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  • August 27, 2016, 01:36:14 AM

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Author Topic: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?  (Read 2524 times)

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Team HoundMom

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #15 on: June 03, 2016, 11:42:03 AM »
Not heard, but a meme, a picture of George Washington crossing the Delaware, with the caption "Whoever is humming the Jaws theme is going to get slapped" I laugh my backside off every time I see it. I think its partially because of his very serious expression.

Google "George Washington Memes" or something, there are a whole bunch of them and they're hilarious. One is about Martha putting a Fruit Roll-Up in his lunch and he's like "Aw yiss."

Nikko-chan

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2016, 11:44:28 AM »
Thanks samihami now I am dying of laughter!

Gladly

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2016, 04:13:02 AM »
DH and I were camping at a 2 day event a few years ago.  It was the first time DH had slept in a tent for many years.  We were settling into bed and...

DH:  I can't get in.
Me: What?
DH: I can't get in properly!
Me: Oh.  Is that better?
DH:  No... Oh do that again.
Me: What? This?
DH: Yes! That's it. I'm in!  That feels soo much better!

Pause, while we realise that this conversation can probably be heard in several tents nearby, then both of us dissolve into giggles.

DH's problem was that he hadn't unzipped his sleeping bag far enough to allow him to get into it properly! And, no, our friends in neighbouring tents didn't entirely believe us...!
 

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #18 on: July 06, 2016, 09:31:09 AM »
I'll preface this by saying that my inner 12 year old is the one that finds this hysterical.

There's a certain NSFW (or EHell!) meme that I will always laugh at... it's the queen from Snow White referencing a Lonely Island song. If you don't know it, don't mind crude language, and are curious... google "evil queen box meme". Her expression sells the meme.
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Tini

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #19 on: July 06, 2016, 10:48:49 AM »
I'll preface this by saying that my inner 12 year old is the one that finds this hysterical.

There's a certain NSFW (or EHell!) meme that I will always laugh at... it's the queen from Snow White referencing a Lonely Island song. If you don't know it, don't mind crude language, and are curious... google "evil queen box meme". Her expression sells the meme.

That song had me crying laughing. So funny, such a beautiful parody.

blueyzca01

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2016, 04:44:04 PM »
I was walking through Target one afternoon, and I heard the following discussion between a man and his teen-aged son:

Dad: “I don’t see it, do you see something that looks like it?”
Son: “Nope, I haven’t seen anything similar in any of these aisles.”
Dad: “I think we’re going to have to give in and go over to Bed, Bath and Bucks.” 

I burst out laughing right in front of him, because I’ve always heard people complain about their prices, but no one has put it so succinctly.

 
No one ever says, "Why me?!?!" when something good happens.

Esther_bunny

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #21 on: July 14, 2016, 09:01:52 AM »
I was walking through Target one afternoon, and I heard the following discussion between a man and his teen-aged son:

Dad: “I don’t see it, do you see something that looks like it?”
Son: “Nope, I haven’t seen anything similar in any of these aisles.”
Dad: “I think we’re going to have to give in and go over to Bed, Bath and Bucks.” 

I burst out laughing right in front of him, because I’ve always heard people complain about their prices, but no one has put it so succinctly.


We call it "Bed, Bath, and Beyond my budget".

White Dragon

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Q
« Reply #22 on: July 14, 2016, 11:26:18 AM »
Last night my friends told this story on themselves.

Mom really wanted to buy the kids a trampoline.
Dad was vehemently against it, maintaining they were too dangerous.

Meanwhile, Dad's job required him to do a lot of driving and he was prone to picking up hitchhikers when he did so. (It was a relatively rural area, so maybe it could be considered less risky? Not sure.)
Mom was vehemently against this, feeling it was too dangerous.

Mom finally put her foot down. If he could decide that some risks were okay, then so could she.
So - one more hitchhiker and she'd just go ahead and get the trampoline.

A few days later, mom and kids were at Pasta Club. Kind of a swanky group and one the mom wanted to make sure to mind her Ps and Qs around.

Until Daughter gleefully announced "Mom says that if dad picks up one more H...er [lady of the evening], we get a trampoline!"

Cue mom blurting out "Hitchhiker! I said Hitchhiker!!!!"
"I think her scattergun was only loaded with commas and full-stops, although some of them cuddled together for warmth and produced little baby colons and semi-colons." ~ Margo


NestHolder

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #23 on: July 15, 2016, 04:43:13 AM »
I have watched it many times, and I *always* cry with laughter.

https://thehairpin.com/man-cannot-remove-his-tiny-hat-5200989e6742#.5n9ycxr7i

Mustard

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #24 on: July 15, 2016, 06:29:19 AM »
I have watched it many times, and I *always* cry with laughter.

https://thehairpin.com/man-cannot-remove-his-tiny-hat-5200989e6742#.5n9ycxr7i

That is hysterical!  Thanks for sharing it.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: What is the funniest thing you've ever heard?
« Reply #25 on: August 17, 2016, 10:03:02 AM »
My coworker has quit smoking - for 51 hours.  Another coworker came to ask her to go out for a smoke, not knowing she'd quit.  And then said, 'I guess I shouldn't ask you for a lighter.'  She told him to take hers; she wouldn't need it back.  Said with much confidence.

And he said, 'You don't need it back to burn this place down?'

'Oh, I have other lighters for that,' she said. 

I laughed.  Out loud.  Very loudly.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario