Author Topic: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.  (Read 315270 times)

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magicdomino

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1980 on: May 20, 2014, 11:14:12 AM »
My favorite Lom Lehrer song:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7hO-1ItqXw

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1981 on: May 20, 2014, 11:36:38 AM »
When I was about 6-8 years old (late 1960s), my parents had a full collection of Tom Lehrer albums. I had all of them memorized, even when I didn't understand them.

For example: the song "Be Prepared," which is chock-full of perverted advice for a Boy Scout to be ready for anything:

"Keep your pot well-hidden where you're sure that it cannot be found,
And be careful not to turn on when the scoutmaster's around,
For he only will insist that it be shared,
So be prepared!"

I imagined someone tucking a tiny saucepan into his coat. Couldn't imagine why, but it seemed funny.
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Nikko-chan

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1982 on: May 27, 2014, 09:14:11 AM »
So some online friends and I were talking on a webcam chat the other night. Now, they've both met me on webcam. One of the boys however, forgot he had met me on webcam. He also forgot I was in the room after I turned my webcam and microphone off. This is what followed.

Friend 1: Dude, I like thought she was going to be a troll or something but she's totally adorable.
Friend 2: *smug grin*
Friend 1: *keeps going on about how he thought i was going to look like a troll*
Me: *typing into the chat* I am still in the room.
Me: *in all caps so as for him to have a better chance of seeing the message* I can still hear you you jerk!
Friend 1: *reading the screen* Oh... oh. I am so so sorry dear. *to friend 2* Why didn't you tell me!?

I could not stop laughing. Because A) I wasn't offended cause it was just so hilarious. and B) Friend 2 still had that smug look on his face.

I got back on cam and mic.

Me: Dangit, you made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe! And really, you really think [Friend 2] was going to tell you?! He was just waiting for it to play out!

I'm still laughing. :D

whiterose

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1983 on: May 31, 2014, 08:40:53 PM »
Today at a museum I saw a historical map of Africa. It had some very old and antiquated country names.

The part where Nigeria and Niger are was labelled "Negroland".

I know that both Nigeria and Niger derive their names from the Latin term for "black". And I know that the first half is just archaic and not intended to be offensive per se if not used in a disparaging way. But for some reason the old term seems much more politically incorrect- and funny in an immature and childish way.

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ladyknight1

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1984 on: May 31, 2014, 09:58:35 PM »
I'm reading Zora Neale Hurston's Of Mules and Men and some of the terminology has surprised me in the same way. I reread more than I read.

Margo

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1985 on: June 02, 2014, 09:04:24 AM »
Mom and I were watching Diners Drive Ins and Dives last night, and they were cooking rabbit.

Mom was sad because while the head of Bugs Bunny was off, it still looked like a bunny.

Evil Nikko showed herself then. "Oh look, they're cooking Thumper!"

The next episode featured a lamb dish. "Guess Hush Puppy is gonna miss lamb chop!"  >:D


Please please tell me you are all laughing to and I am not as evil as I think...

Nikko-Chan, when we had our farm, the cattle intended for the freezer were named "Meatloaf" and "Hamburger".
The kids would be chowing down on steak and casually ask if it was from Robin or Campbell (the two retired bulls).

We never kept rabbits because Mr. Dragon pointed out that all rabbits would be named Stewart - Stew for short.

So no, it's not just you!

My friend (who farms) once raised two pigs. their names were 'Pork' and 'Sausage'. They would come when you called them.
I think Pork went to the butcher in the end, but Sausage went into their freezer, and later, to the table. He was delicious.

magicdomino

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1986 on: June 02, 2014, 10:49:05 AM »
Mom and I were watching Diners Drive Ins and Dives last night, and they were cooking rabbit.

Mom was sad because while the head of Bugs Bunny was off, it still looked like a bunny.

Evil Nikko showed herself then. "Oh look, they're cooking Thumper!"

The next episode featured a lamb dish. "Guess Hush Puppy is gonna miss lamb chop!"  >:D


Please please tell me you are all laughing to and I am not as evil as I think...

Nikko-Chan, when we had our farm, the cattle intended for the freezer were named "Meatloaf" and "Hamburger".
The kids would be chowing down on steak and casually ask if it was from Robin or Campbell (the two retired bulls).

We never kept rabbits because Mr. Dragon pointed out that all rabbits would be named Stewart - Stew for short.

So no, it's not just you!

My friend (who farms) once raised two pigs. their names were 'Pork' and 'Sausage'. They would come when you called them.
I think Pork went to the butcher in the end, but Sausage went into their freezer, and later, to the table. He was delicious.

One of my nephews and his family raised a pig named Bacon.  I'm told that Bacon was delicious.   ;)

Slartibartfast

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1987 on: June 07, 2014, 08:56:31 PM »
Bittybartfast turns 2 this week - she's in the "repeating things" phase of language development.  (You usually can't understand more than just the vowels and an occasional consonant, but still . . .)

We had some formal family pictures done today at a local park.  The photographer was amazing - we had a whole hour for just our family, so we took the girls to the pond and fed the ducks and let them be cute and it was great.  Bittybartfast had this obsession with charging straight at the ducks full-speed, which nearly landed her in the pond a few times, but it was the one time she'd actually smile so we tried to find a good balance between letting her run and trying to curtail her enthusiasm.

Until she managed to zip past me and go straight into the pond.  It's got a cement retaining wall, so it's a good three feet deep even at the edges.  I caught the back of her shirt, but it turns out her shirt was stretchier than I expected, so she still went in over her head for a fraction of a second until I hauled her back out again.  Needless to say, she was MAD.

So DH is holding her, the photographer is taking some pictures because it really was hilarious, and Bittybartfast is absolutely dripping with pondwater.

DH: "Are you mad?"

Bittybarfast: "MAD!"

DH: "Was that cold water?"

Bittybartfast, with the biggest sourpuss put-on pout ever: "COLD WATER!!!!!!!"

The photographer and I both nearly fell over laughing, but I think she got some good pictures  :P  And if this teaches Bittybartfast a bit more of a healthy respect for not running while around water, I'm okay with that . . .

Mental Magpie

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1988 on: June 07, 2014, 11:12:40 PM »
I don't know how none of the adults didn't lose it! I don't know if I could contain myself!

Today we made kebabs on the grill. Six and I had a sword fight with ours after we finished the food. Six suddenly blurts out the best six year old trash talk I've ever heard.

"You fight like your mother!"

Once I stopped laughing, I finally managed to say, "I'm going to tell Grandma Magpie you said that!"

I'm her best six year old face, she looked appropriately mortified...for a fraction of a second before she began to giggle madly.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Tashigi

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1989 on: June 08, 2014, 01:24:37 AM »
Along the lines of a diabetes charity having a bake-off:

I was a bit grumbly at the dentist because I had not eaten anything (and wouldn't be eating much after). I mentioned this to the hygienist and she said, "Well, would it help if I gave you a cupcake after?"

I blink at her, "Er... isn't there something ironic about giving patients sweets after cleaning?"

She shrugs and smiles. "There are always sweet things at the office. In fact, when we're at community health events, the dentist loves to pass out brownies!"

I lose it. In between laughs, I gasp out, "Well- I guess he's trying to ensure he has patients!"

lady_disdain

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1990 on: June 08, 2014, 11:32:21 AM »
Bittybartfast turns 2 this week - she's in the "repeating things" phase of language development.  (You usually can't understand more than just the vowels and an occasional consonant, but still . . .)

We had some formal family pictures done today at a local park.  The photographer was amazing - we had a whole hour for just our family, so we took the girls to the pond and fed the ducks and let them be cute and it was great.  Bittybartfast had this obsession with charging straight at the ducks full-speed, which nearly landed her in the pond a few times, but it was the one time she'd actually smile so we tried to find a good balance between letting her run and trying to curtail her enthusiasm.

Until she managed to zip past me and go straight into the pond.  It's got a cement retaining wall, so it's a good three feet deep even at the edges.  I caught the back of her shirt, but it turns out her shirt was stretchier than I expected, so she still went in over her head for a fraction of a second until I hauled her back out again.  Needless to say, she was MAD.

So DH is holding her, the photographer is taking some pictures because it really was hilarious, and Bittybartfast is absolutely dripping with pondwater.

DH: "Are you mad?"

Bittybarfast: "MAD!"

DH: "Was that cold water?"

Bittybartfast, with the biggest sourpuss put-on pout ever: "COLD WATER!!!!!!!"

The photographer and I both nearly fell over laughing, but I think she got some good pictures  :P  And if this teaches Bittybartfast a bit more of a healthy respect for not running while around water, I'm okay with that . . .

I hate to ask this, since I know a lot of people may not be comfortable with the idea, but, please, please consider sharing this photo with us. :D

Seven Ate Nine

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1991 on: June 08, 2014, 04:06:31 PM »
I was at the grocery store the other day at the bottle return.  My morning had involved an unexpected trip to the tire store, and it was already about 2 hours after I had intended to be home.  DD was on my back in the Ergo (seriously in love with that thing) and holding it together but I have no idea how.  It was past lunchtime and we were heading into nap time very quickly, with little chance of being home on time.  I was not in my happy place.

The two people who were in the bottle return when I walked in left, and a few minutes late a man walked in.  I didn't think much of it, until I realized that he was wearing coveralls with the initials of the local jail written on them.  I kind of went O,o.  Then another man walked in, wearing a uniform, then another man in coveralls.  The CO/warden/what have you put the two guys in coveralls on one side of me and himself on the other side.  I was even less happy.  I finished what I was doing quickly, and got out of that area.  But before I got out, I noticed the uniform on the guy in charge.  It was not a jail uniform, it was for the local Animal Control.  I couldn't help myself.  I thought it was hilarious.

Thipu1

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1992 on: June 09, 2014, 12:24:54 PM »
I was going out for some grocery shopping and, in the vestibule, I encountered a woman taking a small dog out for a walk.  The dog was very vocal and had a voice way out of proportion to its size.  I lightly remarked on this and we walked together to the corner. 

The woman was chatty and I soon learned that the poor dog was 14 years old and almost blind.  He also had cancer and a heart condition.  Still, the creature seemed quite spry.  We stood at the corner waiting for the light to change while discussing possible pets Mr. Thipu and I might consider. 

Then the dog peed on my ankle. 

  I was wearing a pair of rather nice-looking light slacks and the woman was appalled at the damage.  We'd go to the bodega across the street, buy some water and get me cleaned right up.  I appreciated her offer and apologies but none were necessary. 

The pants cost me five dollars and I'd been wearing them for four years.  When I got home I'd just
toss them in the wash and they'd come out just fine.  They did. 

When we went our separate ways she was still apologizing.  I had to laugh to myself about this old  little toy poodle who still knew how to mark his territory and take control of a situation. 

Dagnabit, he wanted a walk and we humans were just lollygagging around gabbing at the corner.     


Tashigi

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1993 on: June 09, 2014, 03:52:39 PM »
The landlady's cat got out a few days ago (and came back, wouldn't stay away). I noticed that something was odd about one of his back paws and mentioned it to the landlady. She investigated it and realized it was a half-formed scab that was starting to smell, though it wasn't yet hot to touch.

Attempts at making him a purrito to do some cleaning did not go well (for the landlady or the cat) and the kitty was toted to the vet. He came back groggy from being put under and with a rigid e-collar.

Watching him attempt to navigate the room and his food bowl while under the lingering aftereffects of the anesthesia AND the Cone of Shame was... amusing.

ETA detail that arguably makes it worse: I put a picture of the cat staring groggily at his foodbowl as in "How do I tackle this?" on my FB page. One of my FB friends commented, "Awwww! So he's in the shame cone, he's groggy, grumpy, AND gimpy? That's tragically adorable." I put up a chiding comment about his choice of words but I couldn't help but snort-laugh at the alliteration.
« Last Edit: June 09, 2014, 03:54:56 PM by Tashigi »

Reika

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Re: Things that you just should NOT laugh at.
« Reply #1994 on: June 20, 2014, 06:57:51 PM »
The Owl Whisperer

Warning, strong language.

Guy finds an owl in his house, the video is his reaction and what he does to get the owl out.  ;D