Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

[Kimblee]

I used to "help" my uncle babysit his girlfriend's kids. (AKA I babysat and got free reign for his fridge and movie collection, he slept, and when Girlfriend came home the whole lot of us, kids included, went to a nice dinner and I got driven home.) It was awesome other than one of the boys was seven and threw tantrums like a toddler.

He'd throw himself on the floor in front of the couch and wail about telling his mama what a mean girl I am so I propped my feet on his back and told him the tv could drown him out any day, and when he was done screaming he could have some of my chili candy. Usually that worked pretty well.

Until his mom came home and caught me at it, asked what i was doing and I, sure i was about to lose my cushy gig, admitted to the whole thing, including the candy bribe. She laughed at him and told me next time I should take pictures.

He never threw another fit with me.

[Thipu1]

The persistent 'How are you?' thread made me remember this.

We had a frequent visitor to the library.  He was pleasant enough but everyone soon learned not to say, 'How are you?' because the result would be an organ recital. 
Once, I made a mistake and asked the question.  He thought for a moment and answered, 'You know, today I'm pretty decent.'

I really had to bite my tongue not to laugh at that one. 

[violinp]

I used to "help" my uncle babysit his girlfriend's kids. (AKA I babysat and got free reign for his fridge and movie collection, he slept, and when Girlfriend came home the whole lot of us, kids included, went to a nice dinner and I got driven home.) It was awesome other than one of the boys was seven and threw tantrums like a toddler.

He'd throw himself on the floor in front of the couch and wail about telling his mama what a mean girl I am so I propped my feet on his back and told him the tv could drown him out any day, and when he was done screaming he could have some of my chili candy. Usually that worked pretty well.

Until his mom came home and caught me at it, asked what i was doing and I, sure i was about to lose my cushy gig, admitted to the whole thing, including the candy bribe. She laughed at him and told me next time I should take pictures.

He never threw another fit with me.

That's priceless!

[Piratelvr1121]

Yikes!  I'm glad your friend and her house are unharmed.  Really makes you think about "Be careful what you wish for..."

Yeah no kidding!  It sure does make me feel grateful that we live in an area where we're unlikely to be affected by hurricanes or earthquakes and while we have seen a few funnel clouds, no tornadoes have touched down since we've lived here...*knock on wood*...

This is from way back, I am still reading the whole thread- but I think it actually fits the catagory- Piratelvr, I am pretty sure you are in MD too, and within a month or so after you posted this the Baltimore area got hit with- An earthquake (august 23rd) and a hurricane (august 28th). Not sure if it is witchcraft, or again, be careful what you wish for, but I sure laughed at your post in hindsight.

Oh I know it!!  LOL!  Not that it was a huge earthquake, but we definitely felt it and it's funny, I lived in CA for 4 years and didn't feel a single earthquake, and I finally feel one in MD!  Then there was that hurricane the weekend before we were planning to go camping on Assateague Island.  Thankfully OC and Assateague were mostly untouched as far as damage goes from Irene!

[lilfox]

Watching a potty-training video with your small child (which she then wanted to watch repeatedly).  Sample dialogue:

"You have a head for thinking,
eyes for looking,
ears for listening,
hands for holding,
a pee-pee for making wee-wee,
<continuing in that vein>"

Yeah, it may not help my child's success if I always snort every time they mention the bolded line.

Not to mention that the animated story is very cutesy and upbeat, as one might imagine something designed for babies and toddlers to be.  But we clicked on the "Parents' Guide" segment and it's this very stern-looking doctor with a down-beat voice sitting on a desk and lecturing about potty-training techniques.  We only listened for about a minute, but it was such a weird follow-up to the cartoony bit.

[Midnight Kitty]

"You have a head for thinking,
eyes for looking,
ears for listening,
hands for holding,
a pee-pee for making wee-wee,
<continuing in that vein>"

In Hawaii, we say "making shi-shi," rhymes with "wee-wee."

[Shea]

Yesterday, BF decided he needed some new t-shirts, so we went off to find some. We found a store that had very reasonably priced shirts in a rainbow of different colors. It should be noted here that BF is spectacularly color-blind. He can't distinguish red and green and can't see most shades of blue. Thus, choosing between the shirts (there were two shades of red, three of green and three of blue, among several other colors) got interesting.

BF: ::pulling a shirt off the rack:: How about this?
Me: That's a nice color.
BF: ::scrutinizing shirt:: It's...green, right?
Me: Yep.
BF: ::pulling another shirt off the rack:: How about this one?
Me: That's the same as the first one.
BF: Oh. ::takes another one:: I look good in blue, right?
Me: You do, but that one is dark green.
BF: Huh. ::takes another:: How about this?
Me: That's red.
BF: [expletive redacted] Just pick a couple out, will ya?

I was trying hard not to laugh, but it was getting to be like Who's on First? To be fair, he thought it was pretty funny too.

[Ferrets]

Watching a potty-training video with your small child (which she then wanted to watch repeatedly).

[...]

Not to mention that the animated story is very cutesy and upbeat, as one might imagine something designed for babies and toddlers to be.  But we clicked on the "Parents' Guide" segment and it's this very stern-looking doctor with a down-beat voice sitting on a desk and lecturing about potty-training techniques.  We only listened for about a minute, but it was such a weird follow-up to the cartoony bit.

:grin: That made me think of a Family Guy quote (which also qualifies rather neatly for this thread in itself):

Peter: "Yeah, ah...I'm looking for toilet training books?"

Salesman: "Oh, yes, we can help you there. Ah, Everybody Poops is still the standard, of course. We've also got the less popular Nobody Poops But You."

Peter: "Well, see, we're Catholic, so, ah..."

Salesman: "Oh, then you'll want You're A Naughty Child And That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out The Back Of You."

Peter: "Perfect!"

[Piratelvr1121]

So Piratebabe has started flipping himself onto his belly, only sometimes he does it in such a way that he can't flip himself back over.   One day I put him down in the crib for a nap and heard him wailing not 5 minutes later.  Knowing he was tired and needed neither a feeding nor a nappy change, I went back up and found him for the first time on his belly. 

Here's the part that I shouldn't have laughed at but I did.  He had his head up, arms by his side and legs bent, and archin his back.  Poor kid is looking like a beached seal while wailing with frustration that he can't flip himself back over and here I'm trying not to laugh at the poor darling.

I did flip him back over though, patted his belly and gave him his binkie. He fell asleep quickly and I had to go and tell DH. Who also laughed.

[violinp]

So Piratebabe has started flipping himself onto his belly, only sometimes he does it in such a way that he can't flip himself back over.   One day I put him down in the crib for a nap and heard him wailing not 5 minutes later.  Knowing he was tired and needed neither a feeding nor a nappy change, I went back up and found him for the first time on his belly. 

Here's the part that I shouldn't have laughed at but I did.  He had his head up, arms by his side and legs bent, and archin his back.  Poor kid is looking like a beached seal while wailing with frustration that he can't flip himself back over and here I'm trying not to laugh at the poor darling.

I did flip him back over though, patted his belly and gave him his binkie. He fell asleep quickly and I had to go and tell DH. Who also laughed.

Hahahaha awwww!

[hermanne]

Awwwwe... I want to hug Piratebabe! (while trying not to laugh too loud. )

***
This past Easter we were visiting family out of state, and we went to a shipwreck museum with the kids. The centerpiece exhibit was a life-size recreation of the back third/fourth of a typical schooner that sailed the Great Lakes over a hundred years ago. Part of the exhibit was a thunderstorm, with sounds and "lightning". Standing in the cabin or on deck, you could almost swear the ship was rocking under you.

DD (5 years old) and I were down below, exploring the cabin. We then went up the stairs to the deck, DD in front of me. As soon as she reached the top, there was a big flash of lightning.

DD promptly turned around and ran back down the stairs. I had a time convincing her it was okay and to come back up while not laughing. The fact that we were inside and it wasn't a real storm just made it all the more amusing to me.

[afbluebelle]

A member of my squadron recently passed away (Recently Deceased). His Facebook page has become kind of a memorial wall... people are posting stories, saying goodbye, so on and so forth.

Luke Skywalker (a young airmen) makes a post. Luke writes how much of a good guy RD was, how he was a good supervisor, the usual. Luke includes in there that RD would "give advice, bring in snacks, and occasionally tell him to shut the :explicative deleted: up"

Right under Luke's post, someone commented this: "Luke, EVERYONE tells you to "shut the :ed: up"


I chuckled... RD would have too, so I don't feel too badly.

[guihong]

A headline in today's paper: "Dick Clark REMAINS CREMATED" 

I know what they meant, but Diety help me, I laughed out loud.

[GreenEyedHawk]

A headline in today's paper: "Dick Clark REMAINS CREMATED" 

I know what they meant, but Diety help me, I laughed out loud.

LOL  Thank goodness.  Don't want him coming back as a zombie.

[Mental Magpie]

A headline in today's paper: "Dick Clark REMAINS CREMATED" 

I know what they meant, but Diety help me, I laughed out loud.

LOL  Thank goodness.  Don't want him coming back as a zombie.

I laughed out loud, too, even make Dark Boyfriend look and he grinned.

No, no Dick Clark zombies.