!)

[SkyTalon]

I find the second one hard to believe...people sat there for almost 5 hours waiting for the priest & minister to finish debating?

I was about to point this out too. Surely everyone would have walked out by then! (Unless, like the first story, they'd also been locked in the church!)

I could believe it, if the situation was really that awkward.

Some wouldn't feel comfortable abandoning the likely horrified HC.
Some didn't want to draw flack from either of the angry holy men by trying to slip out while they are giving their rant.
Others might just want to watch the spectacle.
A few likely did sneak out or otherwise voted with their feet.

[mbbored]

I find the second one hard to believe...people sat there for almost 5 hours waiting for the priest & minister to finish debating?

I was about to point this out too. Surely everyone would have walked out by then! (Unless, like the first story, they'd also been locked in the church!)

I could believe it, if the situation was really that awkward.

Some wouldn't feel comfortable abandoning the likely horrified HC.
Some didn't want to draw flack from either of the angry holy men by trying to slip out while they are giving their rant.
Others might just want to watch the spectacle.
A few likely did sneak out or otherwise voted with their feet.
[/quote

I thought of something else that bothers me about that story.  Now, I don't claim to be an authority, but I used to be a volunteer wedding coordinator for a few Catholic churches.  There was a very strict format to the service, with specific guidelines for what to do if a minister of another faith was involved.  I don't see any of the priests I've worked with over the years deviating from that plan.

[kherbert05]

I thought of something else that bothers me about that story.  Now, I don't claim to be an authority, but I used to be a volunteer wedding coordinator for a few Catholic churches.  There was a very strict format to the service, with specific guidelines for what to do if a minister of another faith was involved.  I don't see any of the priests I've worked with over the years deviating from that plan.

Also most Weddings are on Saturday and have to be done about an hour before Saturday Evening Mass.

[Shoo]

Some time ago a friend's father passed away.  This man had suffered several years of cancer related illness, treatment, the effects of the treatment...and he remained cheerful throughout and went so far as to help out in the hospital clinics with new cancer sufferers.

In addition, the guy was very kind, popular and generous to a fault with even the least acquaintance.  Waiting on the line for his wake was like waiting for a popular ride at Disneyland; so many people had come to pay their respect for his many good acts and kindnesses over the years that we waited almost an hour just to get IN the funeral home.

Ditto the church.  Packed.  To the rafters with people standing outside.

And the priest used this opportunity NOT to talk about John at all.  Instead he began with "Now, I am sure there are many of you here who think that Brother John has been taken into heaven and the arms of the father.  But to tell the truth, how do we know that Brother John hasn't been fooling us all these years.  For all we know, God has punished him in hell for years of lip service and imposture."

My friend had to hold her sister down from beating the priest to a pulp.  Honestly, the sound of jaws dropping all over the room nearly cut off the rest of the priest's ranting lecture.  By the time my friend's mother had passed, they had found a new church and much more sensitive and intelligent priest.

The nerve of that awful little man!

In a church packed with people who loved him, did anyone rush the pulpit and escort the priest out?

[Shea]

I'm going to have to revive this thread for this story.

I described my cousin's funeral with the obnoxious preacher upthread. Well, my aunt (the same one in the story) died a week ago and I attended her funeral today. Same church, same preacher. The preacher (whom one of my cousins has begun referring to as the Reverend Used Car Salesman for his sleazy manner) did the exact same thing that he did at the cousin's funeral. Again with the lecture about accepting Diety if we didn't want to go to the Very Hot Place. I'm beginning to think that this is just the Rev. UCS's normal thing at funeral services.

I'm trying not to be mad because I know Aunt would have just forgiven him for his lack of tact. But Aunt was the most non-judgmental person on the face of the earth and never ever tried to make anyone feel bad for not having the same religious beliefs she did. She would not have wanted a lecture on the importance of conversion at her funeral. So now I'm both sad because she's gone and angry at that lousy preacher.

[Jander]

I'm going to have to revive this thread for this story.

I described my cousin's funeral with the obnoxious preacher upthread. Well, my aunt (the same one in the story) died a week ago and I attended her funeral today. Same church, same preacher. The preacher (whom one of my cousins has begun referring to as the Reverend Used Car Salesman for his sleazy manner) did the exact same thing that he did at the cousin's funeral. Again with the lecture about accepting Diety if we didn't want to go to the Very Hot Place. I'm beginning to think that this is just the Rev. UCS's normal thing at funeral services.

I'm trying not to be mad because I know Aunt would have just forgiven him for his lack of tact. But Aunt was the most non-judgmental person on the face of the earth and never ever tried to make anyone feel bad for not having the same religious beliefs she did. She would not have wanted a lecture on the importance of conversion at her funeral. So now I'm both sad because she's gone and angry at that lousy preacher.

How awful! Whether this kind of behaviour is standard practice for this preacher or not, he needs to knock it off for funerals. A funeral should reflect the deceased, not the preacher.
My sympathies on the loss of your Aunt.

[Piratelvr1121]

My husband told me a story about a priest with an appaling lack of tact at a funeral.   DH's grandmother, Julie, had been suffering from a fatal illness for some time, I think it was cancer (I've never been told what she was sick from) and in a lot of pain that led to her taking her own life.

Well at the funeral mass, because she committed suicide, the priest stood up in front of the grieving family members and announced that he wasn't sure if Julie wouldn't be going to the Very Hot Place because of what she'd done, and the Catholic church believes it's a sin to take your own life.   

DH and his family members were furious with the priest.  Regardless of what the church believes, it's not the kind of thing you say at a funeral mass before their family members who are grieving the deceased.

[look in the tunk]

I find the second one hard to believe...people sat there for almost 5 hours waiting for the priest & minister to finish debating?

I was about to point this out too. Surely everyone would have walked out by then! (Unless, like the first story, they'd also been locked in the church!)

I'm with you - nearly 5 hours? I'm assuming, if this is true, some definitely did leave, especially those with children.

For the first story, I'm dying to know what denomination this was. If anyone has a clue... I'd love a PM. I'm too curious.

[Shoo]

Yeah, I don't believe the second one at all.  No one is going to sit in a church pew for 4 hours and 45 minutes while two clergymen argue.  That is just ridiculous. 

[look in the tunk]

Not to mention what happened to the bridal party... did everyone just stand up there silent for 5 hours?

[Odium43]

I had a somewhat similar experience at the wedding of my cousin. The bride and groom as well as both their parents were hardcore Born Again Christians, almost to the point of being fanatical. The ceremony lasted a good 2 1/2 hours and maybe only 25 minutes of it was actually spent talking about marriage and the couple, the rest was a speech about being saved and accepting Jesus and joining the church. The extended family is massive and not one of them besides the immediate families of the bride and groom were members of this church. It was very uncomfortable and the worst part was that the bride and groom and their families seemed perfectly fine with this. a few months after the wedding my great grandmother(who was a very devout Catholic) died, and the bride's father, my mother's brother, had the audacity to mention, at the funeral, that he really wished grandma had accepted Jesus before she died so that she could've gone to heaven. It was all completely disgusting.

[Kimblee]

At my parents wedding, the minister was a "family friend's" father, and was either in the early stages of dementia, or just weird. But he went into a fire and brimstone sermon about Lust and Unchaste Women, and it was apprently pretty awful. But then he bellowed "Who among you are the Whoremongerers!?" And my uncle Jimmy stood up and yelled right back "I'm over here!"

Of course my grandmother and her evil posse were fuming, but my father claims it was the best part of the ceremony.