Author Topic: Just used it! But could use advice on the entire situation.  (Read 3407 times)

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flowersintheattic

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Okay, so here's the deal. Two friends (A and M) and I went to a bar this evening- a cheap little hole-in-the-wall. We noticed a girl that was crying at a table of a few other girls, but pretty much ignored it, until the crying girl came and sat with us. We had been discussing M's bad luck with guys, and the woman (we'll call her C) joined right in the conversation. She was clearly intoxicated, but sat next to me and for about ten minutes talked about how bad men are while we just grew uncomfortable and kind of agreed half-heartedly. After that ten minutes, she told me she needed a beer. I just said "Okay...." And then she asked me to get her a beer. I said "I can't do that," and then essentially started a conversation with M. C got up and moved over next to A and began to talk to her. A texted me "what should we do?" and I responded "I don't know, but don't buy her a beer," but she didn't get it in time- she was already heading to the bar. A minute later, she sat down again and told C the bartender wouldn't serve her and was going to kick her (C) out. At this point, I finished my beer and left (I'm the only one in the group currently working, so I have to be up in the morning).

About five minutes ago, though, I got a phone call from another friend who was going to meet up with us, E. She arrived at the bar to the girl talking to A and crying while M was acting as guardian (apparently, C said she had been beaten up by her boyfriend, which I don't doubt given the way she had been behaving, but I have no idea what M was going to do about it). I told E that all tihey could really do at this point is ignore her (she wasn't really our problem) or call the police (who could get her home and get a report of any domestic incident), and that she should convince them to do one of them. I haven't heard back on what it was.

So (other than thanking EHell for allowing me to not feel guilty for saying no!), I wanted to know what the proper response would be in this situation? Was there something we could have done to get rid of her before she asked for the beer? What should A, M, and E do now? (I should find out what happened tomorrow, so I'll post an update then.)
...I learned my lesson / And yes, I still remember the last one / But this time will be different / Until I do it again... ~Phish, "Kill Devil Falls"

Jocelyn

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Re: Just used it! But could use advice on the entire situation.
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2010, 08:39:18 PM »
I'd say they should ask the bartender for help. Say that this is not a friend of theirs, but a random stranger they'd been being kind to, and now the bartender needed to do whatever s/he would normally do in this situation. I'll bet the bar has rules about what the staff is to do when people get too drunk to take care of themselves.

Giggity

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Re: Just used it! But could use advice on the entire situation.
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2010, 08:40:46 PM »
Echo to Jocelyn. Bar staff specialize in dealing with all varieties of drunks.
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flowersintheattic

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Re: Just used it! But could use advice on the entire situation.
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2010, 12:52:44 PM »
The bartender would have thrown her out- she had already said that, and that's why we didn't go to her sooner. (Our assumption was that if she got thrown out, she would have just been wandering around drunk outside.)

An update, though- M tried to call the YWCA to get her a room, but they were closed and the woman got belligerent. She did end up getting thrown out, so it wouldn't have made much difference if we had gone to the bartender in the end.
...I learned my lesson / And yes, I still remember the last one / But this time will be different / Until I do it again... ~Phish, "Kill Devil Falls"

TootsNYC

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Re: Just used it! But could use advice on the entire situation.
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2010, 01:05:28 PM »
honestly, sometimes it's not your responsibility to rescue people from the bad effects of their stupid behavior.

You did the right thing, and your friends should simply have left the bar, and left her behind.

If they really wanted to stay, they could have said, "Listen, we want to talk, just us. Please go sit with someone else."