So, I've been kind of peeved about this since it happened, but I'm not sure if I should be, or if I handled it well.
bg: 1) I've been friends with the girl in question here, "Suzie", for about 4, going on 5 years now. We've been through a lot, but we're still fairly close. She's been known to have etiquette faux pas, but nothing serious, really.
2) My hometown is about an hour and a half away from where I attend college.
3) My dorm has a tradition of having a dinner for resident's birthdays; the birthday person picks the restaurant and everyone gets gussied up, and pays for their own meals, should they choose to go. It's also open to friends from outside the dorm. I invited a mix from in the dorm and out, everyone had someone they knew. /bg.
My friends and I went out for my birthday to a restaurant. It was a significant birthday to me, and I wanted to give my guests something they didn't have to pay for .Red velvet cake is my favorite and I ordered one from a bakery. All was fine and dandy until unexpected expenses came up: thus, I didn't have enough money in my checking and the bakery didn't take the sole credit card I owned. So, since Suzie and I have a "you have my back, I'll have yours" situation, I asked if she could pay for the cake, and I would pay for both her and her fiance's dinners, whatever they wanted, which would even out. She agreed enthusiastically. I asked her to keep mum about the arrangement, because I was raised never to talk about money when it's not necessary.
Everything went fine; we had a good time getting dressed up and making the journey with everyone to the restaurant. When we sat down, I was at the head of the table, and Suzie's Fiance (SF) was between Suzie and I. On the other side were a good friend that Suzie and SF had met before, but not "met" if that makes sense, and a new friend to whom they'd only been introduced that night.
When we sit down to order Suzie asks in a rather loud voice "so we can get anything, right? And you'll pay for it?" We had already gone over this before, so I was a bit confused and just nodded yes with a "why are you speaking about this in front of people who don't need to know" face. My friend O, their new acquaintance (he's rather vocal as well) "Wait, you're making the birthday girl pay for her own meal and yours?" I was about to bean-dip and S jumps to her defense "Well, we paid for her cake which was over $70 (it was for thirty people
) , so we earned it". If I could have blushed, I would have been a beet. O looked at me, and I changed the subject to pontificating on my drink and the merits of ginger ale with lemon and lime. It was dropped. Food is ordered and exclaimed over, and all seems past.
Dinner is over, and the cake comes out. Suzie makes the comment that it will be a "test run" for her and fiance's wedding cake. This rubbed me the wrong way because well, it wasn't. I kept quiet and started serving cake. (it passed, for what it's worth.) There was quite a bit of left overs, and we all traipsed home,happy and full. Suzie and Fiance started to head home, as they had driven up for the party and to spend the day. I thanked them for their generosity, and offered cake, which got forgotten in the chitchat with other friends.
I don't hear from them until Monday. It's a text from suzie, asking how much cake is left. I tell her, curious. She then asks me to mail some to her and fiance. I said that won't be possible, I wasn't sure how they could get some, but they're welcome to some if they can get it. Silence. Tuesday I get a text saying they'll be coming up Wednesday, could I go to dinner with them? This being an hour- plus drive, I was confused, but, ok. It turned into a catch-up session and dinner at a mexican place with massive burritos. They had also invited O along, who attends my Uni. The more the merrier, right? We had fun, bonded, what have you.
While we're in the car, Suzie starts telling a story with considerable embellishment. Not only did she insert herself into a story she never was in, she made my dad look like a blithering, cussing idiot. (it was a story about me learning to drive, and while he did utter uncouth things, it was one word, and not without reason). I didn't want to call her out directly, so I just corrected the most egregious parts and let it go. We eat; we get back to my dorm after dropping O off. I bring the cake to the car, expecting them to carve some slices (at most, half of what was left) and leave the rest. There were plenty of friends here who were eyeing it as well, and they never mentioned taking the entirety of the rest of the cake. Suzie grabs the box, peers inside. "It was so worth it." She stashes the box in the back seat, hugs-and-they're-off.
I'm left speechless and rather miffed.
I chalk it up to a misunderstanding and go back inside. I end up on facebook, and I see her postings to O.
This is what it said:
S- "hey, we're heading up Wednedsay to get cake. Wanna get dinner with us and Ascension?"
O- "sure, but are you driving all that way for some cake?"
S- "It's good cake. Besides, we did the math, we'd lose money if we didn't take the cake from Ascension, even with gas"
O- Oh, ok, see you Wednesday.
Maybe it was me, but I thought that it was, you know, my cake. They were reimbursed with a meal of equal value, as per our agreement, and well, it rubbed me the wrong way that I couldn't -give- them cake. they were -taking- it.
Also, never heard a word from them, either thanking me or even just chitchat until now, about a month later.
So, after all that drudgery: Was I wrong to feel slighted? What could I have done? I'm pretty over it now, but I'd like to know how to handle a situation like this in the future.
Thanks for reading!