A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Humor Me!

Things that you just should NOT laugh at.

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wonderfullyanonymous:
Our pregnant cashier needed me to run and grab a gallon of milk for a customer. She explained to me, that the original gallon was leaking, but she wasn't going to give me that one because she didn't want me to milk her. Oddly enough, a few weeks ago, I spilled milk on her, which we laughed about, and said I milked her.

Now, considerably more pregnant that she was then, I dryly remarked, if I was going to milk her, I wouldn't do it that way. Took her a brief second to realize what I had said, and she started laughing.

Onyx_TKD:
Background: I was reading an online discussion about someone who had refused to perform CPR on a person suffering cardiac arrest, which led to a discussion of when one should not start CPR, e.g., when there is a DNR order, etc. One poster provided a link to an article called "7 Signs That Say 'Do Not Resuscitate'" (Warning to anyone inclined to search for it: article includes a photo of a dead body).

One of the 7 signs not to resuscitate the patient was decapitation. As the article put it:

--- Quote ---Over the course of human history, patients suffering from decapitation have demonstrated a 100% mortality rate.
--- End quote ---
No, really? :P

Thipu1:

--- Quote from: Tashigi on February 18, 2013, 03:13:32 AM ---On the mild side...

My landlady likes to read out odd articles from the newspaper every so often because we both share a somewhat twisted sense of humor.

Today -
LL: Well! This is a sign that they plan out their articles and layout early.
Me: Why?
LL: In the Travel section, they have a big front page article on cruise ship deals and upgrades.

In light of the Carnival cruiseship fiasco only being resolved today... I really have to wonder if
someone at that office actually thought this edition through!

--- End quote ---

If it's the New York Times, they do plan well in advance.  The Sunday travel section is delivered with
Saturday's paper and was probably put together before the Carnival horror.

   

We also noticed the unfortunate coincidence.

wonderfullyanonymous:

--- Quote from: Onyx_TKD on March 05, 2013, 03:44:54 AM ---

One of the 7 signs not to resuscitate the patient was decapitation. As the article put it:

--- Quote ---Over the course of human history, patients suffering from decapitation have demonstrated a 100% mortality rate.
--- End quote ---

No, really? :P


--- End quote ---

Sadly, that had to be put in there, because someone tried to resuscitate a decapitated person.  Now, I'm giggling...

"Come on dude, I put your head back, you gotta breathe. You can do it, just breathe."

Onyx_TKD:

--- Quote from: wonderfullyanonymous on March 05, 2013, 08:42:46 PM ---
--- Quote from: Onyx_TKD on March 05, 2013, 03:44:54 AM ---

One of the 7 signs not to resuscitate the patient was decapitation. As the article put it:

--- Quote ---Over the course of human history, patients suffering from decapitation have demonstrated a 100% mortality rate.
--- End quote ---

No, really? :P


--- End quote ---

Sadly, that had to be put in there, because someone tried to resuscitate a decapitated person.  Now, I'm giggling...

"Come on dude, I put your head back, you gotta breathe. You can do it, just breathe."

--- End quote ---

Well, the list basically was written as a guide for making (and rationally backing up) a key decision in a time-sensitive, stressful situation, so mentioning even some of the blatantly obvious reasons does make sense. Even when the reason is the patient's head not being attached or "removal of a vital bodily organ" (yes, that was also on the list  :P). It's not really the concept of the sentence that makes me giggle as much as the wording.

If the person's head has been removed, I would say they had been decapitated. Or that they died of decapitation. Or maybe that they suffered decapitation. But "suffering from decapitation" (present tense) just isn't a wording that ever occurred to me. And then to be assured that this condition has a 100% mortality rate "over the course of human history"...Well, it's good to know. Otherwise I would have thought the modern doctors were holding out on us--the ancient Greeks could just pop peoples' heads back on and send them on their way with no ill effects, right?  ;D

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