Author Topic: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.  (Read 313338 times)

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perpetua

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1800 on: December 17, 2013, 12:00:59 PM »
My brother wanted to be an airport.

Cousins of my mom, they were about 5 and 3 when they were asked what they wanted to be when they grew up. 5YO said she wanted to be a babysitter. 3YO said she wanted to be diarrhea.

My uncle wanted to be a table.

Never ever have I actually burst out laughing at something on a forum. Until now. That is genius.

exitzero

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1801 on: December 17, 2013, 12:26:35 PM »
A man who used to work in our office has been gravelly ill. He is in hospice care and not expected to live very long.

Last night at the end of a business, a coworder who has been in touch with his family told us he had passed away.

We were all very sad to hear this, but relieved that his suffering was over.

A few minutes later, coworker comes rushing in to tell us that someone had made a mistake, and he was still alive.

Naturally, Monty Python started running through me head. "He's not dead YET".

I am an awful person.

ladyknight1

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1802 on: December 17, 2013, 12:55:24 PM »
So am I.

emwithme

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1803 on: December 17, 2013, 12:56:45 PM »
Oh good, there's three of us.   >:D

cwm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1804 on: December 17, 2013, 01:06:16 PM »
Four and counting.

Onyx_TKD

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1805 on: December 17, 2013, 01:28:36 PM »
I was reading through an eHell thread on a TV show, and a poster was commenting on a character who had "scarified" himself for the others. I was sitting there quite puzzled, thinking "Well, he did stab himself, which might technically qualify, but that's a very strange way to describe stabbing..." when it finally dawned on me that it was a typo for "sacrificed".  ;D It's amazing what different images a typo can conjure up when it happens to form a real word.

Thipu1

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1806 on: December 17, 2013, 02:25:24 PM »
Oh good, there's three of us.   >:D

Make it four. 

A friend survived both cancer and an aneurism near his brain.  He bought himself an 'I'm not dead yet!' shirt and wore it often. 

mathchick

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1807 on: December 17, 2013, 09:00:53 PM »

I was once told a story about a little girl who was convinced that when she grew up she'd turn into a boy.  She was quite looking forward to it.

When she was at the age where she was interested in the subject, but not yet proficient, my daughter explained toilet training to me.  She told me that someday, she would always pee or poop in the potty.  When she did that, she would be toilet trained.  Then, she would get a penis.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1808 on: December 17, 2013, 11:08:31 PM »

I was once told a story about a little girl who was convinced that when she grew up she'd turn into a boy.  She was quite looking forward to it.

When she was at the age where she was interested in the subject, but not yet proficient, my daughter explained toilet training to me.  She told me that someday, she would always pee or poop in the potty.  When she did that, she would be toilet trained.  Then, she would get a penis.

You gotta love child logic.

mmswm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1809 on: December 18, 2013, 12:18:18 AM »
Slightly different child logic:  When my brother was about 3 he proudly announced that he knew the difference between girls and boys.  When questioned, he pointed to his private parts and said "Boys have a choo-cho train and girls have a tunnel!".  He was really into trains and actually had no clue about girl parts other than the name of the appropriate part and that it was different than boy parts.  He couldn't understand why all the adults dove out of the room trying to withhold hysterical laughter.

*Note: this little brother is only 11 now, so it wasn't very long ago.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

twoferrets

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1810 on: December 18, 2013, 10:19:00 AM »
My best friend was helping her daughter's kindergarten class with a project; each child had to do a little autobiography and say what they'd like to be when they grew up.

One little girl quite seriously stated she wanted to be a Chinese pickle.

cwm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1811 on: December 18, 2013, 11:26:33 AM »
One of mom's cousins had quintuplets. Two boys, three girls. When it came time for potty training, it was all at once, no separating boys from girls. So one of the girls constantly sat down on the potty with her hands between her legs. When we asked what she was doing, she told us that mommy said that her brothers had to hold their penises so that's what she was doing. She was so proud that she remembered that bit. The boys, you see, were always forgetting.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1812 on: December 18, 2013, 04:54:27 PM »
I heard a Russian who barely speaks English trying to communicate with a Mexican who barely speaks English.  The Russian was trying to use which few Spanish words he knew; I will never forget hearing a Russian trying to say "Que paso?"
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1813 on: December 19, 2013, 08:53:59 AM »
Oh good, there's three of us.   >:D

Make it four. 

A friend survived both cancer and an aneurism near his brain.  He bought himself an 'I'm not dead yet!' shirt and wore it often.

Five, and he thinks he'll go for a walk...or maybe...just...sing!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Melle

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1814 on: December 20, 2013, 06:33:35 AM »

I was once told a story about a little girl who was convinced that when she grew up she'd turn into a boy.  She was quite looking forward to it.

When she was at the age where she was interested in the subject, but not yet proficient, my daughter explained toilet training to me.  She told me that someday, she would always pee or poop in the potty.  When she did that, she would be toilet trained.  Then, she would get a penis.

You gotta love child logic.

Well, it is quite logical if you think about it, kind of an evolutionary theme:

You start out peeing in your diaper while lying down.
Then you pee squatting very close to the floor in your baby potty.
Then you sit up on the grown-up toilet.

It's only consistent to expect being able to pee standing up after that development ;)