Author Topic: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.  (Read 387532 times)

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lady_disdain

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1950 on: April 24, 2014, 07:50:17 PM »
Mom and I were watching Diners Drive Ins and Dives last night, and they were cooking rabbit.

Mom was sad because while the head of Bugs Bunny was off, it still looked like a bunny.

Evil Nikko showed herself then. "Oh look, they're cooking Thumper!"

The next episode featured a lamb dish. "Guess Hush Puppy is gonna miss lamb chop!"  >:D


Please please tell me you are all laughing to and I am not as evil as I think...

My mother and I both love rabbit (no, we will never eat anyone's pet bunny) and it is rather hard on restaurant menus here. So, when we went to a very nice local restaurant and saw braised rabbit, we of course went for it.

While we were waiting, we realized that we were all eating out at that nice restaurant because it was Easter and that it was not the best day of the year to order rabbit. However, the dish was already being cooked and we thought it would be rather wasteful to change the order at that point. So, yes, we ate the Easter bunny. It was delicious.

Onyx_TKD

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1951 on: April 24, 2014, 08:25:10 PM »
Mom and I were watching Diners Drive Ins and Dives last night, and they were cooking rabbit.

Mom was sad because while the head of Bugs Bunny was off, it still looked like a bunny.

Evil Nikko showed herself then. "Oh look, they're cooking Thumper!"

The next episode featured a lamb dish. "Guess Hush Puppy is gonna miss lamb chop!"  >:D


Please please tell me you are all laughing to and I am not as evil as I think...

My mother and I both love rabbit (no, we will never eat anyone's pet bunny) and it is rather hard on restaurant menus here. So, when we went to a very nice local restaurant and saw braised rabbit, we of course went for it.

While we were waiting, we realized that we were all eating out at that nice restaurant because it was Easter and that it was not the best day of the year to order rabbit. However, the dish was already being cooked and we thought it would be rather wasteful to change the order at that point. So, yes, we ate the Easter bunny. It was delicious.

So you're the reason I didn't get an Easter basket this year! Shame!  >:D

It had nothing to do with the fact that I'm (allegedly) a grown-up and not living with my mother anymore. Nope, nothing at all to do with that...

VorFemme

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1952 on: April 24, 2014, 08:26:23 PM »
Old story that led to a recent conversation with the Gentleman Friend. To wit:
Oh!  Oh!  The ground squirrel reminded me of one.  But it's BAAAADDD.

A friend of mine was pet-sitting for a friend who owned a boa constrictor and was on vacation for three weeks.  I think twice a week, Friend was supposed to go to the house and feed the snake.  The house was really pretty, the snake cage was the centerpiece of the room it was in and there was a whole sort of Asian feel to the room.  And off to the side was the mouse farm that served as the snake's menu.

SnakeOwner didn't get a chance to show Friend whole feeding procedure but explained that you had to give the snake a mouse twice a week and here are the things you should check the snake for and left a whole detailed list of "reasons to call the snake vet" and "stuff that will make the house blow up."

First feeding day, Friend goes to the house and immediately realizes that she hadn't thought this through carefully because this job first involves catching a mouse. Mice know when they're about to be fed to a snake and so, when she reached her hand into the mouse farm, CHOMP, she was bit.  Scrounges around and finds some gloves next to the mouse farm, along with a little wooden table and a mallet and a Zen sand thingy and bitty rake and other oddments.  Huh.  On with the gloves, catches a mouse, tosses it into the snake's cage and that part of the process is done.  She waters the plants, sorts the mail, and goes back to her life.

Comes back several days later only to find the snake looking a little peaked and a skinny but sassy mouse zooming around in the snake's cage.  Huh?  Friend isn't reaching in to the snake's cage to take the mouse out so she tosses a little mouse food into the snake cage, repeats the rest of her routine and leaves.  Comes back a couple of days later and the mouse is still hale and healthy but the snake is eyeing her in a way that doesn't seem entirely friendly.  Now she's worried.  She calls the vet, who says that the snake will eat when it's hungry and asks her other questions that are hard to answer about a snake that you barely know.  So Friend does the only sensible thing and calls SnakeOwner to explain the situation.

SnakeOwner can't understand why her snake won't eat.  You sure you got a new mouse?  And it was alive? You didn't hit it too hard?

Wait.  What?

Well, it turns out that the snake doesn't eat dead mice.  It also won't eat running around mice.  So you have to knock the mouse unconcious before it goes into the snake cage.  That's what the little wooden table and mallet are for - you get the mouse out of the farm, cup it on the wooden table and smack it with the hammer hard enough to knock it unconcious but not enough to kill it.  Turns out that takes a knack - not everyone can stun a mouse.

Friend still can't actually bring herself to reach into the snake's cage to fish for the living mouse in there, so she tosses some more mouse food in and then fishes out another mouse, WHACKS it on its little mousey head and gives it to the snake who apparently doesn't care so much about the distinction between living and dead after a week of no food because it jumps on little Mousey FooFoo like a reptile avenger.

And Friend suddenly understood why it was that SnakeOwner would hum the Bunny FooFoo song when it was feeding time.


I sent the Gentleman Friend this picture with accompanying text: "I want one."

His response: I am amused at the thought of you cackling maniacally whilst feeding what looks to be a venomous snake live mice.

My haughty response:
I wouldn't be cackling.
-pause-
I would be singing "Little Bunny Foo Foo."

Would you drink a Bunny Foo Foo before or after feeding the snake & serenading it?
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VorFemme

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1953 on: April 24, 2014, 08:30:58 PM »
Went out to eat with a group of friends to some restaurant...maybe an Applebees? It's been over 10 years, now.  Anyway, we're giving our orders and the guy orders a very rare burger and the waitress naturally is checking to be sure he really wants it rare and just how rare are we talking.

He said to just walk the cow past the fire on their way to the table.  The rest of us were laughing quite a bit as this guy was quite a cutup.

I had a friend who told me that she wanted the steer to take three laps around the building to get warmed up then run through the kitchen while the chef takes off a slice...then slap that on her plate & season it a bit but don't take too long as she wants it at the table before it cools off!

I prefer mine a little less rare...blue rare is too rare for me.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

White Dragon

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1954 on: April 25, 2014, 01:46:33 PM »
Mom and I were watching Diners Drive Ins and Dives last night, and they were cooking rabbit.

Mom was sad because while the head of Bugs Bunny was off, it still looked like a bunny.

Evil Nikko showed herself then. "Oh look, they're cooking Thumper!"

The next episode featured a lamb dish. "Guess Hush Puppy is gonna miss lamb chop!"  >:D


Please please tell me you are all laughing to and I am not as evil as I think...

Nikko-Chan, when we had our farm, the cattle intended for the freezer were named "Meatloaf" and "Hamburger".
The kids would be chowing down on steak and casually ask if it was from Robin or Campbell (the two retired bulls).

We never kept rabbits because Mr. Dragon pointed out that all rabbits would be named Stewart - Stew for short.

So no, it's not just you!

Ravenish

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1955 on: April 26, 2014, 07:49:52 AM »
I just find the world funny. I mean let's face it, taking life seriously is a waste of time. You're not getting out alive after all.

That being said I tend to leave my black humour until surrounded by folks of similar taste. One of my deceased relatives had an issue with a cart they were on deciding to give way (they weren't that big but I'm guessing the cart was just that old) basically one end buckled and she hit the ground head first while still mostly being on the cart. When we were at my grandfather's house I started giggling and couldn't stop for nearly half an hour. I had just realised that there was a very good chance my grandmother was buried with her dress up around her hips at best to remain so until it rotted away.

Tashigi

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1956 on: April 26, 2014, 06:31:21 PM »
Old story that led to a recent conversation with the Gentleman Friend. To wit:
Oh!  Oh!  The ground squirrel reminded me of one.  But it's BAAAADDD.

A friend of mine was pet-sitting for a friend who owned a boa constrictor and was on vacation for three weeks.  I think twice a week, Friend was supposed to go to the house and feed the snake.  The house was really pretty, the snake cage was the centerpiece of the room it was in and there was a whole sort of Asian feel to the room.  And off to the side was the mouse farm that served as the snake's menu.

SnakeOwner didn't get a chance to show Friend whole feeding procedure but explained that you had to give the snake a mouse twice a week and here are the things you should check the snake for and left a whole detailed list of "reasons to call the snake vet" and "stuff that will make the house blow up."

First feeding day, Friend goes to the house and immediately realizes that she hadn't thought this through carefully because this job first involves catching a mouse. Mice know when they're about to be fed to a snake and so, when she reached her hand into the mouse farm, CHOMP, she was bit.  Scrounges around and finds some gloves next to the mouse farm, along with a little wooden table and a mallet and a Zen sand thingy and bitty rake and other oddments.  Huh.  On with the gloves, catches a mouse, tosses it into the snake's cage and that part of the process is done.  She waters the plants, sorts the mail, and goes back to her life.

Comes back several days later only to find the snake looking a little peaked and a skinny but sassy mouse zooming around in the snake's cage.  Huh?  Friend isn't reaching in to the snake's cage to take the mouse out so she tosses a little mouse food into the snake cage, repeats the rest of her routine and leaves.  Comes back a couple of days later and the mouse is still hale and healthy but the snake is eyeing her in a way that doesn't seem entirely friendly.  Now she's worried.  She calls the vet, who says that the snake will eat when it's hungry and asks her other questions that are hard to answer about a snake that you barely know.  So Friend does the only sensible thing and calls SnakeOwner to explain the situation.

SnakeOwner can't understand why her snake won't eat.  You sure you got a new mouse?  And it was alive? You didn't hit it too hard?

Wait.  What?

Well, it turns out that the snake doesn't eat dead mice.  It also won't eat running around mice.  So you have to knock the mouse unconcious before it goes into the snake cage.  That's what the little wooden table and mallet are for - you get the mouse out of the farm, cup it on the wooden table and smack it with the hammer hard enough to knock it unconcious but not enough to kill it.  Turns out that takes a knack - not everyone can stun a mouse.

Friend still can't actually bring herself to reach into the snake's cage to fish for the living mouse in there, so she tosses some more mouse food in and then fishes out another mouse, WHACKS it on its little mousey head and gives it to the snake who apparently doesn't care so much about the distinction between living and dead after a week of no food because it jumps on little Mousey FooFoo like a reptile avenger.

And Friend suddenly understood why it was that SnakeOwner would hum the Bunny FooFoo song when it was feeding time.


I sent the Gentleman Friend this picture with accompanying text: "I want one."

His response: I am amused at the thought of you cackling maniacally whilst feeding what looks to be a venomous snake live mice.

My haughty response:
I wouldn't be cackling.
-pause-
I would be singing "Little Bunny Foo Foo."

Would you drink a Bunny Foo Foo before or after feeding the snake & serenading it?

After.
Alcohol, large snakes and possibly live rodents don't sound like the best combination.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1957 on: April 26, 2014, 08:22:30 PM »
I just find the world funny. I mean let's face it, taking life seriously is a waste of time. You're not getting out alive after all.

That being said I tend to leave my black humour until surrounded by folks of similar taste. One of my deceased relatives had an issue with a cart they were on deciding to give way (they weren't that big but I'm guessing the cart was just that old) basically one end buckled and she hit the ground head first while still mostly being on the cart. When we were at my grandfather's house I started giggling and couldn't stop for nearly half an hour. I had just realised that there was a very good chance my grandmother was buried with her dress up around her hips at best to remain so until it rotted away.

...I am laughing at this, too.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

JoW

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1958 on: April 26, 2014, 11:36:01 PM »
This happened to me a few minutes ago.

I have 3 cats.  Sassy and Sam are about 5 years old.  Dax is 15 and in failing health.  I was sitting in the living room, surfing the net.  The TV was on but I wasn't really paying attention to it.  Then I heard a horrible cat yell.  Some kitty was in distress.  Sassy and Sam were with me in the living room, but I couldn't find Dax.  A few minutes later it happened again, same result.  After the 3rd yell I gave up and looked all over the house.  Finally found Dax asleep on the bed, not a care in the world. 

Walking back to the living room I heard the cat distress call again, then Jackson Galaxy started talking.  Jackson Galaxy is the Cat Psychologist on Animal Planet.  The show I was not paying attention to was “My Cat from H***”.  The cat distress call came from a cat on his show. 

Nikko-chan

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1959 on: April 27, 2014, 11:51:55 AM »
Okay I've got one cat related for you folks. I am staying at a friends, and she went out with her mom to help her with something. When she returned, she returned with a cat carrier and a "Oh they're staying here until they're fixed." Inside were three teeny tiny kittens. One mostly black (Black Cat), One tabby (Tabby Cat), and one tuxedo (Tuxedo Cat).

Well of course I made the "you are sooo cuuuuuute" noises at them. Then we started to let them explore.

So we look for the kittens after a bit cause we hear the inevitable "human help me' noise. We find Black Cat and her sister Tabby Cat. Tuxedo Cat is missing. We spend an hour and a half searching for him. Finally friend says "I need a shower, so he should come out on his own hopefully."

Friend gets done with her shower, and suddenly we hear "Mreooooooow. Mreowwwwww."

Apparently there is a tiny hole that leads to a recess at the back of her gas stove. The little stinker climbed in there and had a lovely and long catnap.

Liliane

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1960 on: April 27, 2014, 08:24:00 PM »
Okay I've got one cat related for you folks. I am staying at a friends, and she went out with her mom to help her with something. When she returned, she returned with a cat carrier and a "Oh they're staying here until they're fixed." Inside were three teeny tiny kittens. One mostly black (Black Cat), One tabby (Tabby Cat), and one tuxedo (Tuxedo Cat).

Well of course I made the "you are sooo cuuuuuute" noises at them. Then we started to let them explore.

So we look for the kittens after a bit cause we hear the inevitable "human help me' noise. We find Black Cat and her sister Tabby Cat. Tuxedo Cat is missing. We spend an hour and a half searching for him. Finally friend says "I need a shower, so he should come out on his own hopefully."

Friend gets done with her shower, and suddenly we hear "Mreooooooow. Mreowwwwww."

Apparently there is a tiny hole that leads to a recess at the back of her gas stove. The little stinker climbed in there and had a lovely and long catnap.

One of my cats used to hide inside the innards of my fridge. Yes, inside, it was an old fridge that had the workings in the back exposed. I can't be mad that she did that though, because when I finally found her hiding spot, I was alerted to the fact that the fridge was leaking...
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snowfire

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1961 on: April 27, 2014, 11:18:38 PM »
Kind of like the way I found out that the water feed for my washer was leaking.  I have a partial basement and partial crawlspace.  There was a cardboard box in the trap to keep my cats from exploring the crawlspace.  One night, I heard a thud and checked on the box.  It had been knocked over. I went to reset it & noticed that it was soggy.  Followed the damp to the feed to the laundry room.  It turned out that the pipe had not been inserted into the fitting, just sort of held on with solder.

It was a pain to fix, but I was grateful to kitty.  If it had been anywhere else, it could have caused a lot of damage before it was found.

Tashigi

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1962 on: April 30, 2014, 05:17:01 PM »
I'm not sure what makes this worse: the fact that tornados in the Midwest have a rising death-count and this family barely escaped with their lives OR that it's a happy reunion story (after two days, family was able to find their cat in the wreckage of their home).

But I started cackling at the look on this cat's face.

« Last Edit: April 30, 2014, 05:24:41 PM by Tashigi »

Elfmama

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1963 on: April 30, 2014, 08:13:05 PM »
Obviously, his servants were not doing their jobs!  Imagine, allowing that tornado thing to disturb his daily naps!   >:D
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Fliss

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1964 on: April 30, 2014, 08:28:12 PM »

He looks like he's yelling for his butler.
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