I think it was rather kind for your boss to immediately offer to take you out to lunch when she realized what day it was. That speaks more of someone that didn't realize that the holiday had arrived, rather than someone who had no intention of celebrating you.
Me too. This seems like something I might do as your boss. I'd be so embarrassed about 'forgetting' your special day that my automatic reaction would be "Make it up to her, make it up to her, make it up to her ...!"
Yes and no. You had to know her personality. She was more the type who really didn't have any intention of doing anything but was sort of "shamed" into it, shall we say? She wasn't the easiest person to work for, by a long shot, quite entitled, and picky and fussy.
And while it was nice she offered and we did go out to lunch, it seemed to be more of an afterthought as in well, I guess I must do something for her, than "oh shoot i feel horrible i totally forgot"