Author Topic: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?  (Read 18668 times)

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Rosey

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #45 on: May 01, 2010, 11:51:39 PM »
Because she is trying to sell her a wedding dress.  It isn't normal for a bride to want to look bawdy or sleazy on her wedding day.  And if that is what she wants then she should be up front about it so that the salesperson can tell her that they don't have what she is looking for.
  
The point of the LW is mainly to communicate the outrageous reasoning behind what kind of dress this bride was looking for.

The only person who was rude was the one who dished about the groom.

I'm sorry, but I completely disagree. I think my biggest problem is the idea that the salesperson was so sure the shop couldn't possibly have anything she was looking for. The whole idea reeks of "Pretty Woman." I won't even consider the idea that the shop couldn't help the bride because the very idea of a bridal gown calls for fittings, adjustments, and so forth. It is entirely possible to make something more low cut if that is what the bride wants. Also, the letter writer is very open about the fact that she brought the bride "nicer" dresses (I believe that is the word she used).

It is not the salesperson's job to make the bride "normal." It is the salesperson's job to sell her a dress that fits what she wants. Bridal stores frequently only carry a small portion of what they have available. For example, it isn't "normal" to wear a full bridal gown in red, but Maggie Sottero makes them, and a huge percentage of bridal stores carry her gowns.

In Pretty Woman, the salesperson didn't help the bride at all.
 
Are you completely ignoring the fact that the bride and her entourage had the run of the place?  The bride could have tried on any dress she wanted to but she couldn't find one that was low cut enough for her.

The story really isn't about her finding a dress--it's the demented reasoning behind it.

I don't see how it is helpful if the woman insists, as she admitted, on offering dresses that did not fit the bride's requests. I don't see anything in the story about demented reasoning.

And no, I'm not ignoring the fact that they had the run of the place. I am not even suggesting that the bride couldn't find her own dress. I am, as I've said all the way through, saying the salesperson is rude for writing the story with all of her deprecating comments about the bride and her preferences simply because she didn't approve of the dress the bride wanted to find, and I'm saying the salesperson is particularly rude for failing to do her job.

Honestly, I'm surprised you are standing up for her. We wouldn't stand up for a salesperson who refused to help a bride find a strapless gown if the bride was plus-size, even if the salesperson didn't have a plus-size strapless gown in stock. We would still expect her to show the style and help the bride accordingly, right? Yet the salesperson *might* not think that would look good. Doesn't matter. It is still her *job* to assist the bride in finding the gown that meets her preferences.

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #46 on: May 02, 2010, 12:04:18 AM »
Really? The woman should have found her own dress? What on earth is the saleswoman there for then? Why would a place employ a saleswoman if they believe patrons should find their own dresses?
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JoieGirl7

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #47 on: May 02, 2010, 12:08:11 AM »
Because she is trying to sell her a wedding dress.  It isn't normal for a bride to want to look bawdy or sleazy on her wedding day.  And if that is what she wants then she should be up front about it so that the salesperson can tell her that they don't have what she is looking for.
  
The point of the LW is mainly to communicate the outrageous reasoning behind what kind of dress this bride was looking for.

The only person who was rude was the one who dished about the groom.

I'm sorry, but I completely disagree. I think my biggest problem is the idea that the salesperson was so sure the shop couldn't possibly have anything she was looking for. The whole idea reeks of "Pretty Woman." I won't even consider the idea that the shop couldn't help the bride because the very idea of a bridal gown calls for fittings, adjustments, and so forth. It is entirely possible to make something more low cut if that is what the bride wants. Also, the letter writer is very open about the fact that she brought the bride "nicer" dresses (I believe that is the word she used).

It is not the salesperson's job to make the bride "normal." It is the salesperson's job to sell her a dress that fits what she wants. Bridal stores frequently only carry a small portion of what they have available. For example, it isn't "normal" to wear a full bridal gown in red, but Maggie Sottero makes them, and a huge percentage of bridal stores carry her gowns.

In Pretty Woman, the salesperson didn't help the bride at all.
 
Are you completely ignoring the fact that the bride and her entourage had the run of the place?  The bride could have tried on any dress she wanted to but she couldn't find one that was low cut enough for her.

The story really isn't about her finding a dress--it's the demented reasoning behind it.

I don't see how it is helpful if the woman insists, as she admitted, on offering dresses that did not fit the bride's requests. I don't see anything in the story about demented reasoning.

And no, I'm not ignoring the fact that they had the run of the place. I am not even suggesting that the bride couldn't find her own dress. I am, as I've said all the way through, saying the salesperson is rude for writing the story with all of her deprecating comments about the bride and her preferences simply because she didn't approve of the dress the bride wanted to find, and I'm saying the salesperson is particularly rude for failing to do her job.

Honestly, I'm surprised you are standing up for her. We wouldn't stand up for a salesperson who refused to help a bride find a strapless gown if the bride was plus-size, even if the salesperson didn't have a plus-size strapless gown in stock. We would still expect her to show the style and help the bride accordingly, right? Yet the salesperson *might* not think that would look good. Doesn't matter. It is still her *job* to assist the bride in finding the gown that meets her preferences.

I guess now you are ignoring the part where the groom slept with one of the bridesmaids and the bride feels the need to dress seductively enough to keep him from doing it again.
 
That's demented reasoning.
 
You buy a wedding gown so that you feel and look beautiful on your wedding day, not so that you look sleazy enough to keep the attentions of your unfaithful fiancé--that is not normal.
  
The bride says "low cut" so she gives her something "low cut" probably "tasteful" low cut.  But, from the comment that was made it is apparent afterwards that the bride wants "low brow" low cut--and they don't have that.
 
There is just nothing normal about this situation.  Which, after all, was the whole point of the story.

M-theory

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #48 on: May 02, 2010, 12:14:19 AM »
That's demented reasoning.

You might want to avoid being insulting to keep this thread open.
 
You buy a wedding gown so that you feel and look beautiful on your wedding day

That's really not for you to judge. If I want to buy a flower-scented fluorescent yellow gown specifically to attract butterflies on my wedding day, that's my prerogative.

DottyG

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #49 on: May 02, 2010, 12:18:49 AM »
Quote
the bride feels the need to dress seductively enough to keep him from doing it again.

No. The bride's mother said that. Not the bride.  We've already established that the mother is crass.


JoieGirl7

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #50 on: May 02, 2010, 12:25:53 AM »
That's demented reasoning.

You might want to avoid being insulting to keep this thread open.

How is that an insult?  Who am I insulting?
 
 
Quote from: M.  link=topic=77377.msg1825284#msg1825284 date=1272773291

You buy a wedding gown so that you feel and look beautiful on your wedding day

That's really not for you to judge. If I want to buy a flower-scented fluorescent yellow gown specifically to attract butterflies on my wedding day, that's my prerogative.

Attracting butterflies is not at odds with the nature of a wedding.  Trying to accommodate an unfaithful fiancé by dressing slutty is.

And if you want to wear a flower-scented fluorescent yellow gown, then a bridal shop may not be the best place to look for it.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2010, 12:27:53 AM by Audrey Quest »

M-theory

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #51 on: May 02, 2010, 12:37:02 AM »
How is that an insult?  

According to dictionary.com:


de·ment·ed
/dɪˈmɛntɪd/
–adjective
1.
crazy; insane; mad.
2.
affected with dementia.

How is referring to someone's reasoning as crazy not insulting?

Who am I insulting?

It isn't my responsibility to keep track of your posts for you - you can easily go back and take a look if you forget who you directed the insult at.
 

Attracting butterflies is not at odds with the nature of a wedding.  Trying to accommodate an unfaithful fiancé by dressing slutty is.

Again, what makes you the arbiter of what constitutes the nature of a wedding? Even if you did have that authority, how is attracting butterflies any less "off" than dressing "sluttily?" ("Slutty" is an awfully subjective term.) If anything, I'd say they're both fertility rites, which seems to fit in well with a wedding.


MariaE

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #52 on: May 02, 2010, 02:09:32 AM »
The bride says "low cut" so she gives her something "low cut" probably "tasteful" low cut.  But, from the comment that was made it is apparent afterwards that the bride wants "low brow" low cut--and they don't have that.

That's exactly how I read the OP as well. Not that she wouldn't help the B2B, but that she couldn't, because the store offered nothing that fit the B2B's requirements.

As for making comments about them getting divorced... well, not very nice, but definitely not the first time such a comment has been made on a story on the blog. I don't understand why people are so in arms about that. Had she made it to the B2B it would be a completely different kettle of fish, but as it is, it's no worse than what we frequently see both on the blog and on this forum.

 
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MariaE

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #53 on: May 02, 2010, 02:14:14 AM »
How is that an insult?  

According to dictionary.com:


de·ment·ed
/dɪˈmɛntɪd/
–adjective
1.
crazy; insane; mad.
2.
affected with dementia.

How is referring to someone's reasoning as crazy not insulting?

Because sometimes it's correct? If I said I wanted to kill off everybody on the planet, because everybody is selfish at heart, and I might as well take it to extremes (yes, I've known somebody who said this ;) ), most people would definitely call that insane - and they'd be right! Granted, the example in the OP is quite different, but I agree with Audrey that wanting to dress sluttily in order for your H2B's attentions not to stray is pretty crazy. That doesn't mean she doesn't have every right to dress that way, but I have the right to think that it's crazy.

(I know it was the reason the mother gave, not the B2B, but it's the only reason we have, so I'm going to go with that).

Quote
Who am I insulting?

It isn't my responsibility to keep track of your posts for you - you can easily go back and take a look if you forget who you directed the insult at.


She directed the comment towards the B2B and/or her mother... I hardly see how that's an insult and especially not an insult to anybody on the forum.
 
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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #54 on: May 02, 2010, 02:33:16 AM »
Because she is trying to sell her a wedding dress.  It isn't normal for a bride to want to look bawdy or sleazy on her wedding day.  And if that is what she wants then she should be up front about it so that the salesperson can tell her that they don't have what she is looking for.
  
The point of the LW is mainly to communicate the outrageous reasoning behind what kind of dress this bride was looking for.

The only person who was rude was the one who dished about the groom.

I'm sorry, but I completely disagree. I think my biggest problem is the idea that the salesperson was so sure the shop couldn't possibly have anything she was looking for. The whole idea reeks of "Pretty Woman." I won't even consider the idea that the shop couldn't help the bride because the very idea of a bridal gown calls for fittings, adjustments, and so forth. It is entirely possible to make something more low cut if that is what the bride wants. Also, the letter writer is very open about the fact that she brought the bride "nicer" dresses (I believe that is the word she used).

It is not the salesperson's job to make the bride "normal." It is the salesperson's job to sell her a dress that fits what she wants. Bridal stores frequently only carry a small portion of what they have available. For example, it isn't "normal" to wear a full bridal gown in red, but Maggie Sottero makes them, and a huge percentage of bridal stores carry her gowns.

In Pretty Woman, the salesperson didn't help the bride at all.
 
Are you completely ignoring the fact that the bride and her entourage had the run of the place?  The bride could have tried on any dress she wanted to but she couldn't find one that was low cut enough for her.

The story really isn't about her finding a dress--it's the demented reasoning behind it.

I don't see how it is helpful if the woman insists, as she admitted, on offering dresses that did not fit the bride's requests. I don't see anything in the story about demented reasoning.

And no, I'm not ignoring the fact that they had the run of the place. I am not even suggesting that the bride couldn't find her own dress. I am, as I've said all the way through, saying the salesperson is rude for writing the story with all of her deprecating comments about the bride and her preferences simply because she didn't approve of the dress the bride wanted to find, and I'm saying the salesperson is particularly rude for failing to do her job.

Honestly, I'm surprised you are standing up for her. We wouldn't stand up for a salesperson who refused to help a bride find a strapless gown if the bride was plus-size, even if the salesperson didn't have a plus-size strapless gown in stock. We would still expect her to show the style and help the bride accordingly, right? Yet the salesperson *might* not think that would look good. Doesn't matter. It is still her *job* to assist the bride in finding the gown that meets her preferences.

I guess now you are ignoring the part where the groom slept with one of the bridesmaids and the bride feels the need to dress seductively enough to keep him from doing it again.
 
That's demented reasoning.
 
You buy a wedding gown so that you feel and look beautiful on your wedding day, not so that you look sleazy enough to keep the attentions of your unfaithful fiancé--that is not normal.
  
The bride says "low cut" so she gives her something "low cut" probably "tasteful" low cut.  But, from the comment that was made it is apparent afterwards that the bride wants "low brow" low cut--and they don't have that.
 


I think it's a bit judgmental of you to say that a lower-cut dress than the saleswoman and you think appropriate can't make the bride feel beautiful.

And how do we even know that the store's idea of low-cut for plus-sized women even shows cleavage?

And on another topic. Bawdy? Who says bawdy any more?

M-theory

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #55 on: May 02, 2010, 02:40:54 AM »
Because sometimes it's correct? If I said I wanted to kill off everybody on the planet, because everybody is selfish at heart, and I might as well take it to extremes (yes, I've known somebody who said this ;) ), most people would definitely call that insane - and they'd be right! Granted, the example in the OP is quite different, but I agree with Audrey that wanting to dress sluttily in order for your H2B's attentions not to stray is pretty crazy. That doesn't mean she doesn't have every right to dress that way, but I have the right to think that it's crazy.

Yes, there are many true things that are nevertheless impolite. I think we often see examples of that in the horror stories posted to this forum.

She directed the comment towards the B2B and/or her mother... I hardly see how that's an insult and especially not an insult to anybody on the forum.

I don't see how it is helpful if the woman insists, as she admitted, on offering dresses that did not fit the bride's requests. I don't see anything in the story about demented reasoning.

And no, I'm not ignoring the fact that they had the run of the place. I am not even suggesting that the bride couldn't find her own dress. I am, as I've said all the way through, saying the salesperson is rude for writing the story with all of her deprecating comments about the bride and her preferences simply because she didn't approve of the dress the bride wanted to find, and I'm saying the salesperson is particularly rude for failing to do her job.

Honestly, I'm surprised you are standing up for her. We wouldn't stand up for a salesperson who refused to help a bride find a strapless gown if the bride was plus-size, even if the salesperson didn't have a plus-size strapless gown in stock. We would still expect her to show the style and help the bride accordingly, right? Yet the salesperson *might* not think that would look good. Doesn't matter. It is still her *job* to assist the bride in finding the gown that meets her preferences.

I guess now you are ignoring the part where the groom slept with one of the bridesmaids and the bride feels the need to dress seductively enough to keep him from doing it again.
 
That's demented reasoning.

JoieGirl7

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #56 on: May 02, 2010, 03:48:55 AM »
She directed the comment towards the B2B and/or her mother... I hardly see how that's an insult and especially not an insult to anybody on the forum.

I don't see how it is helpful if the woman insists, as she admitted, on offering dresses that did not fit the bride's requests. I don't see anything in the story about demented reasoning.

And no, I'm not ignoring the fact that they had the run of the place. I am not even suggesting that the bride couldn't find her own dress. I am, as I've said all the way through, saying the salesperson is rude for writing the story with all of her deprecating comments about the bride and her preferences simply because she didn't approve of the dress the bride wanted to find, and I'm saying the salesperson is particularly rude for failing to do her job.

Honestly, I'm surprised you are standing up for her. We wouldn't stand up for a salesperson who refused to help a bride find a strapless gown if the bride was plus-size, even if the salesperson didn't have a plus-size strapless gown in stock. We would still expect her to show the style and help the bride accordingly, right? Yet the salesperson *might* not think that would look good. Doesn't matter. It is still her *job* to assist the bride in finding the gown that meets her preferences.

I guess now you are ignoring the part where the groom slept with one of the bridesmaids and the bride feels the need to dress seductively enough to keep him from doing it again.
 
That's demented reasoning.

See how much easier it is when you explain yourself instead of quoting the dictionary?
 
I didn't say that the reasoning of the poster was demented and if you had read the thread in context you would not have missed that.

Here is an earlier comment of mine from 30 minutes before in an exchange with the same poster you imply that I am insulting:
The story really isn't about her finding a dress--it's the demented reasoning behind it.

It isn't my responsibility to keep track of your posts for you - you can easily go back and take a look if you forget who you directed the insult at.
Maybe it is your responsibility to read the entire thread.
 
For the record, it is the reasoning that I characterized as demented, not the MOB, and certainly not Rosey!  ???

M-theory

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #57 on: May 02, 2010, 03:54:13 AM »
See how much easier it is when you explain yourself instead of quoting the dictionary?

Are you sure you're not looking to get the thread closed? That was awfully snarky.

I still read your response as referring to Rosey's reasoning as demented. "You are ignoring...that's demented."


Maybe it is your responsibility to read the entire thread.


I did read the entire thread. Again, you should be careful with the snark if you want to keep the thread open.

Oh, and because I got off-track - you still haven't explained what makes you uniquely qualified to determine for everyone what is and isn't fitting for a wedding.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2010, 03:56:36 AM by M. »

JoieGirl7

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #58 on: May 02, 2010, 04:05:34 AM »

I still read your response as referring to Rosey's reasoning as demented. "You are ignoring...that's demented."


Really?  Even after being provided context and a statement to the contrary?
 
You still think that I intended to call Rosey's reasoning demented?
 
If that's so, I'm afraid I can't help you further.

missmolly

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Re: Bridezilla: Was the salesperson at fault?
« Reply #59 on: May 02, 2010, 05:05:40 AM »
I think what the mother said, the groom's apparent philandering, etc are all moot.

What occurred here was that the bride made a request. Rather than honour that request or tell her that she isn't able to provide a dress to the bride's specifications, she tried to steer her away from her preference, to the point where the bride and her family got extremely frustrated.

It shouldn't matter whether the bride looks 'normal' or not. If that's how she wanted to look, she should be allowed to look that way. If the salesperson wasn't comfortable with selling what the bride was asking her for, then she shouldn't have wasted her's and the bride's time.
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