I posted this on the Gross Out thread, but I think it belongs here, too, as a public service message.
I was kneeling on my flat-top stove, reaching for something at the back of the top shelf, when the top shattered underneath my knee, gashing it down to the joint capsule. I was lucky it stopped there. I was also lucky that no shards entered the 1-1/2 inch long, 1/4 inch deep gash. More luck because no bones were broken, cracked, or injured. The ER doc was surprised that I had so much tissue damage and no structural damage. Just lucky!
I grabbed a handful of paper towels and put pressure on the gash while calling my DH saying "We're going to the ER. I need stitches. I don't need an ambulance. Call the security guard (we have lived in this high rise with 24/7 security for 24 years). Put the meat back in the frig." He made me call the security guard because he didn't understand why I wanted them. Well, DH is disabled and I needed help getting to the car.
I love our security guards. One came up to help me to the elevator. Once in the lobby, the other guard, Big D, told my husband to bring the car around to the front so I wouldn't have to negotiate the stairs down to our parking. Then he grabbed his office chair, on rollers, in lieu of a wheelchair. Big D grabbed a roll of gauze and did a perfect job of pressure wrapping it. Just enough pressure to stop the bleeding without interfering with circulation. The ER doc was impressed. When he removed the gauze & paper towels, he could see the bone clearly because it wasn't bleeding.
They had to take x-rays to make sure I didn't have shards in the wound. They asked, "Did you fall?" So I told them the whole sordid, stupid story. The x-ray lady made me feel better when she said, "I'm going to stop doing that." I guess I'm not the only one who thinks of that flat cooktop as just another counter.