Author Topic: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.  (Read 312680 times)

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White Dragon

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1830 on: December 30, 2013, 11:15:29 PM »
How do you get a drunk mastiff into the car to GO to the vet?  :o

That sounds like the opening line to a bad joke

"A drunken mastiff and a zen bulldog walk into the vet's..."

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1831 on: December 31, 2013, 10:05:58 AM »
Oh, goodness!  I'm dying from laughter here. 

Gramma Dishes, yeah, he'd probably scoff at any attempts to deter him. 

Pirate, he's a great dog.  When he's not being all kinds of trouble. 

Elfmama, I'm hoping if it ever comes to that, his love of going bye bye will come in handy.  Dumb dog gets into the car every time the door opens.  Sometimes he even lets you get out of the car first if the door is opening because you've just arrived home.

My Rottie/mastiff mix once slipped out the front door past a guest. The other guest, still by the car, opened the door and shouted "Wanna go for a ride?"

SMART guest!
Current fosters: Boojum (F, adult); Zuul (F); Magpie (M); Balrog (M); Nazgul (F)

Nikko-chan

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1832 on: December 31, 2013, 10:47:14 AM »
Oh, goodness!  I'm dying from laughter here. 

Gramma Dishes, yeah, he'd probably scoff at any attempts to deter him. 

Pirate, he's a great dog.  When he's not being all kinds of trouble. 

Elfmama, I'm hoping if it ever comes to that, his love of going bye bye will come in handy.  Dumb dog gets into the car every time the door opens.  Sometimes he even lets you get out of the car first if the door is opening because you've just arrived home.

My Rottie/mastiff mix once slipped out the front door past a guest. The other guest, still by the car, opened the door and shouted "Wanna go for a ride?"

SMART guest!

Oh now that is awesome.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1833 on: December 31, 2013, 11:10:04 AM »
Very clever!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Snooks

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1834 on: December 31, 2013, 11:19:47 AM »
How do you get a drunk mastiff into the car to GO to the vet?  :o

Given his love of cars I think you just need to make sure he's not driving himself to the vet under the influence.

mmswm

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1835 on: December 31, 2013, 11:27:35 AM »
Snooks, thankfully he hasn't figured out the clutch yet.

Ms_Cellany, that's awesome! Very smart guest indeed.

Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Dr. F.

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1836 on: December 31, 2013, 03:57:24 PM »
Oh, goodness!  I'm dying from laughter here. 

Gramma Dishes, yeah, he'd probably scoff at any attempts to deter him. 

Pirate, he's a great dog.  When he's not being all kinds of trouble. 

Elfmama, I'm hoping if it ever comes to that, his love of going bye bye will come in handy.  Dumb dog gets into the car every time the door opens.  Sometimes he even lets you get out of the car first if the door is opening because you've just arrived home.

My Rottie/mastiff mix once slipped out the front door past a guest. The other guest, still by the car, opened the door and shouted "Wanna go for a ride?"

SMART guest!

Oh now that is awesome.

I hope the guest took the dog for a brief spin. I make sure I do that every time I have to use that trick to get my escape-artist girl, just so it continues to work.

greencat

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1837 on: December 31, 2013, 05:36:28 PM »
Oh, goodness!  I'm dying from laughter here. 

Gramma Dishes, yeah, he'd probably scoff at any attempts to deter him. 

Pirate, he's a great dog.  When he's not being all kinds of trouble. 

Elfmama, I'm hoping if it ever comes to that, his love of going bye bye will come in handy.  Dumb dog gets into the car every time the door opens.  Sometimes he even lets you get out of the car first if the door is opening because you've just arrived home.

My Rottie/mastiff mix once slipped out the front door past a guest. The other guest, still by the car, opened the door and shouted "Wanna go for a ride?"

SMART guest!

Oh now that is awesome.

I hope the guest took the dog for a brief spin. I make sure I do that every time I have to use that trick to get my escape-artist girl, just so it continues to work.

When the smarter of the two dogs I had at the time managed to create an escape route again, I used to drive around the neighborhood until I spotted them, and then open the car door.  Worked every time!  One time, it worked a little too well...at least my neighbor was happy that I rounded up his dog for him :)

snowfire

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1838 on: December 31, 2013, 06:09:24 PM »
When I was a teen I once babysat over the weekend for a couple of elementary age children, a cat, a Weimeraner and an Irish Setter.  The cat and the Weimeraner were perfectly behaved, the kids weren't too bad and the Irish Setter was a problem.  He was sweet and even tempered, but he was dumber than a box o'rocks and he was an escape artist.  He couldn't be trusted alone even in the back yard because he could, and would, scale the fence at will.  Luckily, he was also a sucker for the "Go for a ride?" bit.  My Mom caught him twice just by opening the car door and calling his name.  I took him out on a leash after the second escape.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1839 on: December 31, 2013, 07:18:30 PM »
We've got a smart dog and a dumb dog.  The smart dog used to do K9 search and rescue with me; the dumb dog runs away if she gets out the front door and never really learned any commands equivalent to "come back here you stupid mutt."  We finally figured out that to catch her, we have to take the smart dog out, loudly command him to sit, and then feed him a dog treat.  The dumb dog comes running because she absolutely can't stand the smart dog getting attention . . .

twiggy

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1840 on: January 05, 2014, 02:39:21 PM »
I don't really know where to put this, so here it goes. But go ahead and laugh...

MIL and FIL are in town. They are currently at our house after spending a week at SIL's, and they left their 2 new puppies (because what better time to get puppies than when you're 1500 miles away from home?) in the guest room. Well, the kids are drawn to the puppies, and despite being repeatedly told to leave them alone, I see one of the little puppies toddling down the hallway. I wasn't thinking at all, I just said the first thing that came into my head, which was "Who let the dogs out?!" DH started cracking up and keeps repeating the question, basically speaking the lyrics. Even the woofing.
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

3angels

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1841 on: January 06, 2014, 05:41:19 PM »
I just logged in and went straight to Time for a Coffee Break and the first three threads listed were...

This Might be a Stupid Question, But
What's for Dinner?
Bad Bosses

It was a strain not to laugh out loud at that, especially being at work  ;D

Elfmama

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1842 on: January 06, 2014, 07:52:18 PM »
I just logged in and went straight to Time for a Coffee Break and the first three threads listed were...

This Might be a Stupid Question, But
What's for Dinner?
Bad Bosses

It was a strain not to laugh out loud at that, especially being at work  ;D
But wouldn't serving Bad Bosses for dinner lead to "Yeah, Don't Do That", because it will ultimately show up on the Gross-Out thread?  Food poisoning, you know...
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Mental Magpie

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1843 on: January 06, 2014, 08:21:57 PM »
I just logged in and went straight to Time for a Coffee Break and the first three threads listed were...

This Might be a Stupid Question, But
What's for Dinner?
Bad Bosses

It was a strain not to laugh out loud at that, especially being at work  ;D
But wouldn't serving Bad Bosses for dinner lead to "Yeah, Don't Do That", because it will ultimately show up on the Gross-Out thread?  Food poisoning, you know...

Clever!
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Tashigi

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1844 on: January 07, 2014, 05:09:53 PM »
There was a news article about how Urban Outfitters' recently pulled a t-shirt patterned all over with the word "depression." The comedy gold was naturally in the comments.

One person said, basically: As someone with depression, I find this more stupid than offensive, but then... whatever.
Someone else replied drolly: As a depressed person, "whatever" is my response to just about everything.

I have to sit there and cackle to myself a bit, as someone who's also suffered from depression (and also thinks the shirt is more stupid than offensive).