Author Topic: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)  (Read 5722 times)

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Onyx_TKD

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From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« on: April 12, 2010, 11:19:43 AM »
    Recently I attended a bridal shower for a young lady.  Besides numerous faux pas (which I may share at another point in time), I was shocked when the bride’s mother finally came up to me—dressed in tight, ripped jeans and a tight spagetti-strap shirt.  Both myself and the guest who had driven with me had taken great care to dress in nice slacks and tops. After glancing around the room, I saw that most of the “young” people there were also dressed in sloppy jeans, cut off shorts, tight-tight tops, etc.

    Okay, so I thought maybe this was just a one-time weird event until I went to a baby shower for a friend’s son.  My friend (the grandma-to-be) was dressed in a nice dress, but her daughter, who was the hostess of the shower, was…again…dressed in a tight-tight black spaghetti strap top with the words “Billy’s Mom” across her large bosom - so of course everyone had to stare at her chest in order to read what was written across it. Because she was the main hostess,  she had taken it upon herself to transport the gifts from the gift table to the mother to-be so her ample bosom bounced across the room every few minutes to bring a new gift.

    Is it me, or am I out of the new generational loop where there’s an entirely new dress code for special events like bridal showers and wedding showers? Do these folks not know how they look? Is it more important to feel “comfortable” or do they honestly think they are wearing “nice” clothing? Don’t take me wrong, I am not of the “country club” set nor do I wear “nice” clothes often - I run a small farm, so you’ll find me most days in jeans and boots. But come on, I think it is appropriate and respectful to dress nicely to someone’s special event.   0411-10


Onyx's comments:
Does anyone else think this submitter made herself a very unsympathetic character?

First of all, from my understanding of the story, many of the "sloppily"-dressed people seemed to be people close to the guest-of-honor and/or organizers of the shower (the mom-to-be's mother, the dad-to-be's sister who was also the hostess, the "young people" who were likely friends of the parents-to-be, etc.), which makes me think it was probably the submitter who was mistaken about the formality level, not the "sloppy" people. She didn't mention what the parent(s)-to-be at either shower wore, which I think would be very telling about the formality level they (the guests of honor) would have wanted.

Second, the way she describes the other people really puts me off. She and her friend "took great care" to dress in "nice slacks", but the "'young' people" dressed in "sloppy jeans"--I really wish I knew what the quotation marks around "young" were supposed to imply. Were they actually "young people", in which case there's no need for quotations, or is the submitter trying to imply that they weren't young but were acting "too young"? And then there was the description of the hostess of the second shower, a lady with "the words “Billy’s Mom” across her large bosom - so of course everyone had to stare at her chest in order to read what was written across it. Because she was the main hostess,  she had taken it upon herself to transport the gifts from the gift table to the mother to-be so her ample bosom bounced across the room every few minutes to bring a new gift." (emphasis mine). Regardless of whether her attire was appropriate, was that description necessary? Writing on shirts generally does go across the chest; it's not like the woman had to special-order that word-placement just to draw attention to her chest--it's more likely she would have to specify if she wanted to get a shirt with the words elsewhere. Bringing the gifts over to the guest of honor seems like a pretty obvious and normal job for a shower hostess, isn't it? Saying she had "taken it upon herself" makes it sound like some bizarre look-at-me attention grab.  ??? And her "ample bosom bounced"--would she have commented, or even noticed, if the bosom of an equally well-endowed lady in "nice slacks and top" had bounced when she walked?

These kind of posts make me sad, and I don't even like the tight tank tops and cutoffs fashion. :-\

DangerMouth

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2010, 11:32:34 AM »
I get what you're saying. While I think a special ocaission is made more special by dressing up, even a little, the LW's focus on other people's natural attributes seems a little creepy to me.

I'd also "like" to send this entire "missive" to the "blog" of unneccessary quotation "marks" :D

immadz

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2010, 04:19:51 PM »
I get what you're saying. While I think a special ocaission is made more special by dressing up, even a little, the LW's focus on other people's natural attributes seems a little creepy to me.

I'd also "like" to send this entire "missive" to the "blog" of unneccessary quotation "marks" :D

I agree. It sounds to me like the writer didn't appropriately predict the level of formality required of the events. Also, seems like she wasn't directly related to the guests of honor in either event. Her entire post came across as being rather judgmental to me.


missmolly

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2010, 08:07:33 PM »
I get what you're saying. While I think a special ocaission is made more special by dressing up, even a little, the LW's focus on other people's natural attributes seems a little creepy to me.

I'd also "like" to send this entire "missive" to the "blog" of unneccessary quotation "marks" :D

That and the fact that she theorises that most of the actions of the hostess are intended to show them off.
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Animala

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2010, 08:42:41 PM »
The LW's fixation on the hostess's breasts is a bit disconcerting, however I do believe she has a point.  I've noticed that a good deal of young ladies (I know I'm so old at 34) either dress in pajamas or clubbing clothes and there seems to be nothing in between. 

I think perhaps people don't have different wardrobes for levels of events anymore.  I know growing up we had play clothes, school clothes, sunday clothes which would work for almost anything semiformal and then a formal dress or two.

iridaceae

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2010, 06:30:49 AM »
The LW's fixation on the hostess's breasts is a bit disconcerting, however I do believe she has a point.  I've noticed that a good deal of young ladies (I know I'm so old at 34) either dress in pajamas or clubbing clothes and there seems to be nothing in between. 

I think perhaps people don't have different wardrobes for levels of events anymore.  I know growing up we had play clothes, school clothes, sunday clothes which would work for almost anything semiformal and then a formal dress or two.

I wonder how well she knows the baby shower people. The baby shower I went to was extremely casual- it was the mohter-to-be's good friends and her mother and it was very jeans and a tee-shirt and no one expected anything else as that's how the mother-to-be and her family- and the friends as well, to be honest- are most of the time and wanted the shower to be. 

immadz

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2010, 01:19:17 PM »
The way the OP keeps referring to the guests of honor and hostess in both cases as "young lady" it makes me think she was not particularly close to either of them. In the case of the baby shower she does admit that she is the friend of the grandmother not the mother. In all honesty, I think the hostess and guest should not have invited her. They were having an event which was more informal than convention and too informal for the letter writer whom they did not know well. Or they could maybe have communicated the level of formality of the occasion better. The need to have multiple receptions and multiple baby showers so as not to insult everybody is becoming more clear.


BeagleMommy

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2010, 03:39:39 PM »
My own baby shower was held in September on a 90 degree day.  Everyone was wearing shorts or sundresses (including me - the GOH).

If it had been in a hall or restaurant, of course we would have dressed to the location.  It was held in my mother's backyard.

I think the LW misjudged the level of formality.

rashea

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2010, 03:55:05 PM »
The follow up post just makes it worse to me. This poster needs to get over her odd obsession with what other people are wearing.
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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2010, 04:29:11 PM »
My own baby shower was held in September on a 90 degree day.  Everyone was wearing shorts or sundresses (including me - the GOH).

If it had been in a hall or restaurant, of course we would have dressed to the location.  It was held in my mother's backyard.

I think the LW misjudged the level of formality.

I would do the same thing should i ever get stuck with a shower, and i think you are right about her misjudgement. I would hate to think a friend of mine would dress up for my super casual "special event" and then feel like poking fun at the guests who were dressed at the appropriate level of formality (or lack thereof). I have friends who really like dressing up and that's fine if you want to (over)dress, IMO; but not to ctiticize those who do not.

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Onyx_TKD

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #10 on: April 13, 2010, 04:35:09 PM »
The follow up post just makes it worse to me. This poster needs to get over her odd obsession with what other people are wearing.

I know.  :( The first post makes it sound like she would have latched on to the "beach picnic outfit" wearer as an ally against the tank top and jeans wearers. Striped shirts and white capris aren't formal, but it sounds like a perfectly nice spring/summer outfit on the spiffier end of casual (i.e. not ultra-casual, not "beach bum" clothes, not overly revealing, nothing "sloppy" about it, like what she complained about before). Instead of being pleased that someone is coming closer to her standards, she dismisses it as something that only twins or triplets going to a reunion would wear, and seems truly offended that she was subjected to the matching outfits! (What does it really have to do with her that they match anyway?)

Sure, trying to get their mother to match when she wasn't interested was out of line, especially if it was making the other guests/onlookers uncomfortable, but if the three sisters enjoyed matching in otherwise appropriate outfits, then more power to them!

Clara Bow

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2010, 02:46:10 PM »
The part of the follow up that bothered me was the three women trying to force their mother into the matching outfit. That was weird.

I have commented before that people seem to have lost the ability to dress up anymore. As a PP said, it's either pajamas or eye-popping clubgear these days. But at the end of the day it's just clothes. If the hostess and GOH at the shower have made it "dress down friendly" then more power to them. I'd be more comfortable in jeans than in a dress.

The mother in the skin tight tank dress with words emblazoned on the front....sounds like she's guilty of wearing an ill-fitting garment. Nothing more. And the fact that she was carrying the gifts in to the table tells me that (bosom bouncing or not) she was being a good hostess. Honestly, who has to "stare" to read two words?
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supernova

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2010, 03:35:36 PM »
Apparently inappropriate dress at non-dress-code events is a greater social sin than staring at your hostess' chest for so long that you can describe it in lengthy purple prose? 

Interesting.  ;)

     - saphie

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2010, 05:18:27 AM »
Apparently inappropriate dress at non-dress-code events is a greater social sin than staring at your hostess' chest for so long that you can describe it in lengthy purple prose? 

Interesting.  ;)

     - saphie

That was pretty much exactly my thoughts. Not that there is anything wrong with appreciating the sight of an ample bosom, but she could be a bit more discreet about it!  ;D

Morty'sCleaningLady

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Re: From E-Hell Blog: Dress it up! (0411-10)
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2010, 11:41:22 AM »
Personally, I think the letter writer has a point.  Showers are traditionally an event for which one wears a nice outfit.  If I showed up at an event where the mother of the guest of honor was in ripped jeans, I'd probably be writing in to Miss Jean.
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