They did their typical browsing and perusing, and I was very surprised the bride was having a lot of trouble finding what she wanted, since a lot of the dresses were quite lovely on her--ample figure and all. She kept pointing to dresses and asking if I had anything "lower cut" that "showed a lot of cleavage", which rather surprised me...most brides her size are trying to tug the things up to retain some sense of modesty.
The first thing that stands out to me is that the LW thinks that large brides should not wear low-cut gowns and show lots of cleavage. Which is fine as a matter of taste, but is quite rude to attempt to enforce on another person...which is what she does in her next sentence.
But, right her, she basically says that, because the bride is 'ample' and wants to 'show a lot of cleavage' she must not want to 'retain some sense of modesty.' I note that she isn't saying that no one should wear a low-cut sexy gown, bur rather that someone who is "ample"
can't want wear a sexy gown without being immodest. So-she was judgemental right off the bat here.
Finally, she got very frustrated that I was trying to politely choose things for her that were very lovely and feminine without being bawdy, which was obviously what she was craving.
I get frustrated when people insist on trying to choose things for me that I don't want as well. We already know from the prelude to the story that the bride wanted something very low-cut and sexy (which LW feels is tacky on big women) and the LW insisted on bringing out things that would not meet the stated criteria. LW felt that her taste trumped the bride's wishes, and that is all kinds of rude, IMO.
In addition, she was deliberately ignoring the bride's requests. She wasn't bringing out a few options and saying something like, "This is in line with what you asked for; however, I also think you should try on this style as I think it will suit you wonderfully." Nor was she saying, "Here is a lovely gown that isn't quite what you are looking for, but we can modify it here and here to really make it suit your tastes." Nor did she even say, "I'm afraid we don't carry anything with more cleavage than this, so I am afraid we can't help you today, but I wish you the best of luck and I hope you will keep us in mind if you decide one of the gowns here will work for you." Nope, she basically brought out gowns that weren't what the bride wanted because she didn't like the idea of a big bawdy bride. LW was extremely rude, and I would have been frustrated too.
When I go into a motorcycle shop and am looking for a sport-touring bike (big, fast, definitely not a beginner bike, and exactly what I like to ride), I am going to get frustrated and eventually snap if the salesperson insists on showing me cruisers (low, nowhere near as fast, handle entirely differently, and not at all to my taste-even though they are pretty) because he doesn't think that a big gal should ride 'that kind' of bike. It is exactly the same kind of rudeness that LW displayed when she chose gowns, deliberately, that were not what the bride told her she wanted.
Her mother, too, was getting frustrated and started roving through the racks. "Don't you have anything that shows a lot of cleavage? She needs to keep her husband's attention up there!! Last thing she needs is him %&*$#!#^ another one of the bridesmaids!"
I can see why mom was getting frustrated. It doesn't excuse the comment, though. Mom was pretty rude and crass to make the comment in front of the saleswoman, even if it is the kind of joke that they have in-family. If it was serious, then it was horrible to make the comment in front of the saleswoman, and it was quite rude to the bride, the groom and the bridesmaids. No question on that part.
I will say that this is the kind of joke that my sister or my BFF and I could make with one another with no offense given or taken (yes-we can be quite crude with one another); however, I would never bring that out in front of another person, as it is not the sort of thing that I would accept from anyone else in my family or my circle of friends.
I was VERY glad they didn't find what it was they were looking for there. Perhaps a lingerie store? Sometimes I wonder if their time would have been better spent going ahead and picking up the divorce papers!
And here the LW lays out her own crude comments, which are fully as mean and nasty as anything the mother said.